


Afraid of Heights

by Mullett



Series: We Fall Together [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, F/M, Fertility Issues, Fluff, Idiots in Love, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader - Freeform, James "Bucky" BarnesReader, Major Character Injury, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Not Canon Compliant, Omega Reader, POV Bucky Barnes, POV Female Character, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Loki (Marvel), Protective Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel) - Freeform, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Self Confidence Issues, Slow Burn, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Violence, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, no descriptions of you, no y/n, your name is Poppins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:48:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 82,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26516980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mullett/pseuds/Mullett
Summary: “How’s Cap?”“He’s good, he’s on his way home,” she smiled as the room gave a little cheer, Sam reached back to high five Natasha “He asked if you can set up access to a new resident at level 2. He said you can leave him the key in your office because he will be landing in the early hours, he doesn’t want you to wait up.”“Sure, who’s he bringing back with him?” you asked, “Anyone we know?”“You’ve yet to meet Bucky,” she replied with a smirk“The Sergeant returns?” Loki quipped an eyebrow“Who the hell is Bucky?” you asked, Sam guffawed against your chest“James Buchanan Barnes, he’s an old friend of Caps,” Nat smirked “like, first world war old.”You imagined a wizened old man hobbling along the corridors.“You remember the terrorist attack on the UN that lead Cap to Europe?” Nat explained, you nodded in recognition “that was Bucky.”“Jeez. How much trouble can a centenarian get into?” you asked. All 3 residents smirked in response.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Sam Wilson (Marvel)/Reader, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov
Series: We Fall Together [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2166024
Comments: 406
Kudos: 702





	1. Prologue

Every Pup learns their designation will be their value in society from an early age. When you presented as an Omega at 17, your Omega father cried whilst your Alpha mother celebrated. For her it meant you would be in high demand for the Alpha community, someone strong would fight for you to be theirs and never let you go. You would always be desired and always be cared for, hopefully creating your own pack of pups in the process. You could have a fulfilled and comfortable life. For your father, he knew you would be at the mercy of possessive partners, your presentation would mean you would be submissive and nurturing, but he was worried it wouldn't be for the person who deserved it most.

Initially everything was working out correctly, the way it always did. You had interest from local alphas, you were dating, but none made the move to ask for your bond, and none of the relationships were an intense mutual infatuation occurring in True Mates. You were young, it was expected, but as the years crept by, the interest slowed to a stop. Soon most of your peers had their hands full with broods of pups, you were no longer invited on dates, and common ground became smaller and smaller. It was as if you were invisible... a completely unbelievable position for an omega to be in. But were you still an Omega? It didn’t take long for your heats to stop arriving, erratic at best, they paused indefinitely in your early 20s. Without heats, you couldn't incite an Alpha to rut, which meant no bond, and no pups.  
When your parents both passed, you realised just how disconnected you had become. It led you to sitting yourself down and contemplating hard on what you wanted in life. You wanted social interaction, a way to excel with your nurturing nature, and you wanted some spontaneity.

Which is how you ended up interviewing for the role of housekeeper on your 30th birthday for a Mr Tony Stark.

"You will manage floors 15 to 17. All decisions are yours to make. Here on floor 15 we have a communal kitchen and common area," he opened his arms and gestured to the space "separate and private for our residents and guests. Down the hall we have a cinema room where we have a weekly film night, laundry and further utilities area for any kitchen storage overflow and an office for you for when the residents inevitably lock themselves out of their rooms. Everyone is currently on the 16th floor, closest to the kitchens." He winked.  
"We currently have 10 permanent residents, give or take Barton but we have capacity for 50. 25 self-contained apartments, 2 floors. You are the keepers of the keys and the distributor of post. Every guest will report to you for access their rooms. It’ll be up to you to change over the rooms for the next guest, launder sheets and fix them with clean sets. You're not expected to launder the resident’s personal effects and it's up to them to change their own damn sheets.  
With regards to communal spaces, the residents should be keeping them all clean, but it’ll be your domain to follow up if the cleaners start slacking. You will be the one to order in the food shop each week, the residents know to hand their shopping lists in on a Sunday but it's good to have the basics in. They can go sort out any extras they want on their own time. I'm sure they will come to you with other queries but upscale to myself or Pepper if you need."  
You both paused outside the housekeepers office.  
"Thank you Mr Stark." You smiled  
"Tony, please. Come by on Friday, I'll have your log in set up, we'd love to welcome you on board!" Tony exclaimed excitedly. "And your mate and pups, we have multi room apartments for them all to move in, you can take your pick."  
Your mouth opened awkwardly for a moment as you struggled to explain your situation to the Omega in front of you. Of course after telling him your designation he would assume you were bonded with a pack of pups... that was what anyone would expect.  
"Actually, it's just me... just a 1 bed would do me fine." You admitted looking down at your hands  
"Oh... really?!" He exclaimed his eyes wide, a slight frown on his face "well you are a rarity aren’t you!"  
You gave a small smile.  
"Hopefully not forever, but I've made my peace with it." You acknowledged gently as you shrugged.  
"I was in my 40s when I bonded with Pepper." Tony admitted "sometimes it takes time for the right one to come along, but I promise it's worth the wait... Anyway, if you need any modifications to the apartment for your needs, just let me know. Move in over the weekend ready to start Monday, does that sound good?"

***

Making the transition from civilian life to the compound was easier than you ever expected, though admittedly, it was less about you and more about how the Avengers had reacted to you joining them. It turned out having a presence in the compound to greet the residents when they got home, with a welcoming smile and an optional cuddle did wonders for the teams mental health, which didn’t stop their need to regular therapy but definitely made their day to day easier, though that may have been the fault of Tony penning your new nick name of ‘Mary Poppins' to confuse everyone that your role wasn’t just a housekeeper, but also an emotional support nanny. The residents of the compound didn’t take long at all to warm up and include you into the fold, be it including you in group meals, film night every Sunday or even to the gym though then you would politely decline, as even when they went easy on you, they still destroyed your muscles for the rest of the week. It felt great to finally be included without any emphasis on your designation to suggest your value or worth, though no one had asked your designation it was clear your lack of scent was confusing, what made you happiest was that it still didn’t matter. You were part of the team.  
This was your new start at being part of a family, and no one had adopted you quicker than the Asgardians.

The first time the Alpha brothers had come to visit, Thor had been so excited to meet you he had forgotten his brother was still under arrest and chained at his ankles and wrists. It had taken a strong 10 minutes of Thor shaking your hand whilst you pointedly peeked behind him for him to remember to introduce Loki and explain he was going to be living on the compound under house arrest until Odin deemed him repentant for his crimes against Midgard in 2012. The dark-haired brother had been curt but polite as you lead him to his room, explaining the social areas to him, and inviting him to call on you if he needed any help. It had taken a week of watching him struggle to disguise his confusion with the kitchen appliances before you had taken pity and explained the kettle, toaster, oven and dishwasher to him late one night when you caught him standing in the kitchen with his head in his hands. You had made him some eggs and beans on toast because you didn’t trust he had eaten anything else and the next morning he surprised you in your office with a cup of hot tea, cementing a strong friendship. He had stayed on house arrest for 18 months in total, helping the Avengers identify threats of the extra-terrestrial and magical variety with his historical knowledge before Odin had recalled him back to Asgard. If you hadn’t known better you would have guessed he would choose to stay at the compound if he had the choice but the prince had duties to fulfil and he left with an extra-long embrace for you whispering his promises to visit as soon as possible.

A few months after you moved in, there was an accident during a mission in Lagos, it caused uproar and the Sokovia Accords were drafted causing huge tension between the team. When a terrorist attack struck at the UN summit, an old acquaintance of Captain Rogers was blamed, and the Captain took off to Europe to track him down. The team had never been so divided, and it had taken months for riffs to heal enough for Cap to return to the team whilst Tony and Pepper moved out of the compound.

That was when Thanos struck Midgard. An attack on Vision whilst he visited Scotland with Wanda, followed by another attack to New York faltered by Tony, Bruce and a sorcerer named Strange caused everyone else to congregate in Wakanda for a battle of Earth. Thor arrived with a few of the Guardians, turning the tide and in the final minutes when hope was almost lost, he managed to lodge his axe into the Titans head, ending the battle and the threat to Earth in a heartbeat.

Most of the residents of the compound had returned the month before, minus Cap but including Loki, who explained Asgard was being rebuilt in the North of Norway, following their seeking asylum after the events of Ragnarok, but he had been given leave to take some time to recuperate following the battle.

2 years after joining the compound, the weather was a dreary October drizzle. Soon the snow would come but until then it rained constantly.  
You were found in the living room reading with Loki, his head leaning against your ribs as you both laid there on two sections of the spacious U shape couch in comfortable silence, stroking his hair absentmindedly.  
“Budge up Highness, I need a squidge with Poppin,” Sam called as he crawled up your legs to nestle himself on top of you, Loki sat up, slightly disgruntled but he crossed his legs and continued reading without another word. You gave his knee a squeeze before wrapping your arms around Sam’s neck, enveloping his head into your chest, and kissing the top of his head.  
“How’d your mission go Wilson?” you asked he rubbed his head around and sighed dramatically  
“Fine. Got the Intel, just took longer than we expected,” he grumbled “I’ve missed feeling warm, them safe houses are pretty damn basic.”  
Loki reached behind him for a blanket and wordlessly passed it to you to drape over Sam. You smiled in return and he nodded. Always unable to vocalise his appreciation for the team, but able to show it with micro gestures like this. Both these guys had been tentative with each other initially, but through spending their time with you and your touchy feely cuddles, they have found a subtle common ground of camaraderie despite their differences in personality and specialisation.  
“where is Nat? Is she joining us for a movie tonight?” you asked  
“Yeah she’s on a call with Cap and she’ll join us after.” Sam replied pulling the blanket around his shoulders and sighing comfortably.

  
Sam had been the first of the residents to really defrost in your company when you joined the compound, confident and loud with bravado he was quick to make small talk which then led to little touches and in jokes, which then lead to hugs and finally full on cuddling on the couches like tonight. You weren’t sure if the Alpha could tell your Omega designation made you the perfect recipient for his affection but the conversation had never been aired, this was a purely platonic relationship albeit affectionate in ways Sam wasn’t able to be with others.

  
Nat arrived with a bottle of wine and multiple glasses as she sat on the other bar of the U shaped couch, she poured out the glasses and sat herself back in the corner. She lifted Sam’s feet and resettled them on her lap  
“How’s Cap?” you asked  
“He’s good, he’s on his way home,” she smiled as the room gave a little cheer, Sam reached back to high five Natasha “he asked if you can set up access to a new resident at level 2. He said you can leave him the key in your office because he will be landing in the early hours, he doesn’t want you to wait up.”  
“Sure, who’s he bringing back with him?” you asked, “anyone we know?”  
“You’ve yet to meet Bucky,” she replied with a smirk  
“The Sergeant returns?” Loki quipped an eyebrow  
“Who the hell is Bucky?” you asked, Sam guffawed against your chest  
“James Buchanan Barnes, he’s an old friend of Caps,” Nat smirked “like, first world war old.”

  
You imagined a wizened old man hobbling along the corridors.

  
“You remember the terrorist attack on the UN that lead Cap to Europe?” Nat explained, you nodded in recognition “that was Bucky.”

  
“Jeez. How much trouble can a centenarian get into?” you asked. All 3 residents smirked in response.


	2. 31st October

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hullo!  
> Thanks for clicking on my story, it's been a long time since I've written anything so I'm looking forward to improving. x

James Buchanan Barnes felt exhausted in mind, body and soul.  
Fresh from being deprogrammed in Wakanda, all he wanted was to hole up in his new apartment and refuse to come out for a week or so. He yawned deeply, thankful for Sam for taking the time to meet him from the jet, he had showed him the communal areas, retrieved his key from an office and took him straight to his room, where he left him to settle in. Classic military efficiency.

Bucky hated to admit it, but he wasn’t ready to spend time with Steve right now, the disappointment in his chest flared as he remembered the sight of the bite mark on Steve’s mating gland. After all these years, all these _century's_ and he still thought perhaps they could be together, obviously two Alphas couldn't bond, but they didn’t need too, they'd been together in the 30s, they'd found each other against all odds, and thanks to Steve's help Bucky had just spent a few years in Wakanda where Shuri had successfully unprogrammed the keywords HYDRA used to control him. Now, after all these years both Bucky and Steve were in a position to be together, in a time where two men shouldn't end up arrested, and instead of reuniting the way Bucky had imagined in his head since Shuri defrosted him, the first thing he had seen was a bite mark as Steve admitted he had bonded with Natasha. 

He surveyed the room he had been given. There was a good view of the forest from here, he was directly inside the canopy of trees, it felt calming. To his right, was a kitchenette, across the wall, enough space to prepare a meal, a sink, draining board and small fridge under the cabinet. As he panned left he was directly in front of his living area, a large black leather sofa pointed towards a flat screen tv attached to a stud wall. Behind that was his sleeping area, technically not a bedroom per say, but the double bed would do, next to it were bedside tables he could imagine holding the books he would schedule to read.

  
He was excited to make this place his own. The first place in a long time he hoped to settle in for the foreseeable future. The wall to the far left was a built-in wardrobe, a good size too if he were the kind of man to make use of a nest, he could probably stretch out on the floor of it quite comfortably. Finally, he came to a door to the side to find his bathroom. Shower, toilet, sink and the largest tub he had ever seen. Maybe he could become a bath kinda guy in the future.

He grunted in annoyance as he began to undress, perhaps a hot shower would relax him enough to get some sleep tonight. He dread having to see Steve and Natasha together tomorrow, no matter how well suited they were. Because admittedly they were well suited. It wasn’t fair. He would totally have got straight back out into the dating scene in the 30s. Before. Before all the bullshit since. Now? Now probably not. Who would want to mate with someone like him? Someone who couldn't get the most basic pop culture references. Realistically though, it occurred to him that his true mate probably wasn’t around anymore, most mates bonded in their 20s, if he had had a true mate when he was young, they would likely be dead by now. Kind of like his relationship with Steve, because that's all their relationship would be now. Friendship. He would have taken friendship over no relationship any day but it's still ached in his chest.

Shutting off the water he wrapped a towel around his hips and went to walk to his bedroom before he remembered he had no spare clothes, he had just been allocated the room at the choice of the housekeeper a matter of hours ago, they couldn't have stocked the wardrobe with clothing.

Moving into the compound was meant to make life simpler, he could work private missions, live comfortably, and get access to therapy and medical facilities at no additional cost. The reality was he was starting from scratch. Again. Where the hell could he get clothes at this time of night?!  
A knock at the door disturbed him from his annoyance, Sam stood on his doorstep holding a large cardboard box

"Hey man, thought you’d appreciate some standardised loungewear to fill your draws." Stepping back to let him in, Sam popped the box down on the couch, he dug into the box and threw Bucky a pair of boxers and a squishy sachet, he caught both easily and turned the sachet in his hand to read the front.  
"Its meal replacement, but it’ll save you a trip to the kitchen tonight." Sam explained "you can order them from the canteen, they're designed for moon cycles when you're locked away for the week but they're alright. Get the job done."   
"Thanks man," Bucky replied with a sigh, with all his disappointment rolling around he needed to make a mental note to show Sam his appreciation after this.  
"No worries," Sam smiled as he made his way back to the door, he paused in the doorway, "I’ll meet you in the kitchen tomorrow at 5.30am, we can get some pre workout in before a training session."

Bucky nodded as he closed the door on him and sat on his bed, pulling on the boxers and ripping the lid of the sachet he gave a tentative sip before draining the whole thing and throwing it across the room to the sink in his kitchenette. Too tired to be bothered finding his bin he sank back into his sheets mentally deciding tomorrow was his clean slate


	3. 1st November

Monday mornings were your opportunity to start the week right. And as luck would have it on this morning, the kitchen was empty when you entered. It seemed like a good time to spread out and make your millennial favourite, poached eggs with smashed avocado, opinions of others be damned. Setting water onto boil, you took to removing your avocado from its shell ready to smash into a bowl. 

An instinct froze your movements as you heard footsteps enter the kitchen and stop abruptly. Stood in the kitchen was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen. Dressed in the compound loungewear everyone owned you deduced he was the new arrival. The sergeant. But he wasn’t elderly? Built as large as Cap his shoulder length dark hair contrasted with two large blue eyes focused in your direction. He began to stalk forwards with a low growl, closing the gap in an easy 4 strides of his long legs. Two arms caged you into the kitchen counter, not that you were able to move a muscle.

You knew your breath had become ragged as he leant down towards you, his upper half heaving as the man breathed into your neck as if his life depended on it. The scent of arousal exploded into the room, tinged with Alpha dominance and joy, all you could scent was spiced apples and cinnamon, you could almost taste it leaking from his pores. Were you purring?!

“What.. _are_ you?” the man demanded.

Gently, you placed your palms against his chest, he was warm, comfortable and dependable. His right hand closed over yours securely, he had a little smile teasing over those shapely lips. You wondered how gentle they would be on your skin.

“I’m the housekeeper,” you answered unhelpfully, his brows furrowed in confusion.

You were acutely aware you were opening your legs wider for him to stand closer against you, your hips pushing forward against his. Your skin buzzed inside your clothes wherever you could feel his pressure against you. Could you take the clothes off to feel his skin against yours? How long would it take? Would the kitchen be appropriate? Possibly not. How quick could we get to your office? Could he smell how aroused you felt? His pupils were blowing out larger and larger as they delved into your soul and you couldn't look away.

He was leaning in, could you kiss him? Would he mind? He leant over to your left and you leaned to the right, presenting your neck to him. Full on submitting to him like a good Omega should. Maybe he could kiss your neck. Perhaps he could kiss your mating gland, you would like that, perhaps the beautiful man could bite it and bond you together. He was running his nose along your jaw and your eyes fluttered shut as your stomach did somersaults. He was about to bite you, you could sense it. You could feel his breath as you pulled the collar of your shirt down with your right hand to give him easier access, while your left stayed encased in his.

Far away you could hear voices, not loud enough to pay attention too but gaining urgency.  
He kissed your cheek, a shiver rippled round your limbs, yes, this was exactly what you wanted, you knew you were melting into him as he gave your mating gland a lick, tentative, testing, tasting, was this it? Was he about to bond with you?

"Enough now Barnes," Loki growled, placing his hands on the soldier’s shoulders and pushing him down onto his knees. 

The fog immediately lifted from your mind to open your eyes to see Loki, Sam and Cap standing in the kitchen with concern all over their faces. You looked back down to the man named Barnes. He blinked a few times in shock, realising what had almost happened. He let go of your hand to brace the floor, staring down in disbelief.  
"Do I need to muzzle you or are you able to control your instincts?" Loki muttered into his ear holding him solidly to the ground.

"I.. I'm sorry.." Barnes stuttered, his breaths becoming more ragged as he gulped down air.  
"Cap, he cant breathe," unable to take your eyes off the beautiful man you called to Rogers, who snapped out his reverie to pull Barnes up back to his feet with Loki, they dragged him away to the living area to sit him down on a couch

Strong arms and a solid chest enveloped you into an embrace as Sam wrapped himself around you.  
"You okay Poppin?" He asked gently, nuzzling your hairline scenting you with calming pheromones. You could scent a hint of fear on him, slowly dissipating into the air.

“I.. I don’t know,” you admitted, “I don’t understand.”

Over on the couch you watched as Cap knelt before the man named Barnes, grounding him through his panic attack, Barnes had tears in his eyes as he focused on his breathing, unable or unwilling to look in your direction, you felt the urge to go over and comfort him. Loki was stood beside them glowering at Barnes, but his eyes darted to you & his features softened 

“He looked like he was about to bond you, I’ve never seen him react like that before,” Sam admitted as he held you tightly.

Panic bubbled into your chest, you had _never_ melted like that before an Alpha before, not even when you had successful heats all those years ago, you barely knew the mans name and you would have let him bond you both together?! What on earth was happening.

“Sam,” a voice called from over the room, you both turned to Loki “take her to her room. I’ll bring her breakfast to her,”  
Sam looked back to you for consent, and when you nodded he took your hand to lead you back to the elevators.

Bucky watched his friend hold your hand, leading you away from him, and felt his chest constrict painfully again, the urge to run over and take you away from him second only to getting his breathing back under control. His vision blurred again as a new wave of tears fell.  
“Wait! Please! I’m sorry!” he blurted out trying to roll off the couch onto his knees, unfortunately Loki had a firm grip on his shoulder.  
“Not now Barnes, you have to earn her first" he riddled with a small smirk Steve hadn’t picked up on. His large blonde friend was still kneeled in front of him, concern etched all over his face.

“Lets get you to Banner for a check up pal, you don’t look so good.” He commented as he stood. 


	4. 1st November #2

Banners lab was extensive, so he lead Cap and Bucky into a smaller room comprising of a bed, a few chairs, and his computer.

It wasn’t often he would act as physician now, but when the team had a more delicate matter it was preferable to see him than head down to the medical bay.

“What happened?” Banner asked, getting his gloves on.

He noticed Cap and Barnes exchange a look before Barnes continued to look at his knees.

“We’ve uhhh..” Steve brow furrows as he attempted to place his words in the right order. “We’ve just walked in on Bucky about to bond with Poppin.”

Banner raised his eyebrows.

“In the kitchen. He’d gone full Alpha on her. If I didn’t know any better I’d say he was about to rut her. Loki had to step in and get him off her. He’s just had a panic attack.” Steve finished unsure as to whether he had successfully explained how out of character this was.

“Well Steve, I don’t need to tell you when a man and woman..” Banner began

“I don’t rut.” Bucky interrupted “I cant rut, not since the war.”

Banner looked at him closely as he pulled out a blood pressure sleeve and wrapped it around Bucky's right arm.

“You’ve not rut since the 1940s?” he asked gently, Bucky shook his head. 

“They stopped happening when I enlisted. I thought it was stress.” He explained still staring at his knees as Banner removed the sleeve. “I don’t know what happened with the housekeeper, it was like I wasn’t in control but it was the right thing to do.”

“Were you going to bite her mating gland?” Banner asked

“Its all I can think about,” admitted Bucky “it’s like we are meant to be together, even now, I want to be her mate.” 

“And this hasn’t happened before, the instinct taking over to bond with another?” Banner asked as he sat back in his swivel chair. Bucky shook his head.

“And how is Poppin?” Banner asked Cap

“how did she react to this?”

“She appears shaken up, Sam took her back to her room.” He replied as the door opened and Sam walked in.

“Is she okay?” Bucky looked up at Sam with eyes brimming with tears again “I’m so sorry if I hurt her, I didn’t mean too,”

Sam held up a hand to pat Bucky on the shoulder

“You didn’t hurt her, you’re both okay,” he soothed 

Banner was tapping away at his computer, a small thumbnail with Poppins picture had come up on his screen. Bucky felt a little jolt in his belly.

“Poppin has no history of being mated right? That she’s ever spoken of?” he turned to ask the room. Bucky was staring at his knees again, Cap shook his head slowly.

“She was ready to be mated this morning,” Sam commented with a smirk “never seen her submit like that to an Alpha,”

“She submit to Bucky?” Banner asked seriously 

“Like a textbook Omega, she was as gone as he was!” Sam exclaimed 

Banner looked back to the computer, deep in thought. He tapped his mouse and her file disappeared from view.

“What designation is Poppin?” Cap asked

“Before today she didn’t appear to have one,” Sam answered, “I just assumed she’s a Beta.”

The men stood in silence as they processed this mornings events

“What do you think Bruce?” Cap asked

“Well, Bucky’s blood pressure is high, but not high enough to conclude that he’s began a rut. You have a history of trauma so the panic attack isn’t out of proportion to an event this chaotic.” He paused as he turned to Bucky “I think you’ll be okay out of the vicinity of Poppin.”

“But why did this happen?” Cap pushed. 

“well, I'd say that the logical conclusion is that you and Poppin are simply biologically compatible.” Banner shrugged

“That’s it? You think Bucky reacted like that because they’re a good pair to mate?!” Cap exclaimed “if that were the case we would all be about to rut in the communal areas,”

Banner smiled and shook his head “not necessarily, do you remember being told about the concept of true mates as a pup? 

“Yeah, it’s a fairy tale you tell Omegas, so they submit to a rut,” Steve argued “you can’t actually believe Bucky and Poppin are true mates?!”

“I’m not saying yes, but I’m not saying no. Studies show statistical evidence that mating pairs who bonded over a primal instinct on first look are more likely to mate for life, they’re also more likely to have larger packs of pups, it’s like an extra strong fertility boost.” Banner explained 

“she’s my true mate? Like love at first sight?” Bucky asked quietly 

“Something like that,” Banner replied whilst Steve scoffed 

“Come on Cap you can’t rubbish this just because you and Nat took the slow burn route,” Sam interrupted, soaking in a scowl from Steve.

“Does this mean... with the fertility boost... if we mate... me and Poppin... that we have a chance to have pups even though I can’t rut?” Bucky asked 

“I can’t confirm that a true mate will bring back your ruts, but I’d say the odds would be in your favour if that is what’s happening. This isn’t for me to say but Poppin has her own medical issues, pups may not be possible for you two.” Banner replied delicately “then again, yesterday she didn’t even present a designation, today she’s attracting an Alpha. I’m interested to see where this goes,” 

“what do you mean she didn’t present a designation?” Bucky asked looking around the men in the room.

“Her designation is not clear, we can’t scent her,” Sam replied, “can you scent her?!”

Bucky nodded deep in thought.

“Poppins designation is on her medical file, right?” Cap asked Bruce, Bruce nodded with a smile.

“Then what is she?” he asked “how has she overridden Bucky like this? We’ve known her for years and haven’t caught so much of a scent off her.”

“You know that’s confidential Cap, it’s for her to tell you.” Banner replied shaking his head

“What’s her scent like Barnes?” Sam asked, Bucky sighed.

“Peppermint,” he replied looking away at the wall

“This is unbelievable.” Grumbled Cap

“well I’m happy for you Barnes, she deserves a strong mate, she will be good for you.” Sam replied

“Will I react to her like this again? How can I get to know her without.. without repeating what happened this morning. Will it happen every time?” Bucky asked Banner, but he was back to looking at his knees

“I can’t say. I’d say to be sure, we need to control the conditions so her scent doesn’t overtake you so quickly, I have some pheromone blockers you could take that will keep you under control until you feel its right to stop taking them. They’re designed to postpone heats and ruts for a limited time.” Banner replied turning back to his computer

“How limited are we talking Doc?” Bucky asked

“I wouldn’t recommend using them for longer than a year, anyone missing 4 seasonal ruts and heats is cause for concern,” Banner swung back round to look at Bucky

“Although, as we know some situations are fully out of our control Sergeant.”

“Buck you’re not taking a suppressant.” Steve argued

“Steve, this isn’t your decision to be making.” Sam interjected quietly

“The hell it’s not his to be making either!” Steve’s voice raising volume “absolutely not Buck. Alphas have no need of suppressant,”

“I’m not a normally functioning alpha Steve and this ain’t a normal situation.” Bucky answered, their accents getting stronger as they returned to their bickering youth

“You are not designated to submit! And suppressing your designation is you submitting to her! It ain’t the way of it and you’ll do yourself damage!” Steve retorted

“Steve, I’m already beyond damaged,” Bucky answered back with a hollow laugh.

“No Buck, you’re an alpha! She should be presenting to you not the other way around or she ain’t worth it!” Steve fired back.

Banner cleared his throat awkwardly, as an Omega himself he knew first hand Alpha opinion on designation. He knew Steve didn’t mean any harm by his outdated opinions on the matter but it was still uncomfortable having his friend say it out loud. He typed a prescription into his computer and printed out the slip for Bucky to sign.

“This is a small compound and I want her to be safe and happy living here with me whilst I’m left behind from press work.” Bucky explained. Cap scoffed again and Bucky felt his patience run out with his oldest friend.

“Look Steve, I got on the flight from Wakanda, thinking when I got off, I’d be spending the rest of my life with you. You now have Natasha, and I am happy for you, but damnit Steve. The universe has just gifted me a possible mate for myself, one that may even be able to have pups against all odds and you don’t have any respect for it! You may not like it but I’m doing this right, I’m doing this once or I’m not doing it at all.”

Cap went pale as his jaw clenched. He had known how upset Bucky had been when he noticed his bitten mating gland, but Bucky hadn’t said anything, and he hoped they could slowly bring it up in conversation another time.

“Okay Buck.” He sighed “whatever you want to do, I’ll respect it.”

Steve took his leave; Sam shuffled his feet but didn’t make a move.

Banner stood and opened a safe in the corner of the room Bucky hadn’t noticed yet, he took a packet from the shelf and affixed an instruction sticker onto the packet before he handed it to Bucky.

“Here, sign here please Bucky. Take once a day, I’d avoid Poppin today but tomorrow you should see an improvement,” he instructed.

“Thank you, Bruce.” Bucky smiled as he left the doctors room with Sam.

As they waited for the elevator up to their apartments Bucky sighed.

“Hey Sam... you really think I got a chance with Poppin? To make her happy I mean.”

Sam glanced sideways at him with a smirk

“Buck, once we declare your honourable intentions, you are good to go.”


	5. 1st November #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sporadic posting so we can get this story off the ground! I am loving all your feedback, thank you for taking the time! X

Back in your room, you wanted to wait patiently for Loki to return, but every part of your skin felt itchy. It felt wrong to sit down, and you had only showered within the hour, so you paced your living space understanding the tingling sensation had everything to do with the Alpha you had left behind downstairs.

The areas he had touched were especially sensitive, your left hand still felt as if he was holding it, your cheek was heated from his kiss. Your mating gland was practically throbbing from where he had licked it. Why did you want to run back downstairs for him to touch you again? This felt as ridiculous as it felt like the right thing to do... but what was making you feel this way for this stranger?!

Biting your lip, you were edging towards the door, perhaps if you could talk to the man, Barnes, you could both figure out what this reaction to each other meant. Perhaps he could bond with you and then talk. Perhaps he could hold you as you spoke. All you wanted was to feel him against you once again.

A knock on the door startled you from your thoughts, swinging open your door you envisioned the handsome sergeant, but instead stood Loki wearing a smirk. You were aware your expression would have dropped in disappointment.

“Going somewhere Little One?” he chided as he steps into your apartment with 2 cups of hot tea. You shut the door behind him wondering how to explain yourself to him.

“I was going to see him... I want to see him,” you admitted

“He needs some space Little One,” Loki answered taking his cups to your breakfast bar. On top of the table had appeared two plates of smashed avocado and poached egg, oozing a beautiful copper colour through the green it looked perfect. “Come, eat with me. We need to talk.”

You padded back towards the breakfast bar and sat down to begin breakfast with your best friend.

“Do you feel well?” Loki asked watching you closely. A quick flick of his wrist and your pepper shake was in his hand ready to crunch onto his breakfast, he motioned to you and you nodded, he ground the pepper onto your eggs and sat back.

“I don’t know how I feel.” You admitted.

“How do you feel about Barnes?” Loki asked chewing on a full fork of food. He washed it down with a large swig of tea.

You chewed your own breakfast in thought.  
“I’m confused, but I’m not sorry I submit to him.” You decided looking back to Loki

“Good.” He answered simply smiling at you “I’m glad you feel for him as he feels for you.”

“What am I feeling though?” you asked laying down your fork “I don’t know what this is, I don’t know this man.”

“You’re feeling a bond to him Little One, and he’s feeling a bond to you. In Asgard you two would be considered sjelevenn and the city would celebrate you both.”

“What’s a sheleven?” you asked aware you were butchering the pronunciation. Loki smirked

“In English, it means soulmate.”  
You choked on your tea.

“You think me and him are soulmates?!” you sputtered

“No Little One, I _know_ your soulmates.”

You stared at him for a moment trying to decide how to reply. Nothing was coming to mind so you took another swig of tea. Loki was regarding you closely as he chewed on his food.

“You know we’ve talked about this in length already but this is the reaction an Omega deserves Little One, this is how omegas are supposed to be reacted to. You are a rarity and you are special and you deserve someone who knows the privilege of being in your company,” Loki leaned towards you as if you emphasise his point.

“I’m not an Omega though am I?” you muttered sadly “not a proper one,”  
It hurt when he said such complimentary things about your designation when you knew you were incapable of functioning like a proper omega. All these years of being forgotten and overlooked made your heart heavy. It wasn’t that you weren’t nice to look at, you didn’t mind what you saw in the mirror, infact sometimes you even felt pretty when you had put in some effort to your appearance. it was just that you considered your features very... mediocre? Pretty, yes. Eye catching, possibly not. Dates would comment on your eye colour, but really what else could they focus on? You can’t compliment someone on their soft areas of skin without sounding creepy. It was no wonder your courting days had floundered really.

“You know you are Little One.” Loki replied sharply “it’s not your fault these imbeciles can’t see what’s in front of them. Thor could tell, as can I, even Sam knows though he does not yet realise it. Now Barnes knows and I bet you he will be ecstatic when he realises the others have no idea.”

It wasn’t till that fateful day Loki had made you a cup of tea and your friendship formed that you had opened up to discuss your history with your designation. The Asgardian had been outraged to see the other members of the compound walk past you without so much as a flare of their nostrils.

“You think Barnes will still want to bond with me?” you asked quietly, staring down at your leftover breakfast

“I do,” Loki answered softly “and I think you should,”

You looked up at Loki who had placed his hand on yours.

“If it feels right. Little One, you are precious, you deserve a strong Alpha and Barnes is strong enough to keep you safe in this compound.”

“You and I... we’ve never felt this pull to bond have we.” You asked your best friend quietly. He cleared his throat as he squeezed your hand.

“Not like this. Barnes deserves you. He can give you pups.” Loki replied shortly. You sighed.

“You know I can’t have pups Loki. You can’t keep using it as an excuse not to bond with me?”

Loki swallowed hard, he looked as if he was about to reply when an abrupt knock on the door interrupted.

Both of you stared at the door, the knocker rapped again. slowly you stood to answer and padded across the room. Opening the door, a firm chest bowled right past you into your apartment sending you stumbling back a few paces

“What did you do to Bucky?!” Cap fumed in your face, you had never seen him this angry, inches from your face he looked venomous as he stared into your face, trying to read your reactions.

“What? I don’t...” you stuttered

“Don’t lie to me. What did you do!” Cap repeated

“Enough Captain.” Loki barked jumping up to stand between you both, he gently ushered you behind him “we both know she did nothing to Barnes,”

“She’s turned him feral! You’ve done something to him!” Captain fumed

“Just because you have been unable to send someone into an instinctual bond, doesn’t mean foul play is afoot Captain.” Loki retorted. Cap growled in anger.

You didn’t like that they were arguing as if you weren’t in the room, but you were too shocked to speak up for yourself. Trusting Loki to fight your corner you edged to his side, taking hold of his hand he intertwined his fingers with yours. This was your favourite Alpha in this world, and here he was, sticking up for you to bond with another. Another he deemed more suitable for you than himself.

“It’s ridiculous. She doesn’t even have a designation. How can she attract an Alpha like him?!” Cap seethed through his teeth.

This wasn’t the Captain you knew, who you considered a friend. His rage was causing a burning sensation in your sinuses, could there be a worst time to cry in public?

“Of course, she has a designation, you just don’t get the privilege of scenting it Captain.” Loki argued “if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were feeling jealous of someone else attracting Barnes attention.”

Cap growled again closer in Loki’s face

“Have you forgotten you left his affections in the dirt to bond with your beloved?” taunted Loki “or do you have a short term memory?”

Cap had the dignity to blush as he straightened up again.

“She has done something to him, and I need to find out what. He doesn’t deserve to be compromised. Not again.” He spat glaring at you.

“Compromised? Captain you know better than everyone that Barnes is finally free to think for himself. Thanks to you.” Loki retorted

“What’s going on?” Sam’s voice interrupted the room as he stood in the open doorway, brows furrowed as he surveyed the scene.

“She’s done something Sam I’m sure of it.” Cap grunted taking a step away from you and Loki.

Sam frowned as he stepped inside.

“Steve, Poppin hasn’t done anything wrong, if anything we should be protecting her from Barnes. He’s the Alpha. He’s the threat to her.” He reasoned

“Sam, he’s gone and put himself on drugs for her and you’re not the least bit suspicious?” Cap continued to fume

“What drugs?” Loki asked looking between the men

“He’s elected to use pheromone blockers so he is safe to be in the vicinity of Poppin.” Sam explained nodding at you in encouragement.

“Barnes is no threat to Poppin and you all know it.” Loki snapped “they are a bonding pair. Stop interfering.”

“How can they be a bonding pair when she has no designation?” Cap snapped. Loki scoffed loudly

“She has a designation.” Loki barked turning towards Sam “Wilson, have you noticed a difference in her scent since she met Barnes?”

You noticed Sam was staring at you with disbelief written all over his face, slowly he stepped towards you, his nostrils flaring as he scented you. He paused a step away from you, his hands on his knees as he leant as close as he dared taking deep breaths.

“Poppin, you scent of fresh raspberries,” he almost whispered. His face fell in recognition and he looked back at Cap who had crossed his arms over his chest. “I can’t believe it!”

“Believe what?!” snapped Cap

“Pops, are you an Omega?” Sam asked with a delighted smile on his face. “All this time you’ve been an Omega and we didn’t know?!”

“What?!” Cap exclaimed lurching forward, Sam thrust out his arm so he couldn’t reach you.

You flinched back into Loki’s arm as the Captain searched for your scent, Loki gave your hand a squeeze as Caps face slackened and he stepped away from you.

“You’re an Omega.” He repeated Sam in disbelief. “You’re Bucky’s Omega.”


	6. 3rd November

Bucky chewed on his cheek as he travelled down in the elevator to floor 15. His plan was simple; enter your office and apologise for any distress he may have caused on Monday, whilst getting a feel for how you felt about the whole thing.

Perhaps if you were still interested in him as your Alpha he could invite you on a date?  
He could invite you to dinner? Perhaps he could invite you to have a drink with him. Maybe he could invite you to sit with him at film night on Sunday. Possibly you could both could go watch a film on your own? You might like to get used to his company before you both engaged in small talk. Speaking of such, small talk. What on earth was he going to say to you?

Maybe he should kneel in submission to show how unthreatening he was to you now he was on the suppressants. He had taken a few days of hiding in his room to make sure they were definitely in his system before he sort you out. Would you want an Alpha to submit to you? There was a fine line between being assertive and strong and making sure you felt safe around him in this compound. If you felt unsafe, he would need to reiterate he wasn’t going to bite you without consent.

What if you didn’t want him to be your Alpha?

What if the moment had passed and you had no interest in his company? He sighed. That would definitely hurt his heart. First Steve, then you, how many chances at finding a mate would he be allowed?

The elevator doors opened and Bucky felt his stomach drop a few floors. His housekeeper was crying the arms of another man.

Loki was holding Poppin tightly to his chest, he ducked down to kiss on the top of her head as she sobbed.

Knowing the elevator had dinged his arrival into the corridor, Bucky tentatively took the steps to enter the kitchen. Perhaps he could make himself a drink and then disappear to his room. He didn’t want to interrupt your moment together. 

You were faced away from him towards the living room but as he softly padded into the kitchen he acknowledged the Asgardian regarding him with a quipped eyebrow.

“I must return Little One, I’ve already overstayed my welcome and Asgard is in need of my help with the rebuilding. You know how incompetent Thor is with planning,” he explained with a smirk

“But Christmas is in a few weeks and I was so excited to spend it with you,” Poppin answered “this isn’t because I bought up the idea of us bonding again is it?”

Well damn. If that didn’t tell Bucky everything he needed to hear than he wasn’t sure what would. His insides lurched again. He gripped the sides of the kitchen to steady himself. He could feel his heartbeat pulsating in his ears.

“Definitely not, Little One.” Loki answered “How about I go build a house for you to stay in when you come to visit New Asgard?”  
Poppin sniffled quietly as Loki cleared his throat, gaining Bucky’s attention. He dared a look over his right shoulder at them.

Loki visibly took a deep breath and pointedly pointed at the hot water dispenser with his nose whilst mouthing the word “Tea.” Before nodding back to Poppin.

“I would love that,” admitted Poppin “how quickly do you think you could return? The compound isn’t the same without you here,”

Bucky knew he was frowning stupidly, wearing Loki’s patience thin, but he was feeling overwhelmed and the silent instructions didn’t make sense. Loki appeared to realise this as he flicked his wrist a mug appeared under the hot water dispenser with a tea bag, once full of hot water, a carton of almond milk tipped to pour a dollop of milk into the cup and a spoon rapped on Bucky’s right hand knuckles before dunking into the mug to give the tea a swirl.

“Sooner rather than later my love,” Loki soothed still staring at Bucky “how about we pencil on the spring equinox? That should give me some time to get ahead with the rebuilding.”

“I would like that.” Poppin sobbed “I’m going to miss your cups of tea you know. Americans don’t drink hot tea with me, its always you.”

Loki rubbed her back.  
“Little one, I’m sure there will be someone else to make your hot teas when you need them,” Loki soothed staring down at Bucky “just till i return,”

Bucky dropped his gaze to the floor, he would love to make her hot teas. He could make her hot teas until Loki returned..

“Isn’t that right sergeant?” Loki asked raising his voice just a little.   
Bucky felt his insides lurch as he walked over to them with the cup Loki had prepared. Poppin had swivelled around in Loki’s arms and the look of surprise on her face as he placed down the mug was evident.

Bucky tried to smile at her but he was worried it was looking more like a grimace.  
“Thank you Sergeant,” Poppin greeted him quietly, keeping her arm wrapped around Loki, the message appeared loud and clear.

Bucky cleared his throat.  
“I just wanted to apologise for the other day. I hope I didn’t hurt you. I want you to feel safe around me. I promise what happened, wont happen again.” He mumbled trying his best to keep eye contact.

Poppin smiled  
“Thank you Sergeant Barnes, you didn’t hurt me.” She replied shyly. She took a sip of the tea as Bucky cleared his throat and began shuffling back towards the elevator.

“Sergeant?” Poppins voice called back to him. He turned to see her removing herself from Loki.  
“Thank you for the tea, I look forward to the next one.” She smiled gently. He nodded, eager to escape the lovebirds, he disappeared into the elevator as quick as he could.

Negativity bled into his gut once again. He knew Sam would be frustrated with his efforts to talk to her, but he didn’t know how that could have gone any better. She had chosen to be with Loki not him, and he refused to push the detail just because they had a moment this week.

His chest heaved as he closed his apartment door behind him. The space had only been his for a matter of days but it felt like a safe space where he was allowed to let his emotions free. Getting back into his bed he pulled the covers round him, tucking them under his feet like a tight burrito. Taking a deep breath, he let himself cry himself to sleep.


	7. 8th November

"Pops, have you got time for a cuppa?"

Natasha caught you as you entered your office. She was sat at the kitchen table with Steve and Sam. A noticeable member of the Cap Quartet was missing. He hadn’t been seen in the days since Loki went home.

Admittedly you had missed the Sergeant. You had hoped with Loki’s departure it would be the ideal set up for you to get to know one another casually. You hoped you could catch him in the kitchen, maybe join him for a tea break once in a while, but you hadn’t seen hide nor hair of him. You knew he struggled with his mental health, so this wasn’t surprising, but you had hoped with consistency you could be given an opportunity to crack the wall Bucky had built around himself.

"Always," you smiled, walking behind them to make yourself a cuppa tea.

"Pops, when did you last see Bucky?" Sam asked as you stirred your teabag in the hot water. Your brow creases as you thought back.

"Last Wednesday, the 3rd? It was the day Loki left," you confirmed

"And you haven’t seen him even walking around since?" Natasha asked

You shook your head, adding almond milk to your tea.

"He’s completely avoiding the communal areas." She concluded. "He must be ordering meal replacements from the canteen,"

"What happened when you saw him?" Steve asked

"I was saying goodbye to Loki, I didn’t realise he had come to the kitchen if I'm honest, but Bucky had made me a cup of tea and he apologised for the kitchen incident,"

"What did he say?" Steve leaned forward frowning.

"He said he wanted me to feel safe around him, and that the kitchen incident wouldn't happen again," you recited as you sat down at the kitchen table with them "what's happened? Is he okay?"  
Steve sighed 

"He's closed himself down again." He explained "He does this, but we need to keep an eye on him,"

"Does that mean he’s not pursuing Poppin anymore?" Natasha asked 

"It sounds like it, it would explain why he’s avoiding her areas of work," Steve agreed

"Poppin how did Bucky appear to you, his mood, his mental state,"   
You sat back, trying to remember the past week. 

"He was quiet, and he left very quickly after giving me the cup, but guys you're forgetting I know more about him from his case file than I do from interacting with him."

"Why would he stop pursuing Poppin? He was so excited to find you might be true mates?" Sam wondered. 

"You have asked him what's wrong, haven’t you? You're not just speculating without talking to him... right?" You asked

"Of course! He doesn't want to talk about it. Yesterday he wouldn’t open his door and last night his night terrors got super bad, so I let him sleep in," Sam explained

"Have you spoke to his therapist? Do we need to make sure he won’t harm himself?" You asked, Steve shook his head.

"He won’t harm himself. His therapist has said he's making progress, but he’s going through an emotional setback right now,"

"An emotional setback?" You repeated 

"Which makes me think it’s something to do with you... not saying it's your fault, just that Buck gets caught inside his own head," Steve explained 

"I don’t know how it could be me... we haven’t had a full conversation since the kitchen incident," you frowned.

"Unless..." Sam started, the table all turned to look at him "Steve, you and Buck have history, he was really cut up to find out about you and Nat. It's why he was so happy to meet Poppin,"  
"You think it’s my fault?" Steve asked

Nat reached over to hold Steve’s hand.  
"He could be upset about either of you, he’s not good at talking about feelings at the best of times," she placated him.

“You and Bucky have history?” you repeated Sam’s words to Steve, his jaw tensed and a light blush dusted his cheeks as he squeezed Nat’s hand.

“They were wartime lovers,” She explained, Steve cleared his throat awkwardly.

“That’s not funny Nat. We... kissed. Once.” He admitted. The table stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. “It was an in the moment thing. I didn’t tell him how close Nat and I had got, before he stayed in Wakanda. We hadn’t discussed that kiss in 80 years. I didn’t realise he still remembered it.”

“Do you think he regrets coming to the compound?” you asked quietly.

It made sense to you now, that he was hoping to begin a life with Steve, and now that was off the table he wouldn’t know where he stood. Pair that with the kitchen incident and no wonder Bucky was feeling overwhelmed and a little lost. 

“No Pops, he wouldn’t regret it now that he met you,” Sam answered quickly “He was so relieved to have met you, you’re who he’s been hoping for all these years.”

You bit your lip. “I think we are missing some crucial evidence of that. Its locked in apartment 20.” 

“Pops, your scent is evidence enough, we have never been able to distinguish your designation and the day you meet Bucky you’re scenting Omega pheromones like they’re going out of fashion. He is your Alpha there is no doubt about it.” Sam chuckled 

"I was cuddling Loki last week," you mumbled thinking back to that morning "We were talking about me visiting Asgard because I was upset, he was leaving so abruptly. What if Bucky got the wrong idea?"

"That's also plausible. Boys, I think you need to have a serious chat with him." Nat was giving Steve a hard stare. His jaw tensed in reply. "Now. Go wake him up,"

Bucky woke up to sunshine streaming through his open blinds and a knocking on his front door. Another awful night of night terror, he had settled on the sofa just before the sun rose and successfully dozed off.

Opening the door to Sam and Steve wasn’t a surprise, but this late in the day it was. Sam had been to get him for a training session at 5.30am every morning this week, using helping him as an excuse to tighten his own discipline when it came to his routine. 

Training, Shower, Therapy, Solitude was the new normal for Bucky. Today he felt the world on his shoulders. A down day he called them. Sam and Steve sat on his sofa, watching him closely.

"You okay this morning?" Sam asked carefully as Bucky sat at his breakfast bar, palms rubbing his eyes.  
"I didn’t have a good night," he admitted  
"I heard," Sam replied gently. "You wanna do some training this afternoon? Or take it easy today?"  
Bucky nodded, looking at his phone, nearly 10am, time for therapy.  
"I think I'll rest up today." He replied quietly.  
Bucky knew the boys hated to see him when he felt this defeated. They wanted to help, for him to feel better, but how can you help someone so trapped inside their mind they're unable to crawl out the dark?

"So, you think you'll talk to Poppin today?" Sam had his eyebrows raised excitedly "she’s been asking after you, you know, wants to know everything's okay your end."  
"I saw her yesterday in her office," Bucky replied sullenly "she was too busy to notice me,"  
"Is this why you're struggling? Poppin?" Steve asked "or is it me?"

Bucky balked at the question.   
"It’s not your fault Stevie," Bucky explained as he shook his head "I have no right to be upset about you and Nat. It just, it just took me by surprise. You and her. I don’t mean to be awkward about it. I’m happy for you. Just like I’ll be happy for Poppin someday.”

"Wait, why will you be happy for Pops?" Sam was perplexed  
"I almost sabotaged her relationship with Loki," he said looking at Sam "I’m pretty sure they both knew I didn’t come between them on purpose. But still, I could have really ruined their bond.”

"Buck, I promise she’s not with Loki, not like that." Steve leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. Bucky sighed as he stood to pace back and forth in front of his window.  
“Buck, listen to me and listen good. Poppin and Loki are close, but they’re not bonding. I told you he stuck up for you in front of Steve, he’s actively encouraging her to bond with you. He’s literally stepped aside for you!"

Bucky turned to face his friends, chewing his cheek again, he couldn’t stop playing with the metallic taste on his tongue

“They’re _not_ bonding? How can you be sure?” he asked quietly

“Buck, if they were serious about bonding, they’ve had more than enough time to get on with it. Besides, you should have seen her face when I called her your Omega.” Steve reasoned

“How’d you mean?” Bucky asked running a hand down his face. Steve and Sam exchanged a glance.

“Man, I’ve never seen her light up like that for anyone, it was pride Buck. She’s proud to be your Omega.” Sam’s face was serious as he leaned back again “Poppins designation has been radio silent for as long as we’ve known her, then the day you arrive she begins throwing off Omega scent like a damn tsunami. It can’t be coincidence. If Loki was it, he would already be it. He’s not. She submit to you man, I don’t know how else to encourage you to pursue this,”

Bucky sighed as he stared out his window.  
“I don't know what I can offer her,” he admitted “I can’t give her pups, I don’t get pop culture references. I have no hobbies aside from training and therapy. She doesn’t deserve this mess for a mate. I don’t feel good enough.”

Sam stood to place his hand on Bucky’s shoulder, comforting but firm.“She will be up to date with what’s going on with you. She gets given everyone’s files when they move in so she knows whose room to leave alone." He reasoned.

"Give her a chance to get to know you. Focus on what you can offer her, not what you can’t. So, what you can’t have pups together. Steve and Nat cant either. It don’t mean you're not her true mate. Doesn’t mean you can’t be there for her and build a life together. As for the pop culture problem, first Steve is gonna let you to borrow his list, next you’re gonna pick a hobby and practise it, and lastly start joining film nights on Sundays instead of hiding in here."

Bucky nodded looking glum.

“No rush Buck, but we will be here, ready to help you when you are.”


	8. 18th November

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has stuck through the doom and gloom. All assumptions should be squashed by now so we are free to let the fluff commence!

Bucky cleared his throat nervously as he stood next to Sam in the elevator. Sam was watching him with a small smile on his features.  
"Buck, you got this." He soothed "just take a seat on the couch, I'll bring you a beer and when its finished you're free to go back to your room."  
Bucky turned to him.  
"I don’t want to spend thanksgiving in my room," he sighed turning back to the front of the elevator "I just don’t know if I'm ready to socialise."  
Sam clapped a hand on his shoulder   
"Course you are, just sit on the couch and let everyone come to you one by one,"

Bucky knew this was long overdue. He had been hiding in his room for weeks now, unable to muster the courage to leave his apartment. Even when Steve and Sam came to intervene the week before last, it wasn’t quite enough to raise his confidence in spending time in the communal areas, he worried if someone spoke to him, he wouldn't have anything to say in the conversation and make the person become uncomfortable. As the days wore on, his nervousness became worse, but he couldn't allow Thanksgiving to pass like the other days, sitting in his room with the blinds closed. His psychotherapist had given him a challenge, to leave his room for the duration it took him to finish a drink. She had stated he could down a glass of water, but he would be required do it in the kitchen.

The elevator doors opened up to the living room bustling with laughter, loud voices and music playing around the kitchen table, his eyes immediately fell on Poppin, stood by the stove next to Bruce as he stirred a large saucepan with gusto. Steve and Natasha were stood at the large kitchen table opening a bottle of wine, giggling together. Poppin caught his eye, as he and Sam stepped out the elevator. She gave him a shy smile as Nat tried to pass her a glass of wine. Nat followed her line of sight and smirked, giving him an eyebrow wiggle as Poppin turned to swipe the glass from her. Did Poppin always look this cute on her days off? Usually she was in work clothes, her hair tidy with an apron on, she looked professional. Today she wore slippers, comfy leggings and an oversized jumper with her hair pulled up and away from her face where it bunched in places looking messy but adorable. This suited her. He made a note to spend some more time walking about on the weekends.

"You wanna go sit down?" Sam asked quietly, Bucky knew he was tensing his jaw as he shook his head and walked up to the kitchen table towards Steve, Nat, Bruce and Poppin.  
He wasn’t sure what hurt most, the genuine smiles he got or the looks of surprise they had replaced. He exhaled and held up a hand in greeting.

"Good to see you Sergeant," Poppin was the first to speak, fixing a lid to the pot as Banner returned to sit at the table. "I hope you're hungry?"  
"What have you got over there?" He asked trying to peer into the saucepan  
"The best darn mash potato you've ever tasted!" She replied with a cheeky grin.

Sam approached him with a beer as Bruce and Steve raised theirs to him in a toast  
"Good to see you Buck, glad you could make it," Steve recited gently, he gave him a warm smile, helping Bucky confidence lift a little higher.  
"I can’t miss my first thanksgiving in 80 years can I?" He smiled back awkwardly as a timer beeped at him.

Poppin jumped into action as she opened the oven, fanning the steam away as she looked down inside "Beautiful, give it half hour to sit and we will be ready to eat! Steve, you're up," she passed him the oven gloves.

Steve bent down to extract the most beautifully cooked turkey Bucky had ever seen. Sitting it onto a cutting board, Steve took a step back as it began to leak its juices into the wood. Bucky swallowed at the smell before realising he hadn’t yet taken any notice of the spread that was sitting on the table in front of him. 

Bowls of sauces were nestled between the 6 placemats, from where he sat, he could see cranberry, apple, horseradish and mint. A larger bowl on top of tea light heater hosted multiple balls of stuffing, another hosted cocktail sausage wrapped in bacon. Others plates sat empty, reserving space for, what he could only assume would be vegetables.

"Pops is our designated chef during holiday roast season," Sam explained to Bucky   
"Not because of my cooking may I add, Sam does the seasoning," Poppin called out "I just have the best culinary timekeeping,"  
Poppin had turned back to the stove, pouring the tray of turkey juices into a saucepan she began to make a gravy.

Bucky smiled and sat down tentatively next to Bruce. This is what he had imagined being in the compound to be like, good friends living together, working together and keeping each other company. He had missed this, the little interactions of a household. In Wakanda he had been taken in by the elders and locals, and had felt included at the time, but he knew he couldn't have stayed forever. It stopped him from embracing it fully, always feeling a little outcast. This, this could be long term.

"How have you been getting on since I last saw you?" The gentle voice of Banner interrupted his train of thought.  
Bucky forced a smile his way in reply, he didn’t really know how to articulate the past few weeks.  
"It’s a process." Bruce smiled, pausing for a moment "you know, if you ever fancy a walk, come hangout in the lab, you're always welcome,"   
"Thank you, Bruce. I appreciate it," Bucky answered with a genuine smile.

He hadn’t realised when he arrived that Bruce had only joined the compound a month before after the battle for earth. Out of everyone who was in the compound, Bruce was actually someone he had a lot in common with, he understood not only how to transition after a long period of absence, he understood how to live with an alternative personality and still cope well enough to be a functioning member of society if he wished.

Poppin and Nat were milling about, taking trays out the oven, and transferring the contents to large serving bowls, one by one they made their way to the table.

Banners Mashed Potato, Parsnips, Carrots, Broccoli, Green Beans and a Cauliflower Cheese made its way to the table along with a plate of little puddings, consisting of a crunchy shell and a greasy inside were stacked high in a pyramid.  
"What is this?" Bucky asked pointing at the pile.  
"Those are Yorkshire Puddings," Poppin explained with a smile "a delicacy in the UK. I recommend filling the inside with gravy and letting it soak, I eat mine last because they're my favourite,"  
Bucky nodded, returning her smile to her as she sat opposite him between Natasha and Sam.

Cap delivered a now chopped up turkey to the table and took his place on Bucky’s left.  
"Grace! Eat up everyone!"  
Everyone raised their glasses to toast.

Bucky couldn't remember the last time he felt this full, this happy, this sleepy. After joining Steve in returning to an additional 2 portions, the leftovers were minimal as he and Sam set them aside into the fridge before loading the dishwasher and joining the others on the couches with a fresh beer.

A parade was being shown on the television, it seemed to be easy viewing for everyone who had become sluggish and cosy thanks to their food comas. As a giant pig floated down the street Bucky became aware of Sam's right arm lounging lazily on Poppins seat behind her, the display of Alpha authority on someone he considered his Omega stirred up feelings of... something. Something he didn’t want to entertain right now. In a bid to close that door he refocused on the room to find Nat watching him whilst she drank from her glass of wine. He smiled at her trying to play off the tension he was feeling.

"Hey Wilson, what's this I hear about you meeting an Omega twice in a row?" She smirked round the side of Poppin as the conversation quieted. Poppin was also smirking at Sam who grinned back wiggling his eyebrows.  
"His names Leon," he shared his smile round the room "maybe if he sees me a third time, I'll invite him up here to meet ya'll, join in a film night or something."   
The group rose their glasses to cheers again, Nat caught Bucky’s eye and winked. This time he gave her a genuine smile and a subtle nod.

It didn’t take long for Bucky’s eyes to feel heavy as he laid back in the sofa, his 5th beer in his hand he nursed it slowly, impossible for him to get intoxicated thanks to the soldier serum but he was enjoying the taste. A snore interrupted the moment, looking around the room, Steve was asleep, leaning against Nat who herself was blinking far more often than usual. Poppin was asleep tucked up under Sam's arm, who was the cause of the snoring, resting his head on hers. Bruce had long returned to the lab to continue working. This seemed like the right time to retire, he knew he would have a social hangover tomorrow, he made a note to make a canteen order to get food delivered, not that he could stomach the idea of eating anything right now.

Quietly he got up, waving at Nat as he hobbled towards the elevators   
"I'm gonna turn in," he muttered   
"Thanks for coming today," she smiled  
"I enjoyed it," his answered quietly.  
"Will we see you again soon?" She asked, he paused his steps and turned to her.  
"I hope so,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Admittedly I've never attended a Thanksgiving so I hope my food research was accurate.
> 
> Also, if anyone finds the food joke I slipped onto the table then 10 points to you!


	9. 3rd December

Bucky stretched back, feeling his shoulders crack slightly after a long week.

"Excellent start Bucky, you deserve a break over the weekend," his tutor smiled at him, he returned it as he said his goodbyes, shutting the door to the meeting room behind him. 

Breathing a sigh of relief that it was Friday evening, He felt exhaustion, satisfaction and pride, all rolling around together in his chest.

He was ready to go get his comfy clothes on and pop a film on his tv to try to sleep to.

This week had been his first week with Katie, his History Tutor. He had realised at Thanksgiving that he was struggling with feeling disconnected to the other residents, and had sat Sam and Steve down to help brainstorm ideas on how he was to find common ground with everyone. Everyone mostly being Poppin more than any of the others, but that was left unsaid. 

It had taken them half an hour of throwing suggestions of what hobby he should take up before Natasha had returned to her apartment she shared with Steve.

"So let me get this straight, you want common ground, a hobby to invest your spare time into, and to know everything we know, so you can identify references we talk about." Nat had perched herself on the arm of the sofa next to Steve.

All three boys nodded.

"Have you considered getting a History Tutor?" She suggested "not just for the political side of things, have them show you media and fashion as well," 

The boys had all frozen at her suggestion.

"That... might just work?" Sam finally replied.

And it felt like it was working, so far. He was only a week in, but he felt like a spark had ignited. He was enjoying the productivity of learning and proud of his achievements so far. He was sure this was the right way to build his confidence when talking to Poppin.

Katie had arrived at the Compound on Monday afternoon and they had set up a study space in one of the smaller meeting rooms. She had asked his motivation to study modern history and he had explained a partial of his back story. Katie had nodded, then looked back through the notes in the folder she had bought with her.

"When exactly did you lose track of time?" She had asked gently.

"I was captured during World War Two," Bucky had replied.

"How about we begin there then? Let's start from the beginning."

And they had, he had been learning about the timeline of the build-up into the Second World War this week. Next week he would begin learning about the Holocaust. He didn't remember enjoying learning this much when he was in school, though admittedly back then he had spent most of this time in the boxing ring avoiding classes.

Walking down the corridor to the elevators back to the living quarters, Bucky suddenly remembered the invitation Bruce had given him at Thanksgiving to drop by the lab sometime. Surely this time was as good as any? 

He took a left and continued deeper into the compound. Entering the large laboratory, he scanned the room, Bruce was in the corner typing, he did a double take as he recognised Bucky, he gestured to him to sit opposite him. 

"Sergeant Barnes," Bruce greeted him with a smile turning away from his computer "It’s nice of you to visit, how’re you doing?”

"Better thank you. How about yourself?" Bucky took a look around the busy lab, he made a mental note that he didn’t want to touch anything least he broke it.

"Same as always Sergeant, you know how it is. What can I do for you? Or is this a social call?" He asked gently 

"Oh no, this is social, taking you up on your offer to drop by on Thanksgiving." Bucky smiled "I won’t keep you long, I'm headed back to the apartments after this."

"What’ve you got there? Bruce asked gesturing to the book and notebook he held in his hands. 

Bucky had also looked down at the books in his arm,

"Oh, it's a text on the Second World War," he explained lifting the notebook off the front cover for him to see. He smiled shyly at him. 

"Interesting! How come you're reading up on that?" Bruce asked genuinely interested, 

Bucky shuffled his feet under his chair and cleared his throat, feeling a blush was creeping up his cheeks.

"I've uh.. I've begun History classes," he admitted looking back to his feet.

"History classes?" Bruce repeated

"Yeah, I uh, I got a tutor. To fill in the gaps. We decided to begin at the last time I went by the name Bucky Barnes," 

He exhaled in a little display of frustration. 

"That's awesome." Bruce answered "Good for you man," 

Bucky looked up at him, trying to decide if he was joking, or worse, lying to help him feel better. Unfortunately for him Bruce was being his usual supportive self. 

"I was expecting you to laugh at me," he admitted, 

"Why would I laugh at you?" Bruce asked seriously, 

"Bruce, I'm 103, with a history tutor,"

"I think its admirable," replied Bruce shrugging, Bucky caught his eye, he was smiling. 

"That you haven’t given up and let yourself just, sit here redundant. You're adapting, always overcoming a new challenge thrown your way. And this time, you're making a choice for the benefit of you, no one else," 

"I hadn’t thought of it like that." He mumbled. "It’s not just for me though."

Bucky hesitated, taking another look around the lab.

"Has this something to do with Poppin?" Bruce asked. Bucky chewed on his cheek as he nodded slowly. 

"I just thought, if I had more in common with her, we could get to know each other easier. Hold better conversations." Bucky replied feeling embarrassed again. 

"Bucky, you have no problems holding conversations, you have problems with your confidence in holding conversations," Bruce acknowledged leaning back in his chair. 

Bucky nodded again. This time with a little chuckle ghosting over his features. 

"Poppin will benefit from these classes but only because you're benefitting from the classes. It's good to see you so happy," Bruce praised "Have you spoke to Poppin recently?"

Bucky shook his head.

"I don’t... I'm not good at this. I don't know if we will be bonding at this rate."

Bruce considered his reply.  
"Just, embrace your time together. Whatever happens." He paused in thought "you know, what happened between you two in the kitchen, that intensity of connection doesn’t happen every day. I've had misgivings about giving you those suppressants. Perhaps I shouldn't have got involved. Let your instincts get on with it."

Bucky chewed in his cheek again.

"I'm happy to take them." He concluded. "The way I see it, if she is my mate this gives us the chance to build some foundations. I've got a lot of baggage to share, she deserves time to decide whether she wants to take it on or leave it be. I don’t want her to feel like she has to talk to me because what happened in the kitchen." Bucky admitted.

Bruce hummed in response.  
"You know, us Omegas are a pretty open book when we find the right Alpha. Do you know what you can do to find out how she feels about you?"

Bucky leant forward shaking his head. His brow had creased and his jaw tensed. He felt like Bruce was taking hours to reply with this very important insight into his True Mates designation.

Bruce chuckled.  
"Give her a hug. She will show you all you need to know."  



	10. 17th December

"So you can see, lots of volume and movement. Very similar to the 1940s." Katie pointed back to the reference picture of a woman in the 1940s with her pen. Bucky followed her pen as it tapped on the picture of the woman's hair styled upwards with victory curls and a graceful wave upon the top.

"Perhaps finish this chapter over Christmas. When we come back after New Year we can begin the 1960s if you like?" He nodded as he felt Katie's fingers curl around his right forearm for the third time this lesson. Feeling uncomfortable he cleared his throat and slid his arm out of her grasp, letting it settle instead on his leg out of her way.

She didn’t react. Just as she hadn’t reacted the previous times.

He didn’t want to make a fuss, but Katie had become very touchy in their time together. 'Busy hands' Sam would say. Bucky didn’t want to be negative about it, he was happy she wasn’t scared of being in his presence. But something about her lack of boundaries with him was alarming. Bucky had tried to think back to the last time he had been touched like this and the answer didn’t make him happy. Affectionate touches he would call them, but he didn’t want them. Not for him, not from her. His therapist had told him he was touch starved once, something he had accepted into his personality traits to work on. He wanted to touch others without hurting them, and so far, slowly he was building up his confidence with Sam and Steve. Hand shakes, elbow nudges and fist bumps were all included in his training to desensitize him. One day, he could take Bruce's advice to hold Poppin like he did that day he went primal. See how she reacted and gauge if there was still a connection. No fear, no repercussions. Just holding the one he loved most. Well. If he and Poppin got that far. 

"Bucky, you've zoned out again," Katie's voice ripped back through his train of thought as she squeezed his shoulder. He flinched at the pressure and she drew her hand away.

"Sorry," he mumbled a little embarrassed.

"What's on your mind?" She asked, tilting her head to the side. "Any progress with your housekeeper?"

"Oh uh, not yet. Just said hi in passing a few times." He murmured "I'm still not sure what to say to her,"

Katie scoffed, reminding him of Steve.

"She still hasn’t presented to you? Bucky, babe. She is not the Omega for you. You can do so much better." 

Bucky turned to his tutor. She was swivelled in her seat facing him with a stern look upon her features.

"You deserve an Omega that appreciates you. That wants your pups. That can give you pups. Didn’t you say she cant even do that?" She asked frowning more. 

Bucky had thought Katie to be quite pretty that first week they had begun tutoring. She was still, but she frowned a lot. Her features hardened. When she smiled it rarely reached her eyes. And she was very opinionated. Especially about Poppin, which confused him because she was constantly asking more about her. As soon as he admitted he was doing this for an Omega she had latched onto the detail and refused to let go.

"We don’t know. Its not important, we don’t think I can either..." he stumbled to defend Poppin

"Course you can, you just need the right mate." Katie cut over him sharply. "You deserve an Omega who knows her place. That will serve you and appreciate you."

She was leaning closer. He could smell her strawberry scent engulf him. Her hand landed roughly on his thigh, giving it a squeeze. Bucky nodded in panic as his phone vibrated. A text from Steve appeared on his screen, he opened it as he jumped up from the table, smacking her arm on the underside as he rose so suddenly.

"I've got to go. Emergency. Meeting." He grunted grabbing his textbooks and fleeing from the room.

"See you after Christmas Alpha!" Katie called from behind him.

Bucky closed down the Falcon meme Steve had sent him and stormed down the corridors, scattering beta SHIELD agents in the corridors as he got to the elevators. Getting inside he pressed in his clearance code for the residents floor and sighed as the doors closed.

Should he speak to Steve about this? He didn’t want to cause trouble. He wasn’t sure he was ready to meet a new tutor. _Better the devil you know_ he thought. No. He wouldn’t make a fuss. He had a full 2 weeks off now for the Christmas holidays. That would be enough time for Katie to cool off and relax a little. In the mean time he could spend some time with the others and hopefully make some progress with Poppin. 

Reaching his apartment Bucky cursed loudly, patting his pockets down he realised he had lost his key card to his room. He threw his head back hoping he hadn’t left it in the classroom. He really didn’t want to go back down there right now. Perhaps he had just left it behind in his room this morning. Perhaps it was in the dish next to the door. Growling he realised he would need to go downstairs to ask Poppin to let him in. He didn’t want to see her whilst he was feeling this stressed.

"Buck," a voice interrupted his tantrum. Steve was exiting his room, his brows frowned as he looked at him in concern "What's happened to you?"

Bucky shuffled his feet.

"I'm locked out my room." He ran his hands through his hair as he stared at the floor.

"You stink. Who the hell has scented you?" Steve asked leaning in to scent his shoulder. Bucky jerked back from him.

"It's Katie." Bucky answered him quietly.

"Your tutor? She has scent you?" Steve's eyes were narrowing.

"She wont stop." Bucky mumbled.

"You didn’t consent to her?" Steve asked looking more and more angry.

"She just... touches a lot." 

"Bucky. Are you okay with that behaviour?" Steve asked bluntly. Bucky looked at him, knowing his shoulders were slumping in defeat. He shook his head. 

"I can’t upset her Steve, if I get a complaint on my record... Fury will never let me out of this compound again. I hoped with a Christmas break she would have time to cool off." He admitted.

Bucky felt shame pouring over him. Why had he been incapable of stopping her? This whole situation was embarrassing enough without Steve finding out and getting involved. As if he heard Bucky’s train of thought, Steve stepped back with a resigned sigh.

"Come on Buck, let's get your key card from downstairs. We're gonna fix this tutor problem." He clapped Bucky firmly on the shoulder as they turned around to head towards the elevators.

"Excuse me, Poppin?" Steve knocked on the door to her office as she organised a large canvas bag of post into the resident’s personal shelves.  
"Could I request some assistance?"

"Of course you can," she beamed as Steve closed the door behind him and Bucky. Bucky frowned at him. Why had he shut the door? Poppin was also looking slightly confused.

"Sit down Buck." Steve gestured to a small sofa Poppin had opposite her desk. Bucky stared from the sofa to Steve. He tentatively sat down.

"Poppin, I need you to scent Bucky." Steve recited simply. Bucky shot off the sofa as though electrocuted. 

No no no no. This was NOT how he wanted today to go. He didn’t want Poppin involved in his problem. It was bad enough being shut in her office stinking of Katie, never mind her having to put this right. He knew not even showering would lift the scent of fake strawberry.

"I beg your pardon?" She responded looking from Bucky to Steve and back again.

Steve shuffled his feet but didn’t flinch.  
“Steve. No.” Bucky managed to choke out.

"Buck, you stink like strawberry bubblegum and not the good type. Poppin can fix this and calm you down." 

"Steve. No. _Not like this_." Bucky spat out the words through gritted teeth. 

"With all good intentions Steve, Barnes can be scented by whoever he wishes. If he wishes to smell of strawberry flavouring that's his prerogative. " 

Poppin had taken a step away from him. She looked upset. _No_. She was taking this the wrong way! What on earth could she be thinking about this situation? Steve had just shut him in here stinking of another Omega. And now he was refusing her help. He watched Steve falter for a moment.

"Sit down Buck." He repeated before softening his features for Poppin. Bucky sat back down feeling utterly defeated. His head in his hands he stared at the floor. What a failure of an Alpha he was. Unable to even put an Omega in their place, he now needed the Omega he was terrified to get to know to fix it. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Steve was right, as usual. He needed calming down and a new scent. Poppin would be the best candidate in the compound by a mile.

"Pops, Bucky has been taking history lessons." 

"I heard. Nat told me." Poppin replied stiffly. Bucky could practically hear her arms crossed in front of her.

"His tutor keeps scenting him. He cant tell her to stop incase she makes a complaint about him. Fury will write him out. After Christmas I'll be terminating her contract, but right now, he needs your scent to calm down."

"Why not yours?" Poppin challenged "you and Sam could tag team this, pull him out his funk." 

"You're his Omega." Steve replied simply.

"It sounds like he has a new one," Poppin snapped back. Bucky whimpered. This was not a conversation he wanted to hear. He wanted to be back safe in his apartment.

"He doesn't want her." Steve spoke pointedly. Poppin faltered for a moment as comprehension dawned on her.

"She’s scenting without your consent Sergeant?" Her words were laced with disgust as Bucky saw Poppins knee rest on the floor in between his feet as she knelt down in front of him. Gently, she rest her palms on the sides of his knees.

He didn’t know how to react. He felt overwhelmed, his thoughts all fuzzy and his chest tight but her voice and her warm touch was penetrating him. Slowly he nodded, lifting his head from his hands to look up into her eyes. Her features were full of concern. Damn. Her eyes were a pretty colour when she was angry. She was the opposite of Katie in every way, expression radiating from her eyes told him how exactly what she was feeling.

"Are you happy for me to scent you?" She lowered her voice as if she didn’t want Steve to hear.

Bucky nodded again as she growled at the floor away from him. He had never heard Poppin growl before, he wasn’t sure if he was flustered because he enjoyed it or it made him even more uncomfortable.

"You say you're terminating her contract?" She asked Steve curtly.

"As soon as the new year begins." He answered. Poppin grunted in reply.

"Could you please excuse us Steve?”

Bucky watched Steve shut the office door behind him as Poppin stood from the floor. She climbed onto him, her knees now straddling his hips on her small sofa. Smiling down to him, she wrapped her arms around the back of his head and pulled him into the crook of her neck. She sighed happily as she began to rub her cheek against the side of his hairline whilst her hand ran up and down his back, warming him.

Bucky gulped down the scent of peppermint, wild rose's, and fresh plums in summer. His head swam in delight as she purred in his ear, leaving little kisses on his temple. He felt his eyes closing as he relaxed into contentment, more so than he had felt for months.

Is this how a True Mate could make him feel? Could he feel relaxed and happy all the time if they mated? He imagined waking up from a night sharing a bed with her and how good he might feel. Butterflies in his belly and a warming in his chest. Was she feeling this way too?

She was rocking him back and forth like a pup as he slowly wrapped his arms around her waist, keeping her pressed flush to him. This. This was the hug Bruce had recommended to him. One that left nothing to the imagination with regards to her feelings for him. She wasn’t just scenting him because she was asked to. She was protecting him. Calming him. Caring for him like the Omega she was. Bucky hadn’t spent much time with a serious Omega, but he thought Poppin was particularly talented. She swapped sides and scented his other temple. Purring into his ear, giving him goosebumps. He didn’t know how long they sat there together but honestly; he didn’t care. The off-strawberry scent had dissipated in Poppins company, now he could only scent her. She was delicious.

Bucky felt a warm hand gently move from his back to cup his cheek as a nose nuzzled his. He purred as he opened his eyes, sleepily he found himself nose to nose with his housekeeper. Now his stress had evaporated he was left with exhaustion settled into his muscle and bones. Poppin was gazing straight back into his, a contented smile on her face helping Bucky assume she was feeling as comfortable as he was. She was purring as she leant further down to kiss his temple.

She whispered into his ear with a cheeky smirk on her face.

“My Alpha.”

Bucky slowly shuffled to his apartment with a physical key Poppin had given him once they had detached from each other. Groaning internally he remembered he would need to resheet his bed before he could climb into it. The nightmares were just as bad as they had been before he was treated in Wakanda, something he had been assured would slowly pass with therapy and time. What bothered him most right now about them was that he was waking up each morning drenched in sweat, rolling about in soggy sheets. He had been sending them down to laundry to receive a fresh set each day, but it meant he had to get up and attempt to nap on his sofa once the bed was stripped before the new sheets would arrive hours later. 

Closing his door behind him this evening he paused, sniffing his space and looking around. Not only had his bed been remade for him, something that hadn’t been done before, on top of his folded back duvet was another set of sheets with a little note set on top 

"A spare set for inbetween x" 

A faint hint of peppermint hung about his bed. 


	11. 17th December #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since we checked in with how you feel about everything.  
> Terrified I'll accidentally make Poppin into a Mary Sue, please give me feedback if shes being too boring! X

Poppins eyes glossed over as she stared into the fridge.

"Pops, middle shelf. Right in front of you." Nat guided your line of sight till you found the bottle of wine you wanted. "Everything okay?"   
"Mhmm." Turning to her, you shut the fridge door, biting your lip in thought.  
"Nat. Do you think I should present to Bucky?" You asked abruptly. Nat considered the options in her head. She shrugged when she reached her decision.

"I think you should do what you want. You'll end up bonded with him anyway."   
She was watching your reaction.  
"You think?"  
"Pops, I know." Nat smirked from your sofa.  
"How can you know?" You questioned. Nat looked sideways.  
"For one, you rubbed your scent all over him an hour ago. All I can scent on you is Bucky Barnes."

You snorted as laughter and pride bubbled up and out of you. You pulled up your pyjama top to sniff.  
"You should scent my uniform. I've put it straight into the laundry."  
"Second," Nat continued "your Alpha may be slow at his progress but he’s adamant at what path he’s on." She grinned at you.

You dug around in your cutlery draw for your corkscrew.  
"I don’t know how you can be so sure." You admitted quietly.  
"I don’t know why you let insecurity get inside your pretty head." Nat answered.  
"Says the Omega with a bond more secure than concrete." You grumbled twisting the screw into the top of your bottle "remind me, why didn’t we buy the screwcap wine?"

Nat giggled.  
"If I remember rightly we were drunk ordering the food shop and we thought it would be more classy... Pops, you remember how I felt before Steve and I went to Europe. I followed my Alpha to get his Alpha back. I knew they couldn’t bond but it didn’t look like he was interested in bonding with me either. It's only now I see it worked out how it was meant to, when it was meant too."  
You nodded a tense smile on your face.

Nat was right. Not only did she know exactly how you were feeling as an Omega, but when she had a hunch on something it nearly always came to pass. A wave of appreciation for your best girlfriend passed through you. For her patience, and kindness and never-ending support, especially when you were feeling insecure. She would always prop you up. Never showing how exasperated she could feel with you. When you had moved into the compound, you had hoped to make connections to others, but you had never hoped in your wildest dreams to meet someone like Natasha Romanoff. She had introduced herself on the first day, never making assumptions about your lack of scent and never asking questions until you felt more comfortable about bringing it up. She was probably to blame for the amount of alcohol you consumed after penning girl’s night in the diary every Friday. It was usually your night to escape the boys, watch what you wanted on tv and have a good catch up whilst emptying a bottle between you.

"I just feel." You paused trying to get your words to align. "I feel like I had accepted I was never going to bond with anyone. Like, it was off the table. But then I met Bucky, and then it was back on the table. And now, we are months later and it's now being dangled in front of me on the other side of the room where I can see it but I'm not allowed to touch it. You know?"

Nat nodded.  
"I know." She answered as the cork finally gave out the bottle with a pop.  
"It is Christmas next week, there will be plenty of situations where you two can hang out and spend time together. It’ll be like Thanksgiving again."  
You reached up for 2 wine glasses from your cupboard, bringing them over to your coffee table with the bottle.   
"I'd like that." You admitted. Pouring you both a glass of rose there was a sharp knock on your door.

Nat frowned as she watched you open your door to Sam.  
"Hey Omegas!" He greeted you both with a large smile as he bowled into your apartment clutching a crate of beers.  
"What are you doing?" You asked suspiciously. You shut the door behind him and made your way back to the sofa where Nat had poured her own glass.

"I'm coming to join you," he answered as he flopped onto the floor, he began to pick at his crate.  
"Wilson, this is girls’ night. That's why we are in Poppins apartment." Nat told him sternly.  
Sam managed to free a can of beer. He clicked it open and smirked.  
"Why you being like that? I just wanna spend time with you girls. Can’t do that if you're hiding away."

"We have one night a week away from you and Steve." Nat reminded him.   
Sam rolled his eyes. “Nat, I’ve been on mission all week! I missed you and this is how to repay me?”  
"This wouldn't have anything to do with what happened earlier?"  
Sam had the sense to look confused.  
"What happened earlier?" He asked  
Nat scoffed.  
"Are you telling me you don’t know about Poppin scenting Barnes?" Nat asked with a smirk.  
Sam's face drained in shock.  
"You can’t be serious. Is that what the scent is?" He asked turning around to stare at you. "What the hell Pops! When were you gonna tell me?"

You felt a little sheepish as you swirled your wine around your glass. You had enjoyed the privacy of your office with Bucky. It had taken extreme effort on your part to step away from him and open your office door to face Steve again. You had returned back to the sofa to be near Bucky, but once Steve had re-entered your office the bubble had popped. Bucky had retreated back into himself. He had let go of the hand he had entwined with his own and thanked you before he retreated back to his room with a key you had given to him. Now the memory of your time together felt valuable to you. You didn’t want to forget how it felt to hold him and you weren't sure you were ready to share that feeling.

"It’s only been an hour Sam! Give me space!" You joked as another knock on your door interrupted your line of thought.

"Okay, there are only 3 other people that can be and none of them are girls." Nat grumbled as you opened the door to Steve. "Steve, you're not a girl."  
Steve stepped over your threshold.  
"Sam's not a girl! Why am I being left out?" He argued throwing an arm out in Sam's direction.  
You closed the door behind him.  
"Where is Banner and Bucky?" Nat asked.  
"Would you like some wine Steve?" You asked as you returned to the sofa.

"Banners working, Bucky passed out. Can I have a beer?" Steve smiled as he sat on the floor leaning against Nat’s side of the sofa. She pulled up her legs so he was able lean against the sofa cushions. Sam passed him one of his beers. "Thank you, Pops. For earlier I mean. I really appreciate you helping calm Bucky. I asked FRIDAY, she said Bucky fell asleep within 7 minutes of getting into his apartment. I haven't seen him that relaxed in... possibly ever?"

"Hold up, why did Pops scent Bucky?" Sam asked.  
"Bucky’s tutor has been scenting him without his consent." Steve grumbled in anger. "Apparently it's been getting worse each lesson but he was too scared to say anything incase she complained to Fury."  
"What a bitch." Sam exclaimed in outrage. "What happened to the tutor?"

"Nothing yet." Steve grunted. "But she will be gone in the new year. She won’t be so happy to near the vicinity of an Alpha when I'm done with her."  
"When _we_ are done with her." Prompted Nat placing her hair on his shoulder and squeezing some of his rage away. Steve patted her hand as he glared at the floor.

Sam turned to you. "How'd it feel Pops. You happy?"   
You nodded hiding your smile in your glass.  
"Come on, give me the gossip." Sam teased; a big grin spread over his face. "Think you've got closer to bonding?"  
"I... I'm not sure about that." You admitted quietly. "I hope so."  
"Pops, Bucky practically floated back upstairs, if this doesn’t boost his confidence around you then I don’t know what will." Steve added  
"You know we could interfere a little more..." Sam suggested  
"No." You, Nat and Steve chorused together. Sam looked downtrodden.  
"Bucky’s got to make this happen by himself if he wants a strong, secure bond." Nat confirmed.

"How much stronger they got to be after going feral in the kitchen. Seriously Pops, I'll hide his suppressants, push him in your room and lock him in. Job done. Bing Bang Boom. Pups for you." Sam grinned. You snorted into your glass.  
"I appreciate the effort but I'll wait it out a little longer." You confirmed with a smile. "How’s it going with your Omega?"  
"Pretty good, we haven’t had a chance to talk this week what with me being away... he’s gone upstate for the holidays but hopefully we can catch up again next week." Sam blushed. He quieted down giving you the que to change the subject.

"How about we move this girl’s night to the living area, I've got some pizzas in the fridge & there’s enough blankets for all of us?" You suggested.  
The others murmured agreements and gathered their cans, glasses and bottle.

You got into your bed that night, wrapping the duvet around both your sides and tucked under your feet like a burrito. Sighing in contentment the scent of stewed apples and cinnamon filled your nostrils as you cuddled into yourself, picturing Bucky Barnes sharing the space with you. Just a bit longer. A little more patience. And one night, he might just be under your duvet with you.


	12. 23rd December

The day before Christmas Eve you emerged from your room at 5am ready to start the day. A calm had taken over the compound. A last-minute mission had taken away most of the team, leaving you at home with a lone Bucky Barnes who wasn’t quite ready for the field yet. All false beliefs of having a quiet day before everyone returned for Christmas were out the window as soon as you realised Steve, Nat, Sam and Bruce had all put their sheets into the laundry at the same time so they could come home to a fresh bed.  


Walking down the corridor towards the elevator a whiff of something bitter caught your attention. A scent you couldn't quite place. It made you pause in the corridor with your nose in the air for a moment, before continuing to your office for the apron you had left behind the night before.  
As you tied the apron around your waist a flash of green caught your eye. A Christmas tree had appeared in the corner of the living room, extra-large but still tied up and naked of decoration. You made a note to pop to the shops for supplies.

In the laundry room you collected the bags for the wash together and laid out each bag with a fresh set of sheets. Piling them onto your trolley you made you way back to floor 16. 

As soon as the elevator doors reopened the scent from before hit you in the face, assaulting your nostrils. Fear was permeating down the corridor, and it was coupled up with a scream from the door at the end.

Abandoning your trolley you ran to the door smacking it loudly with your fist.  
"BARNES, OPEN THE DOOR!" you shouted feeling frantic  
"BARNES, CAN YOU HEAR ME?" Another scream replied to you as you fumbled in your apron for your master key.

After surveying the dark room and letting your eyes adjust you could see Bucky in his bed on the other side of the apartment.  
"Barnes?" You asked uncertainly crossing the room. He was still asleep, a cry left him and you realised he had become wrapped in his top sheet, it was constricting his metal arm and his legs, his flesh arm was clutching his mattress with white knuckles. You’d heard somewhere you shouldn't wake someone in a nightmare, and you’d read you definitely shouldn't try to touch Bucky Barnes... but as you called his name again it was apparent he wasn’t going to wake without an intervention.

Sitting on the edge of his bed you gently rested your palms onto his shoulders knowing his metal arm was out of order. You hoped this would help ground him back into reality.   
"Barnes, you are safe, you are okay." You soothed as gently as possible.

It didn’t take a second for Barnes to wake up in shock by unexpectedly pushing you both into a seated embrace. Slowly you began rubbing his back with both hands aiming to calm the large expanse of his muscle whilst he muzzled into your neck and shoulder, taking deep breathes and rubbing his face along your scent gland in a bid to calm himself. As you were still lacking confidence in your scenting abilities, you willed yourself to melt into him and encouraged him to relax into you. Slowly his shoulders slumped into your arms and you pulled away to look him in the face.

"What can I do to help?" You asked softly, your noses nearly touching. His eyes were a bright blue, blazing into yours.  
"Hold me." He replied quietly, it wasn’t a question, but it wasn’t an order either, so you leant back in and nuzzled his neck as he did to you.

It wasn’t clear how long you both sat there holding one another, but when Bucky finally gave a large sigh you knew he was on the right path again.   
"I'm sorry for coming in here uninvited." You admitted quietly “Are you feeling better?"  
"Yes, thank you." He answered gently, it was then he realised he couldn't move his left arm. You retracted from him and helped unwind the top sheet so he could be freed.  


"I'm about to go make some breakfast, would you like to join me?" You asked as you reached the door, you were pretty sure he would want some time alone but as it was just the 2 of you for a few days he would have plenty of time to be alone when you went back to work. Now seemed like a good opportunity to get to know him.  
"Um... yeah.. what're you making?" He asked as he detangled his legs and swung them over the side of his bed  
"Have you ever had a full English?" You asked, he shook his head.  
"Fancy giving one a try?"   
He nodded, a little smile graced his face and he looked 10 years younger.  
"How do you prefer your eggs?" You asked   
"I'll have them however you have yours please." he replied, you smiled warmly.  
"I'll meet you in the kitchen in about 20 minutes." You confirmed as you shut his door behind you. 

Making your way to the kitchen you found eggs, sausages, bacon, beans, mushrooms and tomato. Even some hash browns in the freezer.  
One by one they met the frying pan to sizzle away. Granted this wasn’t the most healthy or nutritious breakfast, but it was hearty and comforting and though you wouldn't admit it, you suspected both of you could do with some of that, the sun hadn’t even risen properly yet and this day felt like it should be halfway done already. 

Bucky arrived as you were laying out cutlery on the table, your plates already nearly full you were waiting for your toast to pop before you could serve up your scrambled eggs.  
"There’s coffee in the pot, ready to pour." You advised piling the eggs onto both your plates.  
Bucky passed behind you,   
"Would you prefer a cup of tea?" He asked as he retrieved two mugs from the cupboard.  
"Yes please." He poured himself a coffee before finding a teabag for you, he filled the mug with hot water and gave it a little stir as it soaked. He went to the fridge and bought the milk out.

"So you really are British huh?" He asked with a shy smirk as he poured a dollop of milk, giving yours another stir to check the colour.  
"I used to be.. I was born here but we lived over there for a long time. Does my accent not give it away?" You asked bringing over your plates "that and I get the names of things wrong all the time."  
You both settled down at the table and began to tuck in.  
"What do you mean?" He asked   
"Oh, lifts are elevators, pavements are sidewalks, crisps are chips. Lots of little differences." You explained  
"Suspenders are braces, right?" He answered "and you say peckish instead of hungry."   
You laughed as he tried to put on the accent.  
"I don’t know anyone who wears braces anymore but yes your right, how’d you learn that?"  
"Germany, met a lot of British dudes." He grunted as he took a big bite of sausage.  
You nodded, no wonder his information was outdated.

"This is delicious by the way." He complimented   
"Hits the spot doesn’t it." You agreed taking a swig of tea. "You're not a big breakfast person? I don’t see you down here very often."  
"I'm not a big morning person." He admitted "well... I'm not a big sleep at night person... as you've seen. But I'm working on it."  
You smiled at him.  
"The compound isn’t known for its sleepers," You replied as he nodded.  
"So do you miss Britain?" He asked, you hadn’t been expecting him to be this talkative.  
"Not really, there’s nothing for me over there anymore. Saying that I enjoy listening to Visions accent, and the Asgardians bring some nostalgia with them when they visit."  
"I haven't really taken the time to meet them properly yet." Bucky admitted.  
"They're a good bunch, very inclusive when you get to know them." You paused "Loki has his moments, but you two have more in common than you'd expect. He doesn’t always get the warmest reception here... so he used to read in my office whilst I worked. We call it Book Club."  
You smiled fondly "You'd be welcome to join us, we're always open to new members."  
"How about a breakfast club, do you have one of those?" He asked with a shy smile  
"Oh you mean Grub Club? Yes, that’s been established since this morning." You returned his smile as he relieved you of your plate and took the dirty dishes to the sink.

"Do you know there is a dishwasher in the corner?" You asked  
"I do, Steve showed me how to use it, I just enjoy the old way. Gives my hands something to do." He explained as you finished your drink. You thought for a moment, it seemed a shame to let him close up again as this breakfast quickly came to a close.

  
"How are you with a needle and thread?" You asked looking at the folded up Christmas tree  
"I'm passable I guess," he admitted "what did you need fixing?"  
"Oh nothing fixed, I was planning to thread together Christmas tree decorations after my shift, I should be back here about 4pm if you’d like to join in?"  
"I'd like that." He replied drying his hands on a tea towel. He smiled shyly "thank you for this morning. I appreciate your time, and cooking."  
"I appreciate being appreciated, thanks for doing the dishes." You smiled as you popped your apron back on, ready to return to the trolley you had abandoned the floor above.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I havent disrupted your journey having Poppin live in the UK for a while, it's more to cover myself because I'm concerned some of my word choices (and spelling) may be conflicting to yours at times. I'd like to think her accent is whatever you want it to be. Maybe with an occasional twang.
> 
> X


	13. 23rd December #2

Bucky watched the clock as it neared to 4pm, at 3.50pm he had enough of watching the seconds tick by and made his way downstairs to the kitchen.

Poppin was in her office removing her coat. He sat down at the kitchen table in front of a bag. He tried to see the contents inside.  
"Hello Poppin," he greeted with a smile, feeling brave enough to use her nickname.  
"You have colour in your cheeks Sergeant!" She exclaimed excitedly approaching the table with a box of Christmas lights, she must have dug them out from a previous year.

"Have you had a good day?" She asked pleasantly   
He felt his cheeks get pinker  
"I had a really deep sleep when I got back to my room, haven't had a nap like that in a while," he admitted "might be that I need to get up for breakfast more often."  
She grinned in surprise   
"I'm excited my breakfast resulted in an adequate food coma for you to get some shut eye." She giggled watching him scope out the bag "have a look in the bag if you like,"

Bucky emptied the bag of its contents, laying it out on the table  
"Would you care to join me for root vegetables with gnocchi, chicken and bacon with balsamic glaze for dinner? It's my guilty winter warmer," she asked him, he nodded picking up the other items one by one   
"Yes please. What is this?"  
"We've got popcorn and cranberries for the tree and ingredients to make ginger bread men. I thought maybe tomorrow when the team was home we could all bake and decorate some gingerbread to get into the holiday spirit."

He picked up the bag of cranberries wondering how you could get these into the tree.  
"You want to hang these on the tree?"  
She giggled again as she pulled a cutting board and a large bowl over to the table with a sharp knife and a peeler. She started cutting the Brussel sprouts in half and passed the peeler to Bucky as she began throwing the greens in the bowl. Pushing the parsnips and carrots towards him he took the initiative and began peeling them, handing them back to her to chop up and join the sprouts.  
"Almost, I'll show you when dinners ready."  
He hummed in contentment.  
"Oh that reminds me!" Poppin shot up and took a tray out the oven he hadn’t realised had been in there "Perfect!"  
She turned around for him to see large round slices of orange, all dried out on the baking sheet.  
"What’re you gonna do with those?" He asked passing over his last carrot.  
"We are going to tie some ribbon round them and hang them from the tree too!" She exclaimed excitedly leaving them in the corner to cool as she returned for the vegetables.

Taking the bowl she drizzled some oil and seasoning and gave it a stir, before laying them all out on a baking sheet and putting it into the oven with a couple of chicken breast. She came to sit back down with a bag Bucky hadn’t yet noticed, she removed a bobbin of red cotton thread, a pair of scissors and a pack of needles. He looked at them quizzically as she removed 2 needles and cut a length of thread, passing them over the table to him.

"I'm going to give you a needle and thread and we will thread the cranberries and popcorn in lengths and drape them on the tree like tinsel." She explained "Trust me they look great when they're on, it's like disposable decorations, we can put them in the bin when were done with them."  
He nodded amused   
"I trust you," he laughed as he began knotting the end of his thread.

He chose popcorn whilst she chose cranberries, and they threaded as they chatted about their day until the timer for the oven rang and she paused to pan fry the bacon lardons and gnocchi before mixing it with the chicken, roasted vegetables and a moderate flourish of balsamic glaze. Bucky was typing a knot at the end of his first thread when a bowl was set in front of him with a fork  
"I have a theory that food tastes better from a bowl." Poppin grinned as she sat down with her own bowl, discarding her own thread. She watched as Bucky took his first few bites, he nodded in appreciation, pointing to the bowl with his fork.  
"Guilty winter warmer, I like it." He exclaimed  
"Again, probably not the most nutritious, but definitely one of the most comforting when the days are as dark as this." She confirmed

The scent of the roast lamb Sunday dinner his Mother used to cook hit him in the face as he chewed on a carrot. When was the last time he had eaten his Mother’s cooking? The late 1930s? Why on earth would bacon and chicken remind him of his favourite lamb dish?  
"Is there rosemary in this?" He asked  
Your face scrunched a little as you remembered what you used in the seasoning. Cute, he thought briefly.  
"No, I don’t think so... why?" She asked   
"No reason, just thought I could smell it." He admitted. 

"Thank you Poppin, for today. For treating me like a friend." He didn’t look at her as he spoke, a little embarrassed.  
He could feel her eyes on him as she finished her mouthful. A foreign name left her mouth and he looked up at her.  
"It may be a shock but Mary Poppins isn’t my real name. It's my Tonyism. As we are officially friends now, you deserve to know." She explained with a gentle smile. He mulled over this new name of hers in his head. Pretty, it suited her.  
"I'd say Mary Poppins suits you still. It’s a reference I actually recognise, my sisters read the books." He replied causing her to chuckle.  
"Well you're welcome to call me whichever you deem most appropriate." She replied, a light blush filled her cheeks as they finished the rest of their meals in comfortable silence. 

When they were done they moved to the large couch in the living area, taking their bowls of popcorn and cranberries with them, a Christmas film he didn’t know the name of was on the television and it kept a consistent background noise as he continued threading.

He watched Poppin take her scissors to cut off the plastic surrounding the Christmas tree to let the branches relax and settle into place, before working on detangling the lights she had bought over from the table. He enjoyed watching her expressions when she was deep in concentration. He leant back into the comfy cushions.  
Tomorrow would be fun, when the team returned and they could help decorate the tree with us, he thought. It had been so long since he had been free to celebrate holidays with a group of loved ones. There was plenty of things he didn’t understand in this new time zone, but this? It felt familiar. He could do this.

Opening his eyes he hadn’t realised he had let them shut, the room was quiet and dark. The sun yet to rise from outside and the tv had shut off meant the only light was beaming from the Christmas tree, which was twinkling a golden colour across the room. When had Poppin managed to drape them on? The woman in question was asleep on the couch next to him, wrapped in a blanket on her side she looked so comfortable, he didn’t want to disturb her. On the back of the sofa near his head was another blanket, with no intention of returning to his room and leaving her alone here, he wrapped it round himself and laid back down, allowing himself to drift off again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sitting waiting for the British government to tell me I have to stop mobile hairdressing for the next month in a 2nd lockdown, so thought you may enjoy this little chapter. I have another ready for you tomorrow as usual.
> 
> A benefit of not being allowed to work will mean I have more hours in the day to work on this! #silverlining


	14. 24th December

You were incredibly warm, and incredibly cosy. The scent of the Christmas tree wafted over to you, grounding you down into your surroundings.

Opening your eyes slowly, you blinked a few times to clear your bleary vision. In front of you was a dim view of the back of the couch. Oh yes. Last night you had exhausted yourself messing around with the tangled Christmas tree lights. You had been ready for bed, only to see Bucky already asleep on the couch. Not wanting him to wake up in the living room alone, you had turned off the tv and settled down on the couch yourself under a blanket.

The blanket itself was still around you, it felt heavy, but soothing this morning. If only it could reach a little higher, your nose had become cold this morning in contrast to the rest of you which was feeling heated and relaxed.

A soft snore above your ear gave you pause in your train of thought.

Why was it so warm this morning? The heating wouldn’t be on this early in the day. You tried to turn onto your other side but your blanket was too heavy. Why was the blanket so heavy? Managing to turn around to look over your left shoulder you were met with a sleeping wall of Bucky Barnes snuggled against you. His metal arm draped across your ribs he was inadvertently holding you down against him. You slowly moved your head to look forward again, you didn’t want to wake him up.

Sergeant Barnes was cuddling. Cuddling _you_. Cuddling you on the couches in the living area.  
Finally. _Finally?_ That was your first thought? This Alpha, potentially your Alpha, had been actively avoiding you for 2 months. Now he was pressed up against you and your first thought was _finally?_ Omega, where had your standards disappeared too. A different heat ran through you as your stomach began to somersault at the thought of your Alpha being so close. 

His legs were bent up under yours fitting together perfectly like puzzle pieces. Of course, you two would fit together so well.

Perhaps this was the turning point you had been hoping for. This could be the moment he stepped up as your Alpha, you could step up as his Omega, and together you could enjoy the feelings you felt in the kitchen on that first day. Everyday. 

Breathing in deep the smell of fresh pine was strong, but this definitely wasn’t the Christmas tree as you'd first imagined, this was Bucky. He was delicious.

A grunt from above and a flinch of your cuddle buddy signalled he had woken up. He became very still. Every part of him had tensed. You also stilled. 

He sighed, and you felt him melt back into you. His metal arm brought the blanket up higher for you, making sure you were tucked in. You wondered if you imagined a kiss on the top of your head as you began to doze.

When you woke again, the sun had risen but Bucky was still laying behind you. His light snores behind you were music to your ears. After the previous morning you were contented that he had had a half decent sleep. Would it be too cheeky to cuddle him back? Perhaps just a little interaction wouldn’t scare him away... he was already wrapped around you, wasn’t he? It was a good indication that he wanted to get closer. 

Turning around into him was a delicate transition, as you tried to avoid waking him up. 

Rotating 180° you snaked an arm underneath his vibranium limb and shuffled down a little so you were clear to nuzzle into his neck, breathing in his scent.

You purred in contentment. This. This was what you wanted. For as long as you could remember you had hoped for your own Alpha to shower with affection, honestly Sam and Loki had been worthy substitutes for the time, but this felt so completely different. So _right_. Your skin was tingling, not just because of his body heat but it appeared because of his general closeness. Your stomach was doing somersaults as you nuzzled happily into his stubble, letting it scratch at your nose. A rumble came from within his chest as he purred back at you in return. 

Bucky woke abruptly, flinching so hard he jerked backwards and fell from the edge of the sofa onto the floor with a smack.

"Barnes, are you okay?" You asked jumping up in to a sitting position. He scrambled up and out from under his blanket and sat back on the other side of the couch, breathing hard as he stared at you like you'd just pushed him off yourself.

"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to." He gasped 

"Didn’t mean to what?" You asked completely nonplussed. You began to stand but Bucky shifted back again so you sat back down, hands up in surrender.

"You were shivering," he admitted, answering a question you hadn’t planned on asking.

"Barnes, I appreciate you taking care of me," you replied carefully. You wondered if you imagined his body tensing at the implication that he was acting the Alpha.

The roar of engines overhead signalled the arrival of the quinjet returning with Steve, Nat, Sam and Bruce making Bucky snap out of his daze and edge away again. You watched him chew on his cheek before he stormed away to the stairs, he wrenched the door open and you heard him running up the concrete. 

You grunted with disappointment. Damnit. You hoped he was okay. Would this affect his recovery? Had you just taken him back a few steps? Was it selfish to want to cuddle him? What if he began hiding in his bedroom again? You wouldn’t forgive yourself. Maybe you should tell his therapist. No, you’d tell Steve or Sam. They would know what to do.

Dread made a home in your chest as you guilt tripped yourself whilst pressing the button to boil the hot water machine. You placed down a mug for a hot drink.

The elevator whirled behind you, it dinged the arrival of Sam.

"Good morning," You greeted him with what you hoped to be a neutral expression. "Coffee?" 

"No thanks Pops, just wondered if you had eaten yet?" He replied wrapping himself around you. He would usually seek you out after a mission before going to bed. As the team had arrived back so early, they would all shower and eat before sleeping till midday to get their body clocks back.

"Not yet, would you like me to get some eggs and bacon on? What about the others?"

Sam took a half step back, his nostrils flaring as he scent you, his brow frowned a little.

"Everything okay?" You asked

"Yeah yeah, all good." Sam's eyes flicked around the living area before he stepped back in and rewrapped himself around you. Was he scenting your panic or your Alpha? Sam wasnt stupid, he could tell when you were stressed a mile away. He was also too familiar with Bucky to let that slide. He could definitely smell Bucky’s scent all over you, the question was if he could figure out how it had happened.

"Eggs and Bacon sound good." He replied nuzzling into your hairline. "Have you seen Bucky whilst we've been away?"

"Oh, yes. He was down here, he just left to go upstairs but he needs breakfast too... perhaps you could talk to him?" You bit your lip, feeling more guilty for avoiding some of the key details from this morning.

Sam hummed.

"Give me 20 minutes, I'll shower and get the others downstairs. Make extra bacon."

He called the elevator. As the door opened, he stepped in and turned around.

"Hey Poppin." He called, you turned as the doors began to close "I'm gonna find out why you stink of Bucky Barnes."

The door closed on your horrified expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for kind messages regarding our 4 week lockdown here in the UK. I'm happy to be taking a break from work as I visit peoples houses to do their hair and honestly I havent been very comfortable doing it with everything going on but being self employed is not a great position to be in right now.
> 
> Alas, it is what it is. Hopefully the next 4 weeks will reign in our atrocious infection rate, and if not, the government will have the balls to keep us locked down over christmas. (The tactics of the UK government are a rant for another day.)
> 
> Just want to say, thank you for reading this silly little story that is really keeping me focused this year 😊


	15. 24th December #2

James Stupid Barnes. 

That would be more apt than Buchanan at this point. Bucky growled as he paced back and forth in his apartment. Frustration rolled around his limbs making him fidget.

Why had he bolted upstairs? His Omega was sat _right there_. She had been _holding_ him. Just as he wanted. And instead of embracing her. Holding her. Getting closer to her. He had bolted. _Stupid_.

Could he go back down? Would Poppin accept him back? Maybe he had blown it now. Surely she would forgive him if he went down sooner rather than later? Or had he used his last chance? He should really go back and apologise. Maybe she would find another Alpha. Maybe she would reject him now. Maybe she would move out the compound and disappear into the sunset. No. That wasn’t an option. She couldn't leave him. He needed to fix this.

"Open up Barnes." Sam commanded as his door was pummelled on from outside.

Bucky had barely unlatched the door before Sam bowled in. Bucky felt his heart leap up into his throat.

"What the hell are you playing at?" Sam demanded as Bucky backtracked away for him. 

"I'm sorry. I don’t know why I did it. Is she okay?" Bucky knew he was babbling. 

Sam's facade slipped into confusion as he acknowledged the state Bucky was in. His hands rose as his shoulders slumped in a placating manner, much like Poppins had just a few minutes ago.

"Woah bud! I'm joking! What's wrong?" 

"Sam. I’m stupid. I left her." Bucky ran both hands through his hair as he continued to stomp around his apartment.

"Left who?"

"Poppin!"

"You left Poppin?" Sam struggled to understand his babbling.

"She’s downstairs."

"I know she’s downstairs, I've just been with her."

"You saw her?"

"Buck, Poppin is fine, what's the matter?" 

Bucky paused as his brain caught up. Sam wasn’t mad at him, Sam was concerned. Poppin was fine, he said. So, he wasn’t concerned about her. He was concerned about him. Bucky took deep breaths as he sat on his couch. Sam came to sit next to him.

"Poppins okay?" He asked quietly.

"She’s fine Buck. Asked me to come get you down for breakfast with everyone else. What I want to know is what happened for you to have her scent all over you, and why are you up here in a state about it?" Sam replied with the tiniest of smirks threatening his features. Bucky swallowed hard.

"We... cuddled last night." He mumbled. Before he had finished his sentence, Sam had shot up from the couch in exhilaration. 

"I KNEW IT." Sam pointed in his face with the largest grin he had ever worn "you two be scenting each other on a weekly basis now or what? You scent her up good man. Good work!" Sam sat back down, patting Bucky on the knee.

"I think I've messed it up." Bucky admitted sadly.  
Sam was confused.  
"What makes you think that."

"I woke up, and she was cuddling me, and I didn’t know what to do. So, I ran back up here." Bucky explained. He hid his head in his hands. "So damn stupid Sam. What's wrong with me?" 

"She was cuddling you? That's good though right? How’d you leave it with her?" Sam asked

"I didn’t. I just came here without explaining myself." Bucky sighed and leant back. "Sam, I'm gonna blow this chance with Poppin. She deserves an Alpha. And I seem incapable of acting like it."

Sam sat back, mirroring Bucky. He paused for a moment, he appeared to be organising his words.  
"You're not incapable Buck, at all." 

Bucky waited for him to continue.

"But Poppin deserves consistency. She deserves a strong bond. You give her security and she will give you companionship. We will all help you achieve that, but it's down to you to make it happen." 

Sam looked sidewise at Bucky who nodded in agreement.   
"I hear you." 

Sam slapped his thighs as he stood.  
"Good. Get back downstairs and cuddle her. Ask to spend today with her doing her Christmas preparation. She'll love that. You've got 10 minutes before I come down after my shower and rub my scent on her instead."

Bucky also stood as Sam made his way towards the door.  
"You think she will accept me?" He asked sheepishly.

Sam smirked.  
"I don’t mean to get old school Alpha, but if you cuddled all night consider that Omega preheated and ready to cook."

  
Poppin had her back to him as the elevator doors opened. Bacon was sizzling next to a boiling pot of water. Eggs were lined up in a row ready to be poached or scrambled in with cut up vegetables. Bucky could hear her spoon tinkle inside her mug, but she didn’t acknowledge his steps as he strode towards her. 

_Consistency. Strong bond. Security. Companionship._

_Consistency. Strong bond. Security. Companionship._

His blood boiled as he heard it thumping through his ears, dulling down that sense. Every other sense felt heightened as he watched her turn around as he approached. He paused before her. She was looking him up and down.

"Are you okay?" She asked timidly, Bucky could see her eyes were a little pinker and puffier than when he had left. Had she been crying? He didn’t want her to be upset on account of him.

He slowly reached for her drink, prising the mug from her grasp and setting it gently onto the countertop behind her. In another move he enclosed his arms around her tightly as he pulled her flush to his chest. She stumbled slightly but relaxed back into him as his nose nuzzled her hairline.

"Barnes?" Her hands rested on his hips lightly. Bucky steeled himself to avoid flinching under her touch.

"Poppin, I shouldn't have left." He murmured. 

"You returned." She wrapped her arms around his waist, nuzzling her cheek against his chest. Her touch warmed him from within. She breathed in deep, melting against him.

Bucky rubbed his jawline against her hair. He knew she already scent of him, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted to really drive home the idea that she was his Omega. He felt himself relax into her like jelly.

"I shouldn't have pushed you. I'm sorry if I stressed you." She continued. 

"You didn’t." Bucky replied quickly. "I stress myself. You did nothing wrong." He smiled against her head as he placed a kiss on top of it. He wondered if he really just felt her quake underneath him.

"Poppin. Would you mind if I spend today with you?"

His Housekeeper had pulled away to beam at him, filling his stomach with butterflies again as the others arrived for their breakfast. Following the team filling themselves with bacon and eggs, Bucky had helped Poppin load the dishwasher as the others went to bed for the rest of the morning.

They had made a batch of ginger bread together, the little men sitting on the side to cool as a food shop was cleared to be delivered to the kitchen. Bucky and Poppin had tried to fit the entire Christmas week delivery into the fridge, freezer and cupboards, and had failed spectacularly, even with an additional freezer and drinks fridge in a utility room, they simply didn’t have fridge space for tomorrows meal and other perishables for the rest of the week. They had then backtracked and had to search for everything they would need for Christmas Day to sit on the kitchen table. Just as they stood debating what to do Sam arrived back downstairs and vegetable prep for the next day began, which helped organise the load.

It hadn’t taken long, once Steve and Nat had reappeared downstairs to complete decorating the tree together, then in the early evening Poppin set up the living area coffee table into a gingerbread man dressing room. Tubes and bowls of sugar in every colour were dotted around the pile of naked gingerbread men stacked in the middle of the table. Everyone was given a plate to work on, the brief was “a self portrait” and the designing competition commenced. Bruce appeared shortly after to join in, and they all ordered a Chinese take away. Apparently, a Christmas Eve tradition was to not cook dinner to make up for the massive meal they would prepare tomorrow. 

Bucky wasn’t just happy, he was contented. Sat next to Poppin on the couch, Nat had chosen a Christmas film for them all to watch. Poppin had wasted no time making hot drinks and dispersing blankets for everyone. The sugar had run out before all the ginger bread men were completed so the undecorated ones became an accompaniment to their drinks. It was getting later as Poppin snuggled in against Bucky’s arm, he considered raising it to drape around her, but her own hand had snaked underneath and she held him back as he tried to move. Perhaps he wasn’t the only one who preferred getting to know each other under a little privacy. Pulling the blanket up a little for extra cover she smiled at him as she intertwined her fingers in his flesh hand. Unbeknownst to the others in the room. Bucky smiled back as she rested her head on his shoulder. 

_Yes_. He thought. _Consistency. Strong bond. Security. Companionship._

If he could have days like today with her every day, she may well be his mate by the new year.


	16. 25th December

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to a double whammy weekend!
> 
> It feels a little weird posting a Christmas themed chapter in November but I guess even a broken clock is right twice a day.  
> To get the job done, I figured I'd post both chapters 16 and 17 today to get the show on the road, but also because I'm really appreciative you've taken the time to read this :) thank you.

You woke to the automated voice of FRIDAY reverberating around the darkness of your apartment.

_Falcon requests your presence in the Living Quarters as soon as possible._

Groaning, you rolled over to check your phone on your bedside table. 8am, December 25th.  
"Falcon. Seriously Sam?" You grumbled.  
  
In the grand scheme of things this could be considered a lay in to Sam Wilson. The man descended into a festive fuelled chaos every year demanding everyone be up bright and early to open their stockings. The stockings in question had been stored in your office, and Sam didn’t have patience nor a key in order to get hold of them.  
  
Rolling onto your back, you laid for a moment staring at the ceiling. Christmas Day. You smiled sadly.  
Christmas Day was always a day that reminded you of who was not around anymore.  
  
You thought of your family, although they were few and far between now both your parents had passed. You thought of your childhood best friend who was still across the ocean. She had sent you a card made by her pups again this year, you wondered how their day was getting on.  
  
You thought of the previous residents of the compound. Tony and Pepper who had recently had a pup of their own. Rhodey. Happy. Vision and Wanda. Clint and Scott had never settled in full time but they had visited more often than others and always felt like they had been there a lifetime. You thought of them celebrating with their families.  
  
Most of all you thought of Loki, would Asgard celebrate Christmas this year? How was he getting on? It had been two weeks since you had been able to catch up with him, and it was weighing heavier on your heart than usual. You wanted to tell him about the past few weeks with Bucky and how you were getting closer. It didn’t seem much, but it would help you feel like he hadn’t left for the wrong reason.  
  
You thought of Bucky. Threading decorations with him. Cuddles on the Couch. The look in his eye when he came back. Baking gingerbread. And the secret hand holding last night.  
  
He had stormed towards you with a determination you had not seen before. It didn't take a genius to figure out Sam had said something that had resonated with him, but you were curious as to what it was to solicit that reaction.  
  
A happier smile playing on your lips as you rolled yourself out of bed. On your sofa was a new, clean pair of fitted flannel pyjamas. Neatly folded, waiting for today to begin. You got them on with your slippers. Brushed your teeth and washed your face, you massaged moisturiser into your skin before fixing your hair away from your face. Leaving your apartment as swiftly as possible you power walked down the corridor.  
  
"There you are!" Sam was stood with his hands on his hips as you exited the elevator. It appeared you were the last one here, Bruce, Steve, Nat and Bucky were sat around the kitchen table. They wished you a Merry Christmas as you turned to the right and used your master key to open up your office.  
  
"Merry Christmas Falcon," you rolled your eyes. "Would it hurt you to let us sleep in till 9?"  
  
"And waste the day?" Sam looked offended as he passed into your office "Pops, you wound me."  
Following you into your office, he took hold of a stocking in each hand and passed them to you. Sam smirked, knowing how grumpy you were before your cup of tea in the morning. He loaded up his own arms with the other four and followed you back out the office, guiding you to the couch where you both popped the stockings down. Bruce, Nat and Steve were migrating towards the couch.  
  
Turning straight around to the kitchen you had no intention in pretending to take part in civil conversation yet. As you reached the hot water dispenser Bucky was stood in the way, he smiled sleepily as he slid a full mug over to you. The colour of the tea just how you liked it.  
  
He was still in his lounge wear, a t shirt and sweat pants with his hair tied back in a low bun. Was he always this good looking in the mornings? You refrained from staring too hard.  
  
"Did you sleep well?" You asked, his eyes looked tired this morning. You wondered if you had matching dark shadows.  
  
"Well enough, not as smoothly as the night before." he replied, gently pulling a cup of black coffee towards him.  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that," you took a step towards him, your arms outstretched, aiming to wrap around his waist in embrace. He flinched back a step, staring at your hands. You pulled them back in towards you in submission.  
"I'm sorry," you both blurted out at the same time.  
Bucky huffed as he turned towards the kitchen counter.  
"I'm out of practise," he grumbled closing his eyes "I don’t... Its not you."  
You felt one foot edge a step forward, instincts taking over again.  
You took your time, padding behind him, where you gently wrapped both arms around his waist until your cheek settled against his large expanse of back. His hand held onto your arms.  
  
You could feel every breath he was taking get slower as he relaxed into you. You waited patiently for him to turn into you. Knowing he would eventually.  
When he did, he wrapped both arms around your shoulders tightly, caging your head against him. He nuzzled into your hair. He gave a very quiet purr, not enough for the others to hear, but enough for you to feel deep within his chest.  
"You're very patient with me," he mumbled  
"Will you hurry up Barnes?! PDA isn’t allowed in the kitchen on Christmas." Sam called from the couches. You chuckled against Bucky’s chest, feeling more energised from being in his company.  
  
When the two of you arrived at the couch, your stockings were delivered to you. Sam pulled a large soft package out of Bucky’s stocking, it was wrapped on brown paper and tied with a red string. He passed to Bucky.  
"You got to open this one first." He demanded "brown paper is from Pops so you know it’s gonna be good."  
  
Bucky gave you a sideways glance as he effortlessly broke the string. You frowned, watching people struggle to unknot it was part of the fun. Bucky tore at the package to see a flash of deep blue flannel fabric. He held it up confused, before looking round the room.  
"They're pyjamas." Sam explained. He had stood, dropped his sweat pants and was pulling on his own pyjama bottoms in deep red.  
"Matching Christmas pyjamas. They're kind of a new tradition we've started." You added with a smug smile.

Around the room, the others were getting theirs on. Nat’s were also red to match her hair, Bruce’s were green to match yours, though you had Loki in mind when you chose them. Steve's were blue like Bucky’s, but you had chosen Steve's for his uniform and Bucky’s for his eyes. As you returned to look at Bucky you found him topless, opening up the top. He caught your eye as you felt your cheeks burn a little. Today was already too much as far as he was concerned. Now that everyone matched your outfit you grinned. This was starting to feel like a family Christmas.  
  
The next few hours were spent opening stockings together. You were delighted with your new diary with a day per page for optimum to-do lists from Steve and Nat. Bruce had replaced your favourite candle and Sam had replaced your phone charging chord as you had requested but also added in a new jumper and a pack of the thickest socks you’d ever seen. At the very bottom of your stocking, under extra chocolates and the classic clementine was a cube wrapped in paper unlike the others. You unwrapped it slowly to find a mug, an uppercase P on one side and a lowercase p on the other side. You smiled, P for Poppin.  
  
Bucky was smiling at you with a blush in his cheeks.  
"Merry Christmas Poppin."  
"How did you know I dropped my last mug?" You asked, tempted to wrap your arms around him again you remembered this morning and decided to instead lay a hand gently on his forearm.  
"The boys gave me the recommendation." He admitted. "Do you like it?"  
"I love it. Thank you, Barnes." You beamed as he enveloped you under his arm, nuzzling your hair a little. You felt warm and cosy pressed into his chest.

“Oh, that’s not all Pops, check out your jumper.” Sam smirked

You held up the jumper Sam had gifted you. It was a thick, navy blue material. You liked the shape and the feel of it, it felt soft but not itchy. Bucky snorted next to you. Turning he was retrieving his own from next to him. He held it up next to yours, aside from the size difference, your jumpers were both identical.

“Sam. Did you get us matching jumpers?” you asked, Bucky was laughing as he shook his head. You enjoyed hearing Bucky laugh; his voice felt like music to your ears.  
“I did. And I want you both to wear them today.” Sam replied with glee.

"Pops, there is something here for you?" Nat called across the room, she was stood by the tree next to a large box.

"What is it?" You asked.  
"To Mary Poppins, thank you for your hard work this year. Love, the Starks x" Steve read the label.  
"We don’t get gifts from the Starks!" Sam grumbled. "Why do you get gifts from them?"  
"I mean, technically they pay for me to be here," you admitted remembering that first interview. Over 2 years ago but you could not remember life before.  
"Open it Pops!" Nat urged you.  
  
Ripping the paper to pieces you were met with a picture of a little chimney on legs, with a roasting fire inside.  
"It’s a Chiminea?" You declared, a little confused at Tony's choice.  
"I beg your pardon?" Steve answered  
"Like, an outdoor fireplace." You explained "I guess its for me to keep warm."  
"But Pops, you don’t sit outdoors." Sam smirked.  
"Well yeah, because I get cold. Now I can!" You replied smiling happily. You knew exactly where this would go.  
  
"Speaking of outdoors, shall we go for a walk before dinner?" Steve asked the room.  
"I don’t think we will want to move very much afterwards." Bruce offered "any suggestions on where to go?"  
"Nat and I found a nature reserve last weekend, it's not far. There were lots of dogs being walked." You suggested. Everyone was beginning to stand, talking amongst themselves.  
"I'll drive." Sam raised his hand  
  
Bucky hadn’t moved from the couch. He was staring at his knees, his hands clasped in front of him.  
Slowly you approached, bending down in front of him like you had in your office you placed your hands on his thighs.  
"You coming for a walk?" You asked quietly, aware the others had quieted. Bucky raised his head to catch your eye.  
"I don't think I have clearance to leave the compound." He mumbled.  
"Buck, its Christmas Day. I'll clear the clearance. Let's get some fresh air." Steve clapped him on the shoulder.  
  
You held out your hand with a smile, he grasped it as he stood.  
  
"Plan of Action Everyone change out your pyjamas. Meet back here in 15 minutes." Steve commanded as you all made your ways back to the elevators. "Wrap up warm. It’s due to snow today.”


	17. 25th December #2

Poppin placed a tray of hot drinks down on the coffee table. She sat down next to Bucky, passing him his coffee.   
  
Sat on the couches, the tv and the Christmas tree were the only lights illuminating the seating area as everyone struggled with the amount of food they had just eaten. Once again, the holiday spread had delighted Bucky. Now however, he felt bloated and uncomfortable. He needed to remember there was no longer a depression. Food was not scarce. No one was controlling his diet anymore. He was allowed to eat what he wanted, when he wanted. He didn’t need to get into competition with Steve and gobble up all the leftovers if he didn’t need to.  
  
"I hope you've seen Star Wars,"   
Bucky pulled away from Poppins gaze to stare at the _crochet your own star wars set_ she had gifted to him. He had set it on the top of his pile of presents.  
"I haven't, not yet. It's on the list." He admitted "I'm excited to try crochet though. I remember my Ma used to do it. Make us blankets."  
"I thought this would be the ideal craft to keep you busy," she explained before turning back to the room  
"I cant believe you two haven’t shown him Star Wars yet."  
  
Sam and Steve had the sense to look embarrassed.  
"We could put it on now if no one minds?" Sam suggested. The room nodded. Sam took hold of the remote.  
"Why are we starting on episode four?" Bucky asked.  
"Don’t ask Buck. It's a thing." Steve grumbled lounging back on the other side of the couch.  
"You have to start at the beginning of the franchise." Sam answered vaguely   
"Isn’t episode one the beginning?" Bucky asked Poppin.  
"Oh my sweet summer child. No." She patted his leg. He fought back a smile. He liked it when she touched him so casually. "The rule is you watch in order of the films release. 4, 5, 6, then 1, 2, 3. You then get the option to watch 7, 8, and 9, or you can watch with the standalone films in the stories timeline." She explained as Bucky picked up a blanket from behind her head on the sofa, he draped it over the two of them.  
"That doesn’t make any sense." Bucky grumbled hiding his right hand under the blanket. Poppin smiled as he pinched her leg under the blanket.  
"That's what I said!" Agreed Steve.  
  
Bucky watched Poppin take a sip of her drink as she settled back into her seat. She pulled the blanket up under her feet to seal in her body heat, before pulling up the top of the blanket up to her chest. She poked her right hand out from the edge to hold her mug, as her left hand snaked towards his own. Once she had found his hand, she settled against him, their fingers intertwining like they had the night before. Bucky blushed; he enjoyed these secret little hand holds. _Consistency. Strong bond. Security. Companionship._  
  
"Would you make me a blanket sometime?" She asked with a cheeky smile.  
"Of course," he replied  
"You two will need all the yarn you can get to line her nest." Nat smirked from under Steve's arm. They were cuddled up on the other. Steve looked up to grin at you both. Bucky smiled proudly, looking down at his Omega. Poppin had hidden behind her mug again, but she gave his hand a squeeze.  
"You think so?" Bucky replied to Nat. He was always intrigued with her point of view.  
"Barnes, I know so." She replied laying her head on Steve's chest once again. "Poppin lives under blankets. She’s a serial nester."  
"I've never made a real nest." Poppin admitted. The room turned to look at her. "I never had the instinct to make one. I thought it was a heat thing."   
"It’s more of a bond thing." Nat replied.  
  
Bucky didn’t really understand what Poppin had meant by not having the instinct to make a nest, did that mean she had never wanted to bond before? Was she feeling an instinct now? What if she didn’t? Would it mean he wasn’t the one? maybe it had something to do with her missing scent. There must be plenty of instincts she had missed without scent. Just like he missed out on instincts without his ruts. He wondered what she might have missed out on. He found himself wondering what her room looked like. If she didn’t nest, did she sleep in a bed? Was she on the floor or did she have an elevated bed frame?   
  
Leaning forward towards her he breathed in her peppermint scent. She turned to smile at him, but he managed to resist the urge to nuzzle her nose. He hadn’t yet been that forward, and Nat was still watching them.  
  
Bucky had never made a nest either. Never had the chance to. Never had a mate to want to. That's what Nat was on about right? That bonding would make them want to nest. He'd heard of Alphas who did. Steve did, Clint did. Usually it was because they were bonded and it was about taking care of their mate, not their own preferences.  
  
Perhaps he could make a nest. Would Poppin like one? Perhaps she would like one he had made for her. Perhaps she would want to bond with him in it. He would need extra blankets and pillows. Maybe a heated blanket for the winter. He could take his bed frame down and have the nest on the floor. On the floor next to the large window overlooking the trees in the compound. He looked over Poppins shoulder to see snow finally falling. He thought Poppin would probably enjoy laying in his nest, on the floor, looking into the trees, as it snowed. She could read. Or cuddle him. Or just sleep. Anything would be fine with him so long as she was in there with him.  
  
Bucky shuffled down on the couch, changing the pressure on his back. Poppin melted into him, resting her head on his shoulder as her eyes began to blink a little more often than usual. He watched her, amused. Hopefully, she would fall asleep on him tonight. He already enjoyed how comfortable she was around him but falling asleep on him would be the highest compliment. If only he could keep his own eyes open. He was warm, happy, and filled with food as his own head rested against hers.   
  
He woke to whispers in the room.   
  
"Should I wake them?" He heard Steve ask  
"Leave them, they're comfortable." Nat whispered back.  
"They’ll wake up with a neck ache if they stay here." Steve countered   
"They can figure it out. Leave them." Nat replied. Her steps led away.  
"Cute aren’t they." Sam cooed quietly "these two gonna make the cutest pups."  
"Neither can have pups Sam." Steve replied   
"You trying to tell me Poppin gets her scent back and you still don’t think they're true mates?" Sam hissed back  
"I'm just saying, don’t get your hopes up." Steve returned. His steps lead away towards the elevator.  
  
"I think you need a little more faith in these two and the magic they're making." Sam continued further across the room.  
"Sam. Shhhh!" Nat replied from far away.  
"Gonna make the cutest little pups. I want one named after me. Sam Barnes. Sounds good don’t it?" The elevator dinged its arrival and the three stepped forward.  
"Bucky would never name a pup after you." Steve scoffed. The elevator doors began to crunch as they closed.  
"He won’t, but Poppin would. And she’s the one doing all the hard work."  
  
Bucky couldn't help the smile that spread over his face as he was left alone listening to the light snores from Poppin.  
  
Would he name a pup after Sam? Probably not. If Poppin wanted too though? Yeah, he could get behind it. He would probably name his pup anything she wanted because he would be so happy they had managed to have one. The day he met Poppin, when Bruce had told him they may have a higher chance of conceiving, that nugget of information had stayed in his mind, wiggling around uninvited. He knew, realistically it might not happen. And he had accepted that it might not happen... but _what if_ it did?   
  
Would Poppin be happy? Did she want pups? Steve had once made a passing comment that Poppin and Nat were so close because neither of them had to worry about the other moving out to have pups. But the difference between him and Poppin and Steve and Nat, was that if Steve and Nat decided they wanted a pack of pups, then they'd be guaranteed to be allowed to adopt on reputation and status alone. He didn’t know anyone who would allow The Winter Soldier to gain custody of any other human. He wouldn’t. He hadn’t had the time to recoup his reputation, but really, was he even equipped to achieve that anyway? There was a reason Steve was the ideal poster boy, he was charismatic, friendly, and open. Bucky wasn't. Did he even want to be? Probably not.   
  
It didn’t matter anyway. What would be, would be. If he and Poppin could build a little life for themselves, he would be happy wherever they were, whoever they were with.  
  
Slowly he raised his head from hers to look around the room, the kitchen light was on but the rest of the room was in darkness. They could stay here for the night, but it wasn’t comfortable in this position. It would be better to go to bed, but then they would be in separate rooms. Unless she would like to stay with him? But what if she didn’t. Would it be better to stay here together or potentially break apart in a better bed?   
  
_Consistency. Strong bond. Security. Companionship_.   
  
There was always tomorrow.  
Resting a kiss on her forehead, Bucky squeezed Poppins hand.  
"Poppin, we fell asleep again."   
She stirred, looking round the room with sleepy eyes, she looked adorable.  
"The others went to bed?" She asked  
"Yes, let’s go join them." Bucky soothed as she sat up, shuffling to the edge of the couch.  
"Did you watch A New Hope?" She asked, Bucky was looking at the left side of her hair, all mussed up from being pressed against him.  
"I slept through it." He admitted gently brushing her hair behind her ear. It didn’t really tidy it.  
"We will have to try again tomorrow wont we." She smiled as he placed his hand back in his lap.  
"I'd like that." He chuckled.  
  
Tomorrow, yes. He would try again tomorrow. Waiting for her to fill herself a glass of water to take to bed, Bucky smiled at their play of domesticity. As Poppin approached him he held out his right hand for her. Instead of placing her hand in his, she pointedly moved to his left side to hold his metal hand.  
  
Bucky watched her fingers intertwine with his, he could feel her tension in the sensors of the hand piece. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to touch her with it, he just assumed she would prefer the warmth and softness of his own, original limb. It wasn’t often that his metal prosthetic was shown the gentle compassion of his other arm.  
  
"Is this okay?" She asked uncertainly, she had been watching his reaction. Bucky smiled, still drinking in in the view of their hands together.  
"This is more than okay." He pulled up his arm to bring the back of her hand to his lips. He enjoyed watching Poppin blush.   
  
Reaching her bedroom door, they both paused. Bucky took a deep breath, feeling awkward. He didn’t want to see her close the door behind her, but he also didn’t have the confidence to invite her into his room with him. It appeared Poppin could sense his conflicting thoughts.  
"I'm really enjoying your company," she said taking a step forward to wrap her arms around his waist. "I like that we are taking this slow."  
Bucky held her close, nuzzling into her hair.  
"You do?" He asked  
"I do." She looked up at him with sleepy eyes. "And you'll be even more bearable after watching Star Wars."   
"Good night Poppin. Sleep tight." Bucky smiled as she leant up to nuzzle her nose against his. A little closer and he could kiss her. No. Not tonight.   
  
Leaning to the left Poppin kissed his cheek with a smirk. She opened her door, stepped in and leant in the door frame as he took a step backwards.  
"You know, I want to know what Sam said to you, to get you back downstairs yesterday." She quizzed looking suspicious.  
Bucky smirked as he paced backwards whilst facing her. He didn’t want to turn his back to her first.   
"I'll tell you tomorrow." He replied cryptically.  
"Will you?" She asked, her suspicion becoming curious.  
"Maybe. Goodnight Poppin." Bucky teased as she slowly closed her door on him. He was already halfway to his own door.  
  
 _Consistency. Strong bond. Security. Companionship_.  
  
Tonight he would search the internet for blankets, pillows, and yarn until he fell asleep again.


	18. 1st January

"Thor is outrageously intoxicated tonight. It appears he got over excited to catch up with Bruce."  
Poppin giggled.  
"Bruce was equally as excited about visiting New Asgard."  
"You should be here."  
"No one was to know this is how the night would turn out." You smiled as you took a sip of tea.  
"I miss you Little One." Loki sighed  
"I miss you," you agreed "Not long till spring equinox though. Am I still invited to come to stay?"  
"But of course!" Loki replied, "We have built you a spare room in my quarters, so you always have a place to call your own."  
"Aww Loki!" You beamed  
"Perhaps you could bring Barnes with you?" Loki was smirking down the phone. Poppin could hear it.  
"Perhaps." You agreed. You paused for a moment in thought. "I had hoped to start the new year with him."  
"Have they not yet returned?"  
"Not yet. Anyway. I'll let you go so you can re-join the others." You took a glance around the deserted living area.  
"Are you sure Little One? I don’t mind missing this gathering."  
"I'm sure, I'm tempted to going to sleep. Start the new year as I mean to go on." You smiled down the phone.  
"Until next week then?" Loki asked  
"Until next week." You agreed "Happy New Year Loki."  
"Happy New Year Little One."  
  
Hearing the click of the line ending Poppin pulled her phone away from her ear. 12.01am January 1st.  
  
Happy New Year.  
  
You always found it funny how through no difference in state, a change of timing could feel so refreshing. So new. With so much opportunity. Even new weeks, and months felt like this sometimes. A reset button. A refresh. A new start.  
  
You had hoped to start this new year with Bucky. Preferably sharing your first kiss without the pressure of regular timing. It's just a New Year tradition isn’t it? Kissing your love. If that's what he was. You had so _nearly_ kissed him on Christmas Day as he stood outside your door. But he had been tensed and fidgety, and you didn’t want to push him in the wrong direction. You had held back. Nuzzled his nose. Kissed his cheek. That had got the point across, he had relaxed then, and he bade you goodnight.  
  
The rest of the week had been more relaxed as all residents indulged in daily walks out of the compound, film marathons and big group cook ups. The pack felt tighter in these days. In that, they had always been close, even with Bruce being low maintenance on his socialisation, but something had clicked since Bucky arrived. The pack felt closer knit together, in the best way. The man in question was not only opening to everyone and getting involved in group conversations, but he was also beginning to cuddle you more freely. Holding hands over the blanket, placing his arm over the back of your chair at the kitchen. Yesterday you had been talking to Sam and he had pulled you by the hand to face him so he could hold you whilst Sam continued ranting about how Poe and Finn had the best chemistry.  
  
Earlier this evening you had been preparing for New Years Eve when an alert rang out about an imminent terrorist attack. Nat had already enjoyed a glass of wine as she got dressed so Bucky had stood up to offer to fly the Quinjet allowing Steve and Sam time to organise the counterattack whilst Nat sobered up.  
  


That had been hours ago. You knew as they disappeared that they would be back late, so you had cleared away the charcuterie and cheese spread from the kitchen table so it stayed fresh when you would get it back out tomorrow. You didn’t know where they were, but you had really hoped you could still enjoy midnight with them. It felt selfish as you tried not to imagine what they were going through. Should you go to bed? Or should you stay up in case you could see them? Sam would probably want a cuddle after an incident like this. You would like a cuddle with Bucky.  
  
You heard the Quinjet land as you sat reading under the lights at the kitchen table, worried if you moved to a chair any comfier you would drop to sleep. The numbers on the elevator moved, pausing on Floor 16 for an extended time before it whirled back into life. The elevator dinged, revealing Sam and Bucky. Bucky had his fists clenched as he stared at the floor. Sam caught sight of you and grinned.  
  
"Hey Buck, look who it is?"  
Bucky had looked up, his face slackened in relief as he stormed towards you wrapping his arms around you tightly.  
"You're up." He mumbled into your neck as he breathed you in.  
"I stayed up to see you." You replied rubbing his back. Bucky sighed as you looked to Sam. He was watching, a concerned look on his face. You didn’t like it.  
"How did it go?" You asked Sam.  
He cleared his throat before he answered. "It was a tough one. Didn’t manage to secure any witnesses."  
  
Oh. That meant a bad night.  
"Sounds like tonight's been overwhelming." You acknowledged.  
Sam hummed in agreement as Bucky stepped back and sat on the stool next to you. You held out your arms to Sam.  
"Get in here Falcon, plenty of cuddles to go around." You smiled as Sam enveloped into you. He sighed a deep breath as you held him. Melting into you, his chest heaved a few times. When he caught his composure, he let you go.  
"Thanks Pops." He wiped a cheek as he looked in a different direction.  
"Anytime pal. It's what I'm here for." You gave his arm a small squeeze. He forced a small smile. "Would you like us to stay up a while with you?"  
"Nah, I'm good. Get this guy to bed." Sam replied looking to Bucky. "Tonight, was hard on him."  
  
You followed his line of sight. Bucky was sat staring into space, his jaw tense and brows furrowed. Sliding off your chair, you cupped his cheeks with your hands, smiling down to him, he blinked twice before he looked back to you. His face relaxed but he didn’t seem able to muster a smile.  
"Let's turn in for the night."  
He opened his mouth to say something before he closed it again and nodded.  
  
Arriving at Bucky's apartment door you swiped your master key to open it for him. He investigated the darkened room, then back to his hand holding yours. He gave your hand a squeeze.  
"Get ready for bed, I'll meet you back here in a few minutes." You instructed.  
"Where are you going?" He asked timidly.  
"I'm going to get my toothbrush." You smiled at him. He blinked at you.  
"You're staying here?"  
  
You faltered, was it too much to assume he would want you to stay? Perhaps he would want to be on his own, perhaps he wasn’t ready for you to stay. He hadn’t asked you too. Had you just assumed you would be welcome? Were you assuming how close you had become? Had you just followed your own desires instead of asking?  
  
"May I?" You asked, feeling a little embarrassed.  
"Yes, please." He leaned in to lay a kiss on your hairline, helping you to relax.  
  
When you knocked on his door you were changed into fresh sleeping attire with your toothbrush in tow. Bucky greeted you with a small smile as you slipped into his apartment. Why did this feel a little naughty? Surely no one would mind. No one had seen, and yet. This felt secretive. Precious.  
  
Looking around Bucky’s apartment you realised you hadn’t paid any attention the morning you woke him from his nightmare. His living area was in darkness, you noted you had chosen his room to be identical to yours in layout, with a kitchen to the right, a living room in the middle and a bedroom to the left. The only difference other than size was his separate bedroom whereas you were in a little studio apartment. Bucky’s bed was illuminated by a single lamp on a bedside table.  
  
Taking your hand, Bucky led you to his side of the bed, he sat down and gently pulled you onto straddle his lap like you had the day you had scented his tutor away. Instinctively you nuzzled into his neck, breathing in his sadness and regret. You rubbed his back as he held onto you, nuzzling his nose against your scent gland.  
  
"Would you like to talk about it?" You asked quietly pulling away to cup his cheeks once again. He looked up at you, his expression still blank.  
"There’s nothing to talk about. I didn’t even leave the quinjet." He replied gently.  
"That doesn’t mean there’s nothing to talk about." You kissed each of his cheeks and nuzzled his nose.  
"It can wait." He confirmed as he closed his eyes. "Therapy resumes on Monday."  
"Please talk to me before then if you need too, okay?" A quiet purr emanated from his chest, if you hadn’t been listening for it you may have missed it.  
"Okay." He agreed opening his eyes to give you a little smile. "I'm glad you're here."  
"I'm happy to be here." You admitted.  
  
Nuzzling his nose again you scented his sadness dispersing into calm and exhaustion. Bucky’s eyes had fluttered shut again but his smile remained. You were so close. Nose to nose. You could feel his body heat on your cheeks. You knew this may be the wrong time, the wrong mood, the wrong setting, but instincts took over again. It didn't take much to brush your lips softly over his, only for a moment before pulling back to nuzzle the tip of his nose. Bucky held you firmly behind the shoulders, his palm pressing into your back as he leaned up into you. His lips melted onto yours for what felt like eternity. Butterflies erupted in your stomach as a heat spread around your veins.  
  
"Poppin." He murmured as he pulled away to look at you. A larger smile gracing his features as adoration filled your chest. You smiled as you kissed his cheek, making him purr again a little louder.  
  
Tipping backwards onto the bed, Bucky rolled you both. Your back was on the mattress, him on top of you. A knee nestled between your legs as he kissed you again. And again. Each time felt more familiar. Predictable as you learnt each other’s styles and preference. Opening your mouth wider, your tongue danced against his as he crowded you into his sheets.  
  
This felt good. A little too good. Totally worth the wait. You could scent arousal in the room as you both maneuvered around on the bed. You shuffled down underneath him, refusing to break off this kiss as he supported himself on his elbows above you. He raised a hand to cup your cheek as he purred. You held onto his t-shirt with one hand, another running up underneath to ripple down his abs. You purred as he placed himself between both your thighs. You lifted your own to wrap around his hips as he ground himself forwards onto you.  
  
It seemed ridiculous, given the time you had spent together but you hadn’t yet fully considered just how heavy-set Bucky was. Sure, you knew he was tall and broad, but he had also been gentle, and quiet and thoughtful through all your interactions together.  
  
Now, laid underneath him you realised the full extent of the power he possessed, or more accurately, controlled. He had flipped you over effortlessly, if he wanted you to move, or not move, there would be no question he could manipulate the situation. Even now, you could tell he was holding back as he ground his hips down onto yours. He was chasing his pleasure, but not at the expense of yours.  
  
His boxers pushing onto your panties left little for the imagination, you gasped in shock as you felt how hard he was against you. He rolled his hips again. Rubbing you up the right way as you rose your own to meet him. Again. Again. Pleasure was working its way down your limbs. He felt so fucking good your senses felt clouded as you hummed against his mouth.  
  
"Fuck." Bucky hissed as he pulled away abruptly, his expression looked stricken with realisation of what had been happening. As he leant back on his knees, he inhaled deep to regain his composure. "I don’t... I can’t do this. I want to. I can’t, not yet."  
  
"Hey," you attempted to pull on his armpits, trying to encourage him towards you. Bucky held fast; he didn’t move an inch.  
"Bucky?" You tested out his nickname for the first time, glad to watch his head snap up in surprise. "We will stop. Talk to me."  
"You've never called me Bucky before." He mumbled distracted, you guided him back down to rest his cheek on your chest.  
"Talk to me." You repeated a little more sternly, you didn’t want to command him with your Omega tone, but you would if it came to it. "We don’t need to rush into anything."  
  
Bucky strained upwards nuzzle back into your neck. His nose hit your scent gland giving you butterflies as his other handheld onto your waist.  
"You can set the pace and I'll meet you." You soothed as you ran your hands through his hair applying pressure on the pads of your fingers to massage him. He sighed.  
"I don’t want to hurt you." He mumbled. You stayed quiet for a moment to see if he would continue.  
  
"Do you think you might?" You asked.  
"I don’t know. I wouldn’t mean too." He admitted "I just... I don’t know. I didn’t mean to hurt a lot of the people I met over the years."  
"I don’t think you would." You confirmed confidently.  
"How can you be sure?" He asked propping himself up to look at you.  
"Because you're my Alpha." You scratched his scalp just past his temple. A smile played on his lips. "Regardless of bond, Bucky, you will always listen to me. If I ask you to stop, you _will_ hear."  
  
Bucky held you a little tighter once you both got under his covers, pulling your back to his chest like you had both been on the couch. He nuzzled into your shoulder, purring with contentment as he drifted off to sleep. You laid listening to his breathing change to slow, deep breaths.  
  
Tomorrow, you would need to check back in with Sam. It wasn’t often he would lose his sparkle, even after a mission as tough as this one.  
  
Every January 1st you would start the year as you meant to go on, and this meant everyone deserved to be feeling their best. No cleaning. Good food. Great friends. As a light snore came from behind you, you smiled. Excited for what this new year would have in store for you and Bucky.


	19. 3rd January

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest, I've been super excited for this chapter and I really hope you all enjoy it :)

Bucky hummed in contentment as he spread mayonnaise over 2 slices of bread. Carefully, he tipped each of them over onto a mound of delicious goodness. Rye bread with mustard. Corned beef and Pastrami. Lettuce, Applewood cheese and finally a green apple and cabbage coleslaw. Sam was watching him press down the mountain and slice it in two with a raised eyebrow.   
"How’s that for a cross section," Bucky gushed in delight. Sam hummed appreciatory as he was handed two halves on a plate.  
"You want chips with that?" Bucky asked holding out the bag. Sam grunted. Bucky poured then out next to the sandwich. He watched Sam sit at the kitchen table opposite Poppin.   
"I'm not sure I've ever seen you so enthusiastic over a sandwich?" Poppin chuckled, ripping an end off a French baton.  
"Pops, there ain't nothing better for the soul than a New York Deli Pastrami Sandwich." Bucky sat next to her with his own plate. He gave her knee a little squeeze, making her smile.   
  
Sam was unusually quiet as he bit into his portion. He had been all weekend. Poppin had been trying to tempt Sam into talking about what was bothering him, but instead of opening up, he had faked a smile and excused himself to his apartment. Bucky didn't have the words to comfort Sam so had been taking a patient stance. Sam would talk when he was ready or when he was training. They usually opened up to each other whilst in the gym. When Sam had cancelled training this morning, Bucky knew it was time to change tactic. He still didn’t have the right words for his best friend, but he knew the other way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Bucky had organised a special shopping list with Poppin to get whilst he was in his morning therapy session, leading to the culinary masterpiece sat in front of him.   
  
It was fair to say, Bucky was out of practise when it came to caring for others. He used to care for his little sisters when he was a pup himself. As an adolescent he used to care for Steve easy enough, but Steve couldn't keep himself out of trouble, so it came naturally. When HYDRA took him, he had tried to care and protect new recruits before they beat that out of him. Then he protected his captors with everything he had. He stopped caring. When he reconnected with Steve that day on the bridge, something clicked. That feeling of remembering something you didn’t realise you had forgotten, and it turned out every day since had been a variety of recollections.   
  
The day he got caught with Steve in Bucharest, he realised he cared for his past.   
  
The day he woke up in Wakanda after Shuri's treatment, he realised he cared for his present.   
  
The day he met Poppin in the kitchen on that first morning in the compound, he realised he cared for his future.   
  
His housekeeper was currently eating one handed. The other hand planted firmly on his thigh, ready to intertwine fingers with his as soon as he finished needing both hands to finish his lunch. Just thinking about how comfortable they were together was enough to make him smile. He was proud. Proud of what they were building together. Bucky wanted to nuzzle his nose against her. Kiss her. Hold her. He wasn’t ready to do it at the table in front of the pack yet, but soon he would. Soon he would ask her to be his Omega. He would ask for her bond and offer her his.   
  
Perhaps she would like to move into his apartment when they became bonded. Perhaps they could get a new apartment together. Apparently, that's what Steve and Nat did, they moved into a new apartment together. A clean slate. A new space to create for themselves. Perhaps a new apartment would be where Poppin built her nest, the one he imagined next to the window looking out onto the trees circling the compound. He hoped she was ready. He hoped she would say yes. How soon was soon? Was tonight too soon?   
  
Poppin was dunking her buttered bread into a steaming bowl of soup whilst watching Sam closely. Perhaps a little too closely. Her eyes narrowed in concentration.   
  
Steve entered the kitchen from the elevator dressed in his tactical suit. He looked like a proper Captain America poster boy today. Why was he bringing out the big guns?  
"Hey, you nearly ready?" He asked Bucky, leaning on the table. Bucky swallowed his mouthful, frowning.  
"Ready?"   
Steve rose an eyebrow.  
"Are you ready to fire your tutor? Or did you forget about the Bitch?"   
  
Bucky flinched on his stool. He had completely forgotten about Katie and her unwanted scenting. He had forgotten he and Steve were going to dismiss her today. He was already feeling a pang of regret about cancelling his classes, but not with her. He would be happy when he didn’t have to see Katie again. Poppin had felt his reaction, she was rubbing his thigh in support.  
"Steve," Poppin scolded "less of the derogatory comments please."   
"I ain't being rude cos she’s a female Pops, she’s a bitch because she’s overstepping the line of consent." Steve explained, a lack of remorse evident in his tone.  
"Bitchy activity." Sam grumbled, a mouth full of pastrami. Poppin scoffed.  
"I forgot. I'll come back to this." Bucky mumbled lowering his second half back to the plate, his appetite all but dissipated at the idea of seeing that woman again. _For the last time,_ he thought.   
  
Leaving Poppin with a kiss on the cheek, Bucky hopped into the elevator with Steve in silence as he chewed his cheek.  
"You good?" Steve asked.  
Bucky nodded, staring at his feet.  
"I will be. What if she complains to Fury?"  
"Then Fury will have to hash it out with me. I ain't having her, have her way with you. Getting in the way of you and Poppin. It ain't right."  
Bucky looked up at his other best friend. The one he had assumed for a short time he might live with once he got to the compound. Bucky smiled. Steve had been the most vocal of his cynicism of Poppin that first day, but he was now one of the most vocal in his support. Steve saw things for what they were. He knew better than to meddle, but he was always ready to back up Bucky, edging him in the right direction.   
  
Strolling down the corridors of the main section of Compound, Steve set a harsh pace.  
"We go in. I'll dismiss her. You shouldn't need to say anything if you don’t want too, if you do want to, go ahead. I'll escort her to the reception, and you'll be free to get back upstairs." Steve recited as they reached the door of the small meeting room. "Return to your Omega."   
  
Looking through the glass panel Bucky saw reference and notebooks on the table, but no Katie. A whiff of something bitter hit his nostrils a moment before Steve opened the door and stepped inside. Bucky followed.   
  
It was as the door clicked shut that a movement to his right caught his eye, Katie slammed the bottom of her heeled shoe onto Steve's head knocking him back against the door. She hit him twice, and a third time leaving him dazed on the floor. Bucky had barely processed what he was seeing before a chunky heel propelled his way. Not as dangerous as a stiletto would be but still painful enough as it connected with his scalp. Between white spots and stars Bucky could see a dribble of blood falling down out of Steve's hair as he held a hand to his head.   
  
And then Katie was on him.   
  
With strength he had no idea an Omega could possess Bucky was shoved against a wall. Katie was pressed against him, breathing against his cheek. Why was she so out of breath? Why was she so damp? Her hair was clumped to her scalp, large wet patches adorned her blue shirt. The smell was overwhelming. Stale. Revolting. It filled every corner of the room. It was the bitter scent he had caught before they entered. Katie was in heat. In a big way.   
  
"Alpha." She purred running a hand up to his throat. "I waited to see you. Such a good Omega. So, patient."  
"Katie, what have you done?"  
"Stopped taking my suppressants. For you." She grinned as she ground down against him, spreading the smell all over his clothes.   
  
Bucky shoved her off roughly. A growl rumbling deep in his chest. Unfortunately, the Omega giggled as she stuck out her chest and leaped back towards him with more force than he expected.  
She managed to get a harder hold on his neck, pushing against the wall. Bucky stood frozen as his tutor leaned in to sniff his gland. She licked all the way up his neck, nipping at his earlobe.  
"Still Unbonded Alpha. Of course." She purred   
"I have an Omega." Bucky choked out  
"But not a Bond. The housekeeper hasn't presented to you has she. Not like me. I'm a good Omega. I'll present to you. I’ll bond with you. I’ll bond with you right now."   
  
Whilst holding onto Bucky throat with one hand, Katie's other hand had moved down to palm the front of his trousers. Disappointed with his lack of reaction she growled.   
"You stink of her." She spat. "That housekeepers been touching you."   
  
Pushing harder on his neck she made it almost impossible to swallow as she used her other hand to pull down Bucky’s top to display his unmarked mating gland. It was all he could do to gasp for stagnant air and push her shoulders away from him as she attempted to chomp down on him. Her teeth snapped in mid-air. She growled, her expression of absolute hatred as he resisted her.   
  
Steve had managed to drag himself off the floor, still holding his head, he braced the wall as he tried to stand straight.  
"Buck! COMPROMISE HER." Steve yelled.   
  
Bucky felt torn. He didn’t want to hurt Katie. She was a civilian. But she wasn’t going to relent. Not until she had bitten his mating gland and claimed him for herself. Realisation that this Omega, the wrong Omega, was about to steal his bond helped give him the strength to throw her off him. Using his metal arm, he took hold of the front of Katie's shirt and threw her across the table. She skidded over the surface and flopped down the other side of the room with a thud and a cackle.   
  
Steve had grappled Bucky by the waist and thrown him out the room, slamming the door behind the two of them. Punching a code into the keypad, Steve stepped back panting as they watched Katie launch herself at the door, pulling on it with all her strength. She screamed at them from inside.   
  
"Bitches in heat." Steve spat.  
"You okay?" Bucky held Steve up as he swayed on the spot.  
"Fine." Steve grunted as he held up a radio from the back of his belt. "Urgent, Officers Needed. Volatile Omega in heat, locked in meeting room 3a. Corridor 5th and B. Needs to be taken into custody. Charged with assault. Repeat, Omega in heat. Suppressed designations only."  
They stood watching Katie work at the door till the radio confirmed that officers were on their way.   
  
Sitting in Banners office Bucky held his head in his hands, palms massaging his eyes as he tried to keep calm. How could his day have gone so wrong? What was going to happen now? Would he have to see Katie again? What would he have done if she managed to bond with him? Just thinking of telling Poppin what happened today was stressing him out.   
  
Steve was having 2 cuts in his scalp glued back together by Bruce as a message came back over the radio.  
"Negative on Omega in 3a, meeting room empty."  
"Empty?" Steve replied sharply.  
"Affirmative." Came the reply.  
"Check who last opened the door." Steve answered. "Send out patrols to find this Omega. She is a danger."  
The voice that rang through the radio appeared to be on a louder setting than it had been a matter of seconds ago.   
"The keypad is saying the last person to open the door was Sergeant Barnes."   
  
Bucky head snapped up to look at Steve.  
"That's impossible." Steve replied to Banners room.  
Bruce placed down the glue he as working with and pulled a computer screen towards the three men.  
"FRIDAY, show surveillance of corridors 5 and B junction, meeting room 3a entrance." He turned to Bucky, watching panic rise in his body language. "It’ll be okay Bucky; we can figure this out."   
  
Finding the correct frame of time was easy, 20 minutes ago Steve and Bucky walked into the room. Within 3 minutes 30 seconds, Steve was hauling Bucky back out. They watched them stand as Steve radioed in, then they watched the two of them stumble down the corridor and turn left towards Banners laboratory. Not 20 seconds later, Katie had opened the door and popped her head out.   
"How the hell..." Steve began to curse.   
  
Bucky felt his guts drop an inch in his stomach as realisation set in. Katie was never locked in there. She was totally in control. The conniving woman had pretended to be locked in to trick them into a false state of security. Bucky suppressed an urge to wretch as he watched Katie manoeuvre out the door, shutting it gently behind her as she placed a black key card into her skirt pocket. She stormed down the corridor after them, turning right at the end.   
  
Bucky knew that black key card.  
It was the key card to his bedroom.   
  
"That's my key card." Bucky choked out, running his hands through his hair.   
"The one you lost? You didn’t replace it?"  
"I... I used the manual one instead." Bucky stammered, trying to get his thoughts in line.   
"FRIDAY, find signal of location for Sergeant Barnes Key card." Steve barked the order at the screen. It analysed for a moment before showing surveillance of Katie stood pressing a button for the north side elevators. The elevators needed to get to the resident’s wing of the compound. Bucky felt sick.  
"Steve, she’s... she’s got access to my room. She’s got access to the residents lounge."   
"FRIDAY, shut down all elevators in North Wing immediately. Shut down access for Sergeant Barnes key card IMMEDIATELY." Steve recited with urgency loudly.  
Bucky jumped off his chair as they watched Katie press the button again. She stomped her foot as she realised the elevators were out of order, before removing her shoes and opening the door to the stairs.  
"Is she really planning to scale 15 floors?" Bruce commented crossing his arms.  
"She’s a bitch in heat Bruce, I'd put nothing past her." Steve muttered darkly.  
"Poppin." Bucky realised "if she meets her in that state..."   
  
Steve had lifted his radio again  
"Urgent, Volatile Omega in North Tower stairway making her way to Residents Floor. Apprehend Immediately." Steve lowered the radio "FRIDAY, memo Natasha and Sam, tell them to get to Poppin ASAP."  
Bucky didn't hear FRIDAY acknowledge Steve's demand, he was already halfway down the corridor running towards the North Tower Stairway.


	20. 3rd January #2

  
Poppin felt heat rise through her cheeks as Bucky kissed her goodbye in front of Sam and Steve. 

Steve had smirked on his walk back to the elevator, turning to wink over his shoulder as he looked back at you. Sam had paused lifting his sandwich with distraction.  
"When did that start happening?" He demanded  
You turned to look at him.  
"I don’t know what you mean." You replied, stern faced.  
"Barnes has just _kissed_ your cheek." He paused "in front of us!" Sam exclaimed.  
"I have nothing to talk about." You looked around the kitchen as casually as possible.  
"You're a damn dirty liar Pops. When did Barnes begin kissing you?" Sam exclaimed slamming a fist on the table. 

All weekend you had waited for Sam to discuss what was bothering him. He was holding it in, close to his chest and you didn’t like it when Sam did this. After he found he couldn't split his time evenly to the Veterans Support Group as well as the Avengers Initiative, Sam had stepped away from the day-to-day organisation in the hope someone else would be able to give their members better support. The problem with this, Poppin found, was when something bothered Sam, he had no outlet to talk about it anymore. He wasn’t considered in need of therapy like Bucky, so he had the mandated once a month session and nothing more. Sam hadn’t been able to build a relationship the way Bucky had with his therapist, and it meant if Poppin couldn't wiggle it out of him he was at risk of falling down old self-destructive paths. 

You shrugged. Sam glared.  
"I'll talk if you will." You teased, a small smirk making it way across your features. Sam's eyes narrowed.  
"And if I don’t want too?" He asked.  
"So you admit there is something to discuss?" You raised any eyebrow. Smug.

Sam shrugged, but his brow had furrowed.  
"Come on Pops, I don’t want to play games. I just wanted some good news." He took a large bite of sandwich.  
"I don't want to play games either, but you won’t talk to me. I've been waiting for you to smile all weekend." You admitted. "Come on Sam. Somethings up." 

"I'm fine." Sam grumbled; his mouth full.  
"You are definitely not fine." You scoffed. He looked up at you with those awful puppy dog eyes full of hurt. "Is it Fridays mission?"  
"No, it's not that." Sam sighed "but I don't want to talk about that either." He shoved another massive bite in his mouth as if it were going to keep you from getting to the bottom of this.  
"Is it someone here in the compound?"  
"Mo." He replied, his mouth full of food.  
"Training?"  
"Mo."  
"Your room?"  
"Mo."  
"Your suit?" You continued to pressure him as he swallowed.  
"No, that's okay."  
"Then it must be something to do with Leon." You deduced matter of factly. 

Sam placed down the sandwich, licking sauce off his fingers.  
"It might be Leon. Or it was Leon." He admitted not meeting your eye. "It don’t matter now."  
"What did he do?" You asked gently. Sam took a long draft from his glass of water.  
"He called time on us. On me." Sam looked up sadly. "Said I was a lot to take on."

With someone’s day job as variable and secretive as Sam’s, it meant he couldn’t consistently be around for mundane engagements nor could he discuss details of it most of the time. As an outgoing and charismatic Alpha, he was a strong personality. _A lot to take on_ was an understatement but you resented someone using it in a negative manner. 

Of course, Sam was a lot. He was a lot of responsibility. A lot of loyalty and a lot of love rolled up in a loud, bouncy package. An incredibly special package not everyone deserved access too nor knew what to do with. 

"Whatever you're a lot of, you're worth every effort Sam. Have you taken his comment to heart?"  
"A little." Sam admitted  
"That's a silly thing to do." You replied, a small smile playing in your lips. "Are you going to be okay?"  
Sam nodded.  
"Yeah I'll be okay. Just letting myself feel the funk. Let it work its way out my system." He admitted picking the sandwich back up. He gave you a forced smile.  
"You know where to find us if you need us?" You asked. Sam nodded before dropping the sandwich back on the plate. 

Watching the facade finally crack was a liberating but bittersweet moment. You hopped down from your stool, walking round the table to hug Sam as he began to sniffle, hiding his head in his hands. Enclosing your arms around him, you gave him a squeeze as you rubbed his heaving back. Sam sobbed loudly in your arms. The dam had burst. 

Sam didn’t cry often, but when he did, he'd cry hard.  
"Sam, why has he got so under your skin?" You asked, leaning back to grab the box of tissues usually sat at the end of the kitchen table. 

Sam allowed you to cup his cheeks as you wiped away his tears.  
"I asked for his bond." He mumbled. Your eyes widened in surprise.   
"You did? That's so serious!" You exclaimed   
"That's when he broke it off." Sam continued. "I thought he was it, I presented to him. I was down on one knee and he laughed and said No. When he realised, I wasn’t joking, he said I was a lot to take on." 

Your heart broke for Sam as you pulled him close once again. All those, _you'll meet someone else, he wasn’t good enough for you, it's all about fate and timing_ Anecdotes made their way onto your tongue but you let them die there.  
Sam sobbed into your shoulder as he hugged you tightly.  
"All this time I thought I'd met my mate Pops, I thought I was set for the future. Thought we could adopt some pups. Get domestic."  
You continued to rub his back.  
"Now I just feel..." he paused, trying to find the words.  
"Left behind," you murmured. 

You got it. The years of being overlooked and unable to connect. They were long, and tiring. The past 2 months since Bucky had arrived had been a blur, flying past on comparison. 

"You get it Pops." He muttered. "Everyone's settled, or not settled by choice. Apart from me."  
"Sam, the holidays are hard. They’re all about togetherness and family and when you don’t have one it hurts. You may not have your own yet, but you are part of this pack. You are so loved here." He nuzzled into your neck as you scratched at his nape. "And you know in your heart of hearts, somewhere out there is a kind, thoughtful Omega, or possibly Beta waiting to meet an Alpha like you. You'll never be _a lot to take on_ for the right partner." 

Sam sat back. He gave a large sigh before he began wiping his cheeks. A good indication his moment of sensitivity was over.  
"You believe that don’t you." He commented as you nodded. "For all his baggage, you've never considered Bucky too much to take on."  
You smiled fondly.  
"Not for a moment." 

Sam nodded.   
"Thanks for listening Pops. I feel better." He gave you a little smile, more sincere than before. "Can I come to work with you today?"  
"I would love you to come work with me..." your brow frowned as you remembered the mess on top of the spare table in your office.  
“Perhaps we could bring our work out to the kitchen? My office needs an organise this week."  
"I'll get my laptop." He hopped down from the stool, pausing as he looked at the light of the elevator. You turned, watching the blinking red light reading the word _error_.   
"The elevators out?" Sam commented.  
"Perhaps they're updating the programme again. Shall I get the kettle on? Coffee?" You asked as you began to stack plates from lunch together.   
Sam nodded finishing the last bite of his sandwich. As he chewed, he reached over the table to take Bucky’s leftover half. He took it with him on his stroll to the stairs, he opened the door with a smile over his shoulder towards you.  
"Get out the good cookies, I'll be back in a sec." 

You set down your laptop, a notebook and a folder of receipts onto the kitchen table, next to a cup of tea, opposite Sam's mug of coffee. Folding your arms, something was missing. Ahhh, your diary, you needed the calendar to organise these receipts. 

Back in your office you heard the door to the stairs slamming shut.   
"Did you want the chocolate chips or the salted caramel?" You called to Sam as you returned to the kitchen. "Because we've got both." 

A woman you had never seen before was stood there, eyeing up the living area. You took in her dishevelled appearance as her head snapped in your direction. Her hair was falling out of its up do, the baby hairs round the front slick to her forehead. Her blue shirt was clinging to her with large shadows of damp under her arms and on her chest. Was she sweating? In fairness you'd be sweatier if you had just walked up 15 flights of stairs. There was a reason even the fittest residents of the compound used the elevators, but regardless of their being out of order, this woman definitely wouldn't have had clearance to enter this section of the compound. A bitter scent was beginning to enter the room behind her. You remembered what a heat scent of. 

"Can I help you Ma'am?" You asked calmly.  
The woman turned to you; her eyes narrowed as she sniffed towards your scent.   
"Housekeeper." The woman growled.  
"Yes, how may I help you?" You asked, trying to keep your tone as neutral as possible. 

You saw the ceiling of your office obscured by her face, screwed up with manic anger as she screamed in your face. You heard her. Something about her Alpha, something about your scent. Something about how you didn’t deserve him. You felt the back of your head throb where it had knocked on the door frame on your way to the floor. You felt the strength of her hands around your throat and the dead weight of her knee on your sternum. Holding you to the floor. The bitter scent of heat stung your nostrils, it was all around you. Suffocating better than she was. 

Pressure. You couldn't breathe. All oxygen that escaped was lost. Nothing allowed in. So much pressure. You wondered what would explode first, maybe your eyes, perhaps your lungs. There was no fresh air. You were running on empty. Your hearing was lost, the woman above you no longer making sense. Just a buzz. Louder and louder. 

As the room began to fade at the corners, the women’s face disappeared from view. The pressure on your throat and chest was relieved. Air was able to enter you with every breath, but it wasn’t enough. You were gulping, and you still couldn’t breathe. It hurt.  
A strong pair of hands were holding the sides of your face, gentle this time. 

Bucky's face swam into view.


	21. 3rd January #3

Bucky hammered up the last flight of stairs as Sam thundered down the set above.  
"What's happening?" Sam shouted as he jumped the last 3 steps and wrenched open the door.  
"Check Poppins safe!" Bucky answered as he turned onto the last set of stairs.   
  
After 15 flights, even Bucky was wheezing for breath as he flung open the door to the living area. To his right, Sam was dragging Katie out of Poppins office. He tackled her roughly onto her front, struggling to get her hands behind her as she screamed bloody murder.   
"Buck, Pops office. Hurry!" Sam exclaimed inclining his head to her location.  
Bucky watched Sam growl as he bit down hard on the nape of Katie’s neck. She quieted immediately.  
"Enough." Sam commanded, growling in his chest.   
  
"Pops?" Bucky turned into the room to see her lying unconscious on her office floor. Dread filled his chest as he threw himself down next to her. Checking her pulse, he sighed in relief, she definitely had a heartbeat. Next, he placed his cheek over her mouth, trying to feel her breath on his face. He was unable to notice a rise or fall of her chest, nor the feeling of her breath on his cheek. No. She wasn’t breathing. Why wasn’t she? What had Katie done? Bucky took in Poppins throat, the skin irritated to a deeper shade than usual. He didn’t think twice. Plugging her nose he sealed his mouth over hers and blew his own air back into her lungs.

1st attempt. Nothing. Where was back up? 2nd attempt. Nothing. What was Sam doing out there? 3rd Attempt. Poppins gasped for air. Her hands made their way to her throat, hoping to free it from constriction. Bucky felt his own breath shudder in relief as he held her cheeks as gently as possible.

"Pops, can you hear me? can you speak?"   
  
Poppin made an awful sound in reply, between a gasp and a gulp, her breaths were shallow. Too shallow. Her eyes opened sluggishly, she looked around in search for him. Bucky watched her line-of-sight find him as she began drawing in wheezy draughts of air. She focused on him. Bucky’s heart crumpled in his chest as he took in her state.   
  
Both eyes had become a demonic red as her blood vessels burst on both sides of her eyes. Her throat looked angry where it appeared Katie had been holding her down. Bruising would be coming up along her jaw in the next few days where capillaries had burst under pressure. Bucky dread the extent of how much pain and discomfort she was in right now, and what she would be when the bruises on her throat made their way to the surface.

"Bu..." Poppin tried hard to grasp his name, but no sound was escaping. Bucky leant closer, nuzzling his nose against hers as he tried to settle her   
"You're okay Pops, you're okay." He pulled away to caress her cheek. "You're safe now, we got you."  
"Bucky." Poppin could only mime as she began to sob.  
"You're okay. You'll be okay." He looked around the room, he couldn’t see anything soft to wrap around her. Why didn’t she have blankets in here?! He didn’t want to leave her. But she needed to be comfortable. The recovery position. Yes. Put her in the recovery position. “Pops I’m gonna... I’m gonna move you onto your side okay? Just gonna place your hand up here.”

Bucky talked to her as he placed the back of her right hand onto her left cheek. He lifted her right leg into a bent position and rolled her over to the left. Making sure her left arm was out of the way, and that she was comfortable. He knew this position was preferable to keep her airway clear.

Bucky swallowed hard. He needed to be strong. For Poppin, and for himself. Now was not the time to show weakness, not when she needed him right now. Get the game face on. The professional one who knew what to do in a crisis.   
  
"Is that comfy Pops?" He asked "Can you breathe better?"  
Poppins head nodded just a minuscule amount.  
"Yes." She croaked, barely a whisper.  
"Good girl. You're doing good Pops. Gonna have help on the way in no time." Bucky nuzzled her cheek against as she continued to sob. Her breath still wheezing, discomfort etched all over her features.  
"Throat burns." She croaked, shutting her eyes for a moment before they reopened to find him. Bucky leant down so his face was parallel with her. He wanted her to know he was there at all times. "Buck, I'm scared."  
Bucky ducked forward to kiss her lips gently. Quickly.  
"I’m scared too, but you're doing so good." He noticed her eyes has closed again. He couldn’t afford for her to lose consciousness again, not now. Not while they were here in their own. He needed help. She needed a doctor. Someone to assess the damage Katie had caused. Someone to tell them she would be okay. Someone who would _know_ if she would be okay.   
  
"Hey, Keep your eyes opened for me Pops." Bucky stroked her temple with his thumb, trying to keep her grounded. She slowly lifted her lids to look at him, she seemed sluggish, like they were extra heavy. A lot of work for her.  
"That's my girl." Bucky kissed her cheek once more, teasing a small smile out of his housekeeper.   
  
Bucky heard the elevator ding open and multiple stomping boots entered the living area. Security was here, in the living area. He heard them shouting at Katie.  
A familiar scent of coconut appeared in the room as Natasha kneeled down next to Bucky.  
"Hey Pops," she smiled softly "Bucky, you holding up okay?"   
He nodded in reply  
"Good, Sam has been compromised, Katie's heat has induced his rut. Is this the position you found Pops in?" Nat gestured to Poppin, still below him.   
  
Bucky shook his head as he turned to see Poppins eyes had fallen shut again,   
"Pops, open your eyes for me?" He soothed. She fluttered them back open, a whine emanating from her. "She was unconscious on her back when I got here. I gave her mouth to mouth and moved her into recovery."   
  
Nat placed her hand on Bucky’s shoulder with a smile. It was warm and gentle, as if she knew he also needed comfort and support right now.  
"The medics are here now, we need to give them space."  
"I don’t want to leave her."  
"You're not leaving her, you're letting medics get closer." She reasoned gently.  
Bucky felt his resolve breaking and panic began to bubble up inside him once more. He wanted her to be okay, but he didn’t want a stranger to touch his Omega, not when she was hurting. He didn’t trust anyone else to look out for her. His nose began to sting as his vision blurred. He looked down at Poppin.  
"Bucky, stay, please." She croaked, tears leaking down across the bridge if her nose.  
"I'm not going anywhere Pops." He promised.   
  
Bucky looked up at Nat.   
"I can’t leave her Nat." He repeated.  
Nat sighed. She jumped up to talk to a medic standing nearby, she returned straight away.  
"Come sit here, you need to hold Poppins head still as they get her on a stretcher." She gestured to Bucky to move to the top of Poppins head. Poppin whined a little louder.  
"No Nat," Poppin tried to argue.  
"Pops, you need to be examined." Nat tried to console her. Poppin began to sob again, big breaths struggling to make their way through her windpipe.   
  
Bucky felt a calming presence touch his shoulder. Bruce was kneeling next to him. Bucky wasn’t sure he had ever been this happy to see him.  
"You okay?" Bruce asked. Bucky nodded, although he knew his glossy eyes were giving him away. Holding it together was not the same as okay, but he was happy to pretend right now in front of Poppin.  
"Hey Pops, I hear you're having a tough day at the office," Bruce smiled gently. “May I have a look at you?"   
Poppin tried to nod in approval. Bucky shuffled himself to the left, so he was no longer holding himself above her. Poppin whined as she closed her eyes. Bucky began running his hand up and down her arm, trying to soothe her.  
"Do you know what happened here?"   
Bucky looked at Nat, then back to Bruce. Nat spoke.  
"Katie tried to strangle her, she was leant on Pops chest when Sam dragged her off."   
  
Bruce was slowly touching Poppins throat, she was flinching under his finger tips.  
"Pops can you wiggle your toes for me? Good girl. Does anywhere else hurt? Other than your throat and where she knelt on you?"  
"Head." Poppin croaked "the back."   
Bruce nodded "okay, no worries Pops. I’m glad it looks like we don’t have any spinal injuries but to be crystal clear I'd like to get you on a stretcher for an x-ray in the med bay. We need to check for a concussion and any injuries to your neck."  
"I want to go home." Poppin croaked with as much effort as she could muster.  
"You'll be home before we know it Pops, just got to make sure you're all-in order. Bucky will stay with you every step of the way." Bruce smiled at Poppin, then Bucky.  
"You promise?' Bucky asked   
"I promise." Bruce nodded. "Now I need Bucky to assist me getting you on a stretcher with the help of some other guys from the medical bay."  
  
  
  
Bucky pulled his bedcovers up and around Poppins shoulders, she smiled sleepily at him.   
"Did the extra pillow help? Are you comfortable?" He tucked the covers up around each side of her. Poppin hummed in approval as she watched him potter about, shutting the blinds to his room. When he couldn’t procrastinate anymore he returned to her side. Her eyelids were heavy, she was struggling to stay awake.   
  
"Bucky, you did so well today. The packs so proud of you." She croaked. Smiling through her obvious discomfort. The prescriptions of anti inflammatory and pain relief were making their way into her system. "Come closer, cuddle me."  
Bucky bent forward to nuzzle her cheek. "I'll be in in a minute, going to say goodnight to Nat and Steve."  
Poppin hummed again as her eyes closed slowly.   
  
Stroking her hair, Bucky watched his Omega fall into slumber. Encased in his bed covers, her neck propped up with an extra pillow to support her. She was secure. She was comfortable. She was safe.   
He wrenched himself away from her. Turning off his bedside lamp he left her in darkness to return back to his living area.   
  
Nat and Steve were sat at his kitchen table in silence. They both smiled as he sat down next to Steve. Nat was reading Bruce’s medical report.  
"We agree with her Buck. You did good today." Steve complimented him.   
  
Bucky hid his head in his hands as the stress of today finally succeeded in eating away at his resolve. He was feeling exhausted, and guilty and sad.   
  
Today was all his fault. He had brought Katie onto the compound. He had lost his key. He had rejected Katie's advances. Now Katie was in custody. Sam had been tipped into a rut. Steve and Poppin had been hurt. Bucky didn’t want to think of the consequences that could have been if they hadn’t got to the resident’s lounge so quickly, but they were obvious. Poppin could have died because he hadn’t bonded with her. Katie thought if she was in heat, he would begin a rut and bond with her. If he had just bonded with his housekeeper, Katie would have had to accept it and Poppin would have been safe upstairs.   
  
Large tears rolled down the seams where his hands met his cheeks. He had stopped himself from crying multiple times today. But not now. Not here. Here was his safe place. A shuddered breath escaped without his consent. Steve rest a comforting hand upon Bucky’s shoulder as he dissolved into sobs.   
  
"It’s my fault." He mumbled into his skin  
"Today was not your fault Buck." Steve answered.  
"Poppin will be okay. Bruce said she has a concussion and bruising but...”  
“Extensive muscular bruising to her windpipe.” Bucky interrupted Nat. “and he thinks her head trauma could give her a black eye.”  
“But nothing a few good night’s sleep and some soup wont sort." Nat soothed. "You aren’t in control of Katie's actions."   
  
Bucky looked to his bedroom where he could see the subtle lump of Poppins feet under his covers. His Omega was supposed to relax him, she was supposed to feel like home. Instead, he felt repulsed. He was tense. She was a reminder of his failings. For her, Steve and Sam who had all got into harm’s way. For everyone who came across him and ended up worse off. If Poppin had died under Katie today, she would just be another name on a long list of his victims.   
  
"I'm the reason Katie was here." He shuddered another breath "She didn’t need to be teaching me history. I lost my key. I just used the other one instead of replacing the key card. She should never have had access to Poppin. I put her in danger and now not only is she hurt because of me. You are. Sam is. It’s my fault. I hurt people even when I don’t mean to. Mostly when I don’t mean to."   
  
Steve cleared his throat.  
"Buck, you cannot take responsibility for the actions of another. No matter how you feel you may have input into their actions, it was their own thought process that brought them to that conclusion. Katie's actions are hers and hers alone."   
Steve was rubbing circular patterns on Bucky’s back as he regained some composure. Wiping his cheeks, he noticed Nat had acquired a box of tissues for him to wipe his eyes.   
"In my opinion, Katie would still have stopped her suppressants to begin a heat, she would still have assaulted me when I entered the room with you. She would probably have managed to bond with you. She would probably still have set off an Alpha to rut whilst being arrested. She would still have ended her day in custody. In comparison, sure, I've got a headache and Sam's stuck in a rut a few days. But you're still free to bond with Poppin. Poppin is here, she is safe and she will heal with no lasting damage."  
"Honestly Bucky, the Living Quarters are the first door out of that damn stairway after 15 floors. If the Residents Apartments had been behind that door, I think Katie would have got off there. She didn’t know where she was going. She didn’t know who she would bump into. The fact she found Poppin before your Apartment is just bad coincidence." Nat concluded as she walked round the table to embrace him in a hug he hadn’t realised he needed.  
"Pops doesn’t want you to beat yourself up. She wants you to get into that bed and cuddle her." She murmured into his hairline. Bucky nodded in response. She let him go then, saying their goodnight they left him alone in his apartment with his thoughts.   
  
Checking on Poppin on his side of the bed, she hadn’t moved. Out for the count. Banner had said she would be. Bucky didn’t want to disturb her, change any angles of her sleep and put any pressure on her neck muscles. So he crossed the room to his wardrobe and pulled out a spare duvet. He took the spare pillow on her usual side of the bed and he laid down next to her on the floor. If she needed him, he would hear her. But he wouldn’t disturb her. Not whilst she had so much muscle damage in her throat to heal.   
  
Staring at the ceiling, thick dribbles of tears escaped his eyes again, this time falling down the sides of his temples.   
  
In Bucky’s opinion, it appeared to be a fact that anyone he encountered would be hurt, simply from his acquaintance, even in the safety of this secure compound. How many scrapes had Steve got into because of him? How many fights did Sam and Nat have to get involved in once they joined the fight to get him away from HYDRA?   
Poppin had got hurt because he wasn’t bonded to her. But if he had bonded with her, she would then always be a target for the people who wanted to get to him. His mate. His love. His heart. The quickest way to Bucky would be through her. Anyone with upset towards him could easily get access to her. She was defenceless. Untrained. All they needed was access to the compound. Katie wouldn’t be the last now the safety bubble around the resident’s lounge had been burst. HYDRA was still out there, beyond the compound gates, no doubt biding their time to reclaim what was left of their Asset.   
  
Bucky heart broke as he laid there. Rainy day drizzle whirling around his mind worse than ever before. He was meant to be hopeful now. His path was meant to be straightforward. As were his choices.   
  
Tomorrow he would talk to Poppin.   
  
Tomorrow he would tell her he would keep her safe, but in order to achieve that, they could no longer Bond.


	22. 4th January

Poppin couldn't move her limbs, nor could she scent the familiarity of her room.  
  
Cracking an eye open, you studied the unfamiliar wall behind an empty untouched side of bed. This wasn’t your space. Recognisable, but not your own.  
Trying to move your limbs appeared more difficult than usual, your arms and legs were constricted by your bed covers. Your head was unable to lift due to a strain in your neck. Oh. Yesterday.  
  
Remembering that woman's face above you. Her rage. Your panic. The overwhelming stench of her heat was stuck in your nose. You couldn’t swallow, your throat too dry. Too painful. You couldn’t sit up. It strained too much. Confused, you gasped for air. Where was Bucky? You needed him nearby. A strangled cry left you as you fought with his bed covers. This could possibly be the worst sore throat you had ever woken up with. You felt puffy and swollen all over like you had been hit in the head with a cold.  
  
Bucky appeared in your line of sight, just as he had yesterday. He sat down next to you on the edge of the bed. His brows furrowed in concern as he cupped your cheeks. His eyes still sleepy, as he gazed at you.  
"Pops," he soothed "Are you okay?"  
You whined as you managed to turn towards him.  
"My throat is so sore."  
"Can I get you some water?" He nuzzled at your nose, calming you. You tried to nod, but your neck was too stiff.  
"Please," you croaked up to him. He was busy assessing the marks on your neck, his jaw tensed.  
"Let me find your prescriptions from Banner." He got up from the bed and ran towards the kitchen.  
  
He was gentle as he assisted you in sitting up, helping you swallow half a glass of water and then handing you the correct pills you needed to soothe your discomfort.  
"Can you come to bed?" You asked, "I could do with a cuddle."  
Bucky leant forward to linger a kiss on your forehead.  
"Soon Pops, tuck down a sleep a little longer. I'll go get us some food in, perhaps some yogurt and honey for breakfast?" You nodded in agreement as you crawled back down under the covers. He stood, bending back over you to kiss your temple before he walked away and out the apartment.  
  
You noted his tone was loving, but something felt wrong. The Bucky you knew, the one who refused to move from you yesterday, would never leave you alone. The Bucky from yesterday would have come to bed. Held you closely and refused to move until you were ready. You weren’t sure what it was that was making him so uncomfortable to near you, but this time, it didn’t feel like your usual insecurity niggling away at you. He had been staring at your throat long enough, surely it was the bruises you hadn’t seen yet. You weren’t sure you wanted too, but later you'd look. See what the fuss was about. Why he was being distant.  
  
Another thought ran over your mind. When had you become reliant on him? When did his opinion on anything sway yours? Why were you feeling like you had done something wrong? Why did you feel there was a reason why he didn’t want to share a room with you right now? Perhaps you should go back to your own room. Return to your space, allow him to have his back. Yesterday was tough on him. He also needed some time to recuperate.  
  
You felt the pull of your pain medication sway the room. Closing your eyes, you wanted to wait till Bucky returned before napping, but sleep pulled you out of consciousness again before he could return.  
  


  
You woke to the sound of the television in Bucky’s living room, the other side of the bed still empty.  
Definitely something was wrong. Your Bucky, your Alpha would have come to bed with you when he said he would. Did he say he would? You tried to remember what he had said. Soon. Soon was vague. Soon never came soon enough did it.  
  
Struggling with sitting, and the weight of the bed covers you managed to make your way to Bucky’s bathroom. Turning in the bedrooms doorway you could see Bucky laid out on his couch, fast sleep. You grunted with frustration as you used his facilities. The time came to look in the mirror when you were done, the view was the last thing you expected. Blood red where the white of your eyes should be, you looked straight from hell, with a swollen neck and dark red bruising turning a patchy purple across your throat, all the way up your jaw to the ears and even across your right eye. You opened you mouth to see even your tongue a little fatter than usual. No wonder you were uncomfortable. No wonder Bucky was uncomfortable. This wasn’t his Omega. This was unlike anything you had seen before.  
  
You sighed; it would take a while for the swelling to go down, longer for the bruising to soak back up. Perhaps it was a better idea for you to go back to your apartment. You could be comfortable, cook something up on your hot plate and be surrounded by your duvet instead of imposing on Bucky. You picked up your toothbrush from the bathroom, and your prescription packets from Bruce off the bedside table.  
  
Bucky jerked awake as you entered his living area. You paused in the doorway to the bedroom, waiting for him to speak so you could gauge how this conversation would go.  
"You're up," he stated simply as he sat up. You looked to the floor as you nodded.  
"You didn't come to bed," you croaked.  
Silence for a little too long.  
"I didn’t want to wake you." He answered quietly.  
You looked up at him.  
  
"I'm going to go back to my apartment."   
"No." He replied bluntly as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.  
"No?" You didn’t like his tone. Who was upset with who here?  
"You can't, not yet. Bruce told me to care for you for..."  
"I don’t care what Bruce told you." You interrupted with irritation. "You don’t want to look after me today. I get it. It's a lot to take on." Your heart panged as you remembered your conversation with Sam.  
  
_You'll never be a lot to take on for the right partner._  
That's what you had said wasn’t it. Weren’t you just shooting yourself in the foot?  
  
"Stay Poppin. You need to be kept safe." Bucky stood and walked over, taking your hands. You watched him gently take your prescriptions and tooth brush and set them down on his coffee table as he sat you down onto the couch next to him.  
"I am safe." You argued "I need to be close by my Mate, and he’s clocked out today." You stared at him pointedly.  
  
Bucky shifted in his seat. He looked remorseful even as the words left his mouth.  
"Pops, I'm not your Mate." He mumbled. You took in a sharp intake of breath.  
Silence between you. Bucky closed his eyes as he hung his head in his hands. This appeared all too familiar to you. This was the beginning of a breakup. A breakup from an Alpha who didn’t want to bond.  
  
"Poppin, I've been thinking." He began. Your blood ran cold as what you hoped you’d been imagining appeared to be playing out for real. You stared at Bucky for a moment.  
"You don’t want to bond with me?"  
"I need to keep you safe...” He shuddered another breath  
  
_"_ Bucky. Do you want to bond with me?" You repeated louder. Blunter  
"I need to keep you safe," he repeated "Yesterday was my fault."  
"It wasn’t your fault!" You croaked leaning onto the floor at his feet, you placed your hands on his knees like you had before. Bucky was refusing to look at you.  
"She was on the compound for me. She won’t be the last breach of security in here. If we bond... You'll be put in danger. You'll be a beacon to everyone I've ever done wrong. A way to get back at me through no fault of your own." He looked up at you with red puffy eyes as tears dribbled down his cheeks.  
"Bucky, you're over thinking. This is shock and anxiety talking." You cupped his cheek as you nuzzled your nose against him.  
"Pops. I can’t bond with you." He sobbed. You dropped your hands in shock as you sat, kneeling in front of him.  
  
What. No. Not again. Another Alpha rejecting you. No. Not just any Alpha. _Your_ Alpha. Your True Mate. Your Soul Mate. The Alpha who brought your scent back from nowhere. He was rejecting you. Your concept of bond. Your relationship as you knew it. The intimacy you had been building together. Gone? You felt your stomach drop in realisation of what he was stating. Not again. You needed to leave. You needed air. You needed space. You would leave this apartment. Now. Quickly. With your dignity intact.  
  
You struggled, but you managed to get up from the floor without leaning on him. Breathing hard before you began to cry, you snatched up your prescription packets and toothbrush and paced to his door. Bucky faltered as he watched you take your things and swing his front door open. You could practically see the cogs turning as he realised what you were doing.  
"Where are you going?" He asked desperately as he stood. He edged closer to the door, watching you take a step back, away from him.  
"Can’t, or wont?" You asked bluntly.  
Bucky blinked. He looked as if he didn’t understand your question.  
  
Hot tears were burning your eyes as your heart broke. You knew Bucky could see it written all over your face. Regret splayed all over his own features as he cried back at you. He said nothing.  
  
Turning to leave his apartment quickly, it took him a moment to understand you had walked away from him. Bucky sprang into action, running down the corridor after you.  
"Pops, wait, let me explain," he called as he reached you.  
  
You turned to him in front of your apartment door as the last string of your patience snapped in two.  
"If you don’t want to bond with me then simply don’t. I don’t need you to. I want an Alpha who's proud of me. Who wants to build a life with me. Not an Alpha who makes excuses when shit hits the fan." Your voice croaked as loud as it could with the damage to your inflamed voice box. As you turned back to the door, he struck out to take hold of your arm.  
  
You heard a door in the corridor open. Steve was striding towards you both, watching the interaction with a furrowed brow.  
Bucky whined low in his chest making you pause to frown at him.  
"I'm not making excuses." He grunted out. "Not when it comes to you. You are my..."  
You growled back. It caused you obvious pain as your face crumpled in discomfort, but it distracted him long enough to wrench your arm away from his grasp.  
Steve had reached the two of you. He looked between you.  
"Buck?"  
  
"I am your nothing. Give me space." You snapped in a commanding tone before turning on your heel and slamming your apartment door in his face.  
  
Bucky didn’t get to see the ugly crying, but he probably heard the loud sobs that wrenched out of you without any control as you crawled into your cold bed.  
  
You could hear Bucky banging on your door and Steve talking him down as he cried for you to come listen to him. To open the door again. To understand why this was the best way forward. To know this was how he would keep you safe from HYDRA.  
Steve was arguing with him. Telling him not to make this worse as he managed to turn him back towards his room.  
  
Quiet.  
You lay in your bed wondering if that was the first and last time Bucky had fought for you.


	23. 4th January #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must apologise for any distress caused in the previous chapter, and again, thank you for taking the time to comment your feelings.  
> Whilst I'm not proud of the way I made you all sad, I'm super excited I made you feel feelings and for that I'M NOT SORRY.
> 
> That being said, I can't let you all wait a week on that bummer of a scenario,  
> so may I introduce, possibly one of my favourite chapters so far: your closest friends intervene.

Steve sat on Bucky’s sofa, his fingertips pinching the bridge of his nose.  
"What am I going to do with you." He grumbled.  
  
Bucky sat next to him, wrapped up in a blanket from the living area. It had scented particularly of Poppin so he had acquired it for his room. He was using it to wipe away the thick tears dribbling down his cheeks.  
  
"I can’t deal with this shit by myself. You know that. You couldn’t wait till Sam's finished his rut before pulling a stunt like this. Buck. What were you thinking?!" Steve exclaimed turning to look at him. Bucky flinched under his hard stare.  
"I thought it was for the best." He mumbled.  
"You thought it was for the best to tell your prospective Mate you couldn’t bond with her?" Steve exclaimed as he pulled his phone from his pocket. He pointed a finger in Bucky’s face. "Don’t answer that."  
Steve dialled a number, tapping his foot whilst he waited for the other line to answer. Bucky heard a click.  
"Sam, Buck and I are coming round. Get decent. I know it’s against rut cycle protocol, but I need back up here. Bucky told Poppin he can’t bond with her. Yep. See you in a sec." Steve pocketed his phone. "Get up. Let's see what Sam makes of this."  
  
Sam’s apartment was the other end of the corridor to Poppins. As they got closer, the scent of sweat and arousal became stronger. Not as potent as the scent of heat, this wasn’t designed to be a beacon to others, this was the subtle reply. It permeated Bucky’s nose just as it had sank into Sam’s furnishings.  
  
Sam was sat in an armchair next to his fully opened windows when Steve let the two of them in. His skin, only clothed by a tented pair of boxers was a sweaty sheen as he fanned himself with a magazine.  
"Sam, I said make yourself decent." Steve grumbled as he sat down next to Bucky on Sam's couch. "You're a mess."  
"Thanks for noticing, Captain Obvious." Sam glared at the two of them. "You want me to sort myself out whilst you're sat on my couch?"  
  
Steve grunted in disgust.  
"There’s a reason Ruts get a 3-day privacy quarantine." Sam glared at the two of them. "Let’s make this quick. What the hell you say to Poppin?"  
Bucky flinched under Sam's glare.  
  
"He told her he couldn’t bond with her." Steve offered, also staring at Bucky.  
"It’s for her safety." He mumbled.  
"Her safety?" Sam repeated "Buck, _you're_ supposed to be her safety."  
Bucky felt his lip wobble as he began to cry again. He pulled the blanket up and over his head, hiding himself from Steve and Sam.  
"I can’t keep her safe."  
"You ain't even trying to keep her safe. You just gave up on her. Rejected her. You know how long she’s been waiting for an Alpha like you? You know how many True Mates you get in a lifetime Buck? One. She is it man. There ain't a plan B Omega waiting for you with combat skills. Natasha's taken."  
  
A fist was pummelling on the door making all 3 Alphas jump. Bucky pulled the blanket back down to his shoulders again.  
"Speaking of..." Steve muttered as he stood.  
"Open up Wilson. Let me at him." Nat commanded  
"You told Nat?" Sam snapped to Steve as he stood up to retrieve a towel from his bathroom. "Oh hell. Bucky get ready. Bold move bringing your Omega into my rut space Steve."  
"She’s bonded." Steve snapped "you won’t affect her."  
"You confident you bit her hard enough?" Sam retorted.  
  
Sam managed to sit back down, grouping the towel in his lap to hide his bulge as Steve allowed Nat to enter the apartment.  
She stalked in slowly surveyed the room, catching sight of Bucky sat on the couch. Her face a stone-cold facade until she grabbed a mug from the kitchen table and threw it at Bucky’s head. He caught it before it hit him square on the nose and placed it on the floor as she strode towards him.

"What are you playing at?" She asked far too calmly. Bucky felt his heart rate quicken.  
"I..."  
"Don’t even say you’re sorry. We don’t want to hear it." She snapped pointing her finger in his face. Bucky fell silent, chewing in his cheek.  
"Your Omega is currently alone, injured and heartbroken in her apartment and everything is thanks to you. _Alpha_."  
"Buck." Sam grumbled "You have one job. Make your Omega happy."  
"I can't..." Bucky began,  
  
Nat stepped forward to smack him upside the head with a growl.  
"Bucky. All Poppin has wanted since the day you arrived is for you to spend time with her. Be close to her. She has looked for you every day since you arrived and in return you reject her bond at the first challenge?"  
Bucky looked up at her sheepishly.  
"I just don’t know how I can keep her safe." He mumbled. Natasha growled again.  
"You keep her safe by being there for her when she needs you most. _Now_ , would be a great time to begin Bucky Barnes. She needs..."  
"Consistency and Security." Bucky interrupted.  
  
Nat looked pleasantly surprised.  
"So you do know the basics." She answered as she paced back and forth.

"Stop thinking and start listening." Natasha scolded,  
"If you aren’t careful you will lose your Omega by the end of today." She stopped in front of him to glare. “You have two options." She held up a finger and a thumb to demonstrate her point. One dropped down. "You either step up as her Alpha and present your intentions to bond or." She paused to take a deep breath, swapping her fingers to elevate the other. "Or you let her go. I'm about to go see her and my advice will be based on your answer. If you're not going to be her Alpha, then I think it’s high time Loki steps up. He’s willing. He can provide for her and protect her. One phone call and they'll no doubt organise her to visit Asgard."  
  


"She can't go to Asgard. She won’t come back!" Sam exclaimed. Both he and Natasha turned to glare at Bucky. "Buck. We can’t lose Pops."  
"I'll present." Bucky rushed. Knowing there had been no contest between the options.  
"Bucky Barnes. Are you sure you're prepared to put in the effort?" Nat asked, giving him a hard stare.  
Bucky nodded.  
"Bucky Barnes. Do you want to be Poppins Alpha?" Nat asked.  
Bucky nodded.  
"Why?" Nat asked folding her arms in front of her  
"Why?" Bucky repeated  
"Why." Nat answered. "Why are you the best Alpha for the job. Why not Loki."  
Bucky faltered. He wasn’t sure. Loki _was_ a good choice, but Loki wasn’t him. _He_ wanted her. He felt his mouth opening and closing like a fish as he floundered for an answer. Both Sam and Steve were sitting forward on tender hooks waiting for what he would say.  
  
"Because..." he began, feeling panic swelling in his chest.  
"Because you are the best Alpha for the position?" Natasha offered him.  
"Yes." He mumbled  
"You're better than Loki."  
"Yes." He answered more confidently.  
"You're her True Mate."  
"Yes."  
"You'll protect,"  
"Yes."  
"You'll care."  
"Yes."  
"You'll support."  
"Yes."  
"And you love her."  
"YES." Bucky barked in reply before he realised what she had asked. His hand flew to his mouth in shock as Natasha, Steve and Sam all grinned at him.  
  
"Good. I'll recommend Poppin forgive you then." Nat smirked as she laid a quick kiss on Steve's forehead before strolling out Sam's apartment as abruptly as she burst in.  
  
The three Alphas sat dumbfounded at the display that just occurred.  
"I mean, fuck being on the end of an angry Omega. Maybe I'll just stay unbonded after all." Sam muttered  
“You love Poppin?” Steve repeated as he grinned like a Cheshire cat.  
“The question is does Poppin still love you after what you did?” Sam taunted.  
“Poppin loves Bucky?” Steve asked  
Bucky sat with his head in his hands.  
"My Omega hates me."  
"No, I hate you. Poppin's disappointed in you. That's much worse." Sam retorted impatiently.  
  
"What does she mean by stop thinking and start listening?" Bucky asked Steve quietly. Sam sighed.  
"Buck, your problem is you're not listening to your instincts. You're over thinking everything when the answer is already in your blood. Let your Alpha do the talking." Steve sighed as he clapped a hand on his shoulders. "He knows what to do. Let him take the reins."  
  
Bucky nodded to his feet, thinking over what Natasha had just done. She was the most terrifying of hype men. Had she really just pumped up his confidence to admit he was in love with Poppin? Because he was right? He completely was. The idea of her being bonded to anyone else, even Loki gave him the shivers.  
  
"I don’t mean to be rude, but are we done here? Can I get some privacy back?" Sam interrupted his train of thought. Steve stood, thanking Sam for his help as they were shepherded out of his apartment. He turned to Bucky in the corridor.  
  
"Right. What's your instinct." Steve asked bluntly "what do you want to do now?"  
Bucky took a deep breath as he sought the answer.  
"I want you to take me to a hardware store."  
Steve's blonde eyebrows shot up.  
"Do you not want to go apologise to Poppin?" He asked sceptically  
"I do. I will. But first I need to get supplies."  
"Supplies?"  
  
Bucky smiled for the first time since the weekend.  
"I'm going to apologise to Poppin, then I'm going to build her a nest."


	24. 5th January

Poppin's head was pounding as she awoke to the sound of humming from behind.  
  
Opening a bleary eye, you were met with the sight of your bedroom wall . You were in your apartment. Home. You closed your eyes again.  
  
Your altercation with Bucky yesterday had soaked disappointment and hurt into your bones nearly as deep as the bruising around your neck.  
  
Slamming the door to your apartment in his face, you had hidden under your duvet until Steve managed to lead him away. You had then called Nat whilst crying hysterically. She had managed to soothe you enough to breathe properly when she received a text from Steve updating her on the situation. Just as well really, you had no idea where to begin explaining what occurred between you and Bucky when you weren’t sure yourself.  
  
She had knocked gently on your door as soon as she was able, only to tuck you back up into bed with the encouraging news she had already left Bucky crying in Sam's rut drenched room, cuddled in a blanket that scent of you. She had told you not to take what he said to heart. To wait it out. Bucky was already remorseful. He would be back. She was sure of it.  
"Go back to sleep Pops, I'll come check on you tomorrow after my meetings are done." Nat had soothed you to sleep by stroking your hair. You hadn’t heard her leave.  
  
The humming continued.  
You opened your eyes again; someone was humming in your apartment.  
  
Rolling onto your back you turned to look down to the kitchen. A tall figure was stood with his back to you wearing a familiar set of loungewear you had kept in your spare drawer. He was stirring a large pot on your portable hot plate. The device you used to cook on when you didn’t want to use the communal kitchen. You watched his dark shoulder length hair sway as he reached for a tablespoon. He tested the contents of the pot. Making a pleased noise. He turned when he felt your eyes on him.  
  
"Hello Little One." Loki greeted cheerfully  
"Lo, what are you doing?" You rasped as he came to sit on the edge of your bed. Slowly you sat up, wincing as your neck muscles strained.  
  
A frown crossed his features as he inspected the bruising on your throat. He hummed in thought as he held his palms up on either side of your neck, a pleasant warmth pushed through them, soothing your aches. Easing deep into the tissue and muscle you felt it creep up into your jaw, up towards your ears, and down your windpipe.  
  
Loki leaned forward to lay a kiss upon your forehead. He pulled his hands away, instead finding your own and holding them tight.  
"I'm taking care of you." He replied with a smile "does that feel more comfortable?"  
You stretched your jaw, hummed and swallowed. The feeling of razors was gone, the swelling was gone. You felt positively regular again.  
"So much, thank you." You replied, listening to your regular voice back. Embracing him into a hug.  
"I can’t do anything for the bruising I'm afraid, that blood is already spilt. But it’ll clear up quick enough." He explained as he rubbed your back.  
  
"Lo, what are you doing in my room?" You repeated.  
"I received messages from Wilson and Romanoff. I decided it was high time I visited only to find you healing alone. So, I'm taking care of you, as an Alpha should. Where is your Alpha?"  
"I don’t have an Alpha." You replied  
"Where is Barnes?" Loki asked pointedly "He should be here."  
You bit your lip as you tried to answer diplomatically  
"We've had a disagreement." You admitted.  
"Oh?"  
"I don’t want to talk about it."  
"How did you leave it?" Loki asked  
"I told him to give me space... and slammed my door in his face." Loki chuckled  
"Well done Little One, I'd expect nothing less."  
  
The scent of your kitchen was enveloping around the room.  
"Are you cooking soup?" You asked excitedly. Loki beamed as he held out his hand for you to take.  
"Spicy parsnip soup." He replied with an eyebrow wiggle as he helped release you from your bed covers, leading you to your sofa where he draped a blanket over your knees as you got comfortable.  
"It’s been a while since we had soup and blankets. I also found some chocolate in the kitchen we could grate into hot cocoa if you wish?" Loki smiled affectionately at you as he stood to dish up a steaming bowl of comfort.  
  
"What time is it?" You asked  
"Nearly noon." Loki replied as he sat down next to you. He messed around fussing with the blanket till it covered his knees.  
"I can’t remember the last time I slept this late." You frowned. It was unlike you to sleep for so long uninterrupted. "And what time did you get here?" You asked taking a sip of soup. You hummed in appreciation.  
"I arrived last night; do you not remember?" Loki was looking a bit sheepish. A consistently bad sign.  
"What did you do?" You tried to chastise him.  
"It was just a little stew." He admitted " Mother would make it for us when we were in need of healing."  
You raised an eyebrow.  
"You forgot I wasn’t Asgardian." You stated.  
"I forgot you weren’t Asgardian." He agreed pursing his lips together. "My apologies Little One, it was, regrettably more potent for you than I intended."  
  
You both lulled into a comfortable silence as you enjoyed your lunch. Loki cleared his throat.  
"So. What was your disagreement about?"  
"I don’t want to talk about it." You repeated.  
"You know I'll just keep asking until you tell me... or perhaps I should go ask Barnes?" Loki suggested as he gave your knee a squeeze.  
  
You sighed, sitting your bowl carefully into your lap. Your vision blurred without your consent.   
"You know what happened right?" You asked. Loki nodded.  
"He blames himself. He said, he needed to protect me. And to do that he couldn’t bond with me. He said I would be targeted for his crimes."  
You fought to keep your eyes open, wishing for them to soak up their extra moisture.  
"I beg your pardon?" Loki snapped. "It is his role to protect you from his past crimes."  
You looked to Loki as a tear fell down your cheek.  
"I get it. I do. He blames himself for having the tutor on site. I just hoped... we were getting so close. Making progress. I thought we might bond any day now." You admitted  
  
"Little One, have you fallen in love with this Alpha?" Loki asked gently. Gazing back at him you nodded speechlessly. It felt wrong to say the words out loud, but you’d been thinking them over and over in your head. Loki sighed.  
"If I could talk some sense into your Alpha, would you still wish to bond with him?" He asked.  
"I don’t want you to talk to him Lo. He’s made his choice. I'll stand by it."  
"Little One, you deserve an Alpha."  
  
You felt that cloud of irritable rage in your chest again.  
"Perhaps. But I don’t _need_ one. I am fine by myself until someone decides I _need_ an Alpha to take care of me." You snapped "Then everything becomes complicated for no reason."  
  
The door knocked, both of you turning to look at it the way you had when Steve had burst in. It was knocked on again, a little more confidently. Fighting with your blanket you placed your bowl of soup down on your coffee table. Your limbs felt stiff as you shuffled to the door. You checked your peephole to see Bucky stood, wringing his hands together.  
"What do you want." You grumbled through the door. He looked stricken.  
"I need to apologise."  
  
You opened the door, just enough to pop your shoulders out. Not enough for him to see Loki sat on your couch.  
"I don’t want to discuss this." You admitted "Not yet."  
Bucky nodded, mainly to his feet as he kept darting looks up towards you.  
"You sound better. You look better too. Not the bruising. That’s got worse. I mean, you’re looking better rested." He mumbled, he tried to give you a small smile.  
"I slept well last night." You admitted. You couldn't bring yourself to smile at him. Not when the sight of him was making you feel sick. Butterflies in your belly and flutters of the heart were normal when Bucky was around you, but today felt off. Rotten.  
Bucky was nodding shyly at you.  
"I just, need you to know I'm sorry. I regret yesterday. No, I know, we can talk another time." He shut you down as you began to protest, unable to catch your eye now, he stared at his socks. "I just need you to know. I'm so sorry Pops."  
  
Looking back up at you, you could see his eyes going red and glossy. Much like yours probably were. You swallowed hard as you looked behind you. Loki was sat leaning on his fist, listening. His crossed legs were bobbing as a smirk spread over his face. He wiggled an eyebrow at you. You cleared your throat.  
"I hear you." Was all the acknowledgement you were able to give him.  
  
Bucky sighed deeply. But nodded again.  
"Thank you. Omega." He forced a smile. "I'll try again tomorrow."  
Without waiting for your reply he turned and strode back up the corridor. You frowned as you shut the door.  
  
That wasn't a Bucky way of handling things. That was a mature Alpha way of handling things. Polite. To the point. Accepting of your answer. The unsettled feeling returned to one of curiosity and excitement, but only for a moment before you remembered why you were so hurt in the first place.  
  
"Do we know what caused him to believe his abandonment would save you from harm?" Loki asked as he rose from the couch, strolling the minimal steps to your kitchen he flicked your kettle on as you resettled on the couch. He leant back against your kitchen side, arms crossed in thought.  
"Anxiety and guilt mostly." You mumbled.  
"Why should that make him forfeit his duties to you?" Loki asked  
"Lo, be kind. You know he struggles with his mental health." You finished off your soup. As you laid down your spoon Loki was back towards you, arm outstretched to take it back to the kitchen. You smiled thankfully. He came to sit back next to you with two cups of hot tea.  
  
"Mental health. He is compromised mentally?" Loki answered looking alarmed.  
"What? No." You swat him with the back of your hand. Loki smirked.  
"Do you remember something called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?” You asked, Loki screwed up his nose.  
"Bucky struggles moderating his mood. He over analyses situations. How he processes events is different. Like you, when you lived here." You explained  
"I am not compromised to process events." Loki grumbled  
"Only because we went Upstairs to soothe your symptoms." You replied. Loki smiled and nodded as he remembered.  
  
"So why haven’t you taken Barnes Upstairs?" He asked  
"Pardon?"  
"Why haven't you taken Barnes Upstairs?" Loki repeated "If it worked for me, surely it could work for him?"  
You paused to consider.  
"I hadn’t thought about it." You admitted. "I guess I don’t go up there much in Winter. I did get a chimenea for Christmas from Stark. It's a bit heavy for me to carry though."  
  
Loki smiled wide.  
"I feel a plan is forming. Where is your chimney now? I can take it Upstairs for you without anyone seeing. Then we can settle in with some films before I need to return home."  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bravo to ToboldHornblowerOldTobyFinestTOLKEINWeed for predicting Poppins visitor 😉


	25. 5th January #2

Bucky wrapped his arm tighter around Poppins waist, nuzzling into her shoulder he took a large breath of her scent before peppering some kisses down towards her neck, making her shiver.  
  
He hummed in contentment as his nose brushed against her unmarked mating gland. Soon. Soon they would be bonded and all of this would be forgotten. She would take him back as her Alpha, they would get an apartment together and raise their Pups.

Giving Poppins gland a little lick, Bucky felt a matte material under his tongue. He opened his eyes in confusion to find himself cuddled up to the blanket that scent of her. She wasn’t in his bed. Of course, she wasn’t. He had ruined that.  
  
A noise from his kitchen grabbed his attention.  
"Pops?" He called hopefully; the shuffling noise paused. "Are you okay?"  
No answer.  
Bucky freed himself from his bed covers, as he moved to enter his living space, a tall dark figure loomed in his way as he reached the doorway out of his bedroom.  
  
Loki wrapped a strong hand around Bucky’s throat, pulling him up on his tip toes and walking him back to stand pressed against his bedroom wall. Bucky tried to swallow, he tried to gasp for breath. Loki’s eyes were glinting mischievously as he studied Bucky’s reaction.  
“Imagine. Feeling this helpless, with no one to support you.” Loki growled.  
Bucky tried to let his instincts take over. Relaxing against Loki’s grip, he tried to regulate his breathing, utilising what he could of the oxygen still able to enter his body.  
  
Loki’s eyes narrowed suspicion as he leant in closer. He dropped Bucky abruptly, making him crumple to the floor in surprise. Loki watched him pant for air before lashing out to punch Bucky square on the nose. Bucky couldn’t see through the pain as he felt his nose explode with blood. The back of his head had hit off his wall, the dull ache was distracting him from the metallic taste dribbling into his mouth.

"Get up, Barnes." Loki commanded  
"What?" Bucky spluttered  
"Get up. Fight me."  
Bucky looked around the room  
"What? I'm not going to..." He gasped for air as he watched Loki flick out a knife in each hand.  
"Fight me." Loki commanded kicking him hard in the shin.

Bucky scrambled up to standing position, irritated beyond belief he would be dripping blood over his carpet. Having Loki in his living space, uninvited, unannounced. Should be unnerving him more, but it was if the men had an unspoken agreement. This was about Poppin. They didn’t need to discuss it. Loki was defending her feelings, Bucky was defending his position as her Mate. Loki wanted to fight? He needed to be careful what he asked for.  
  
Bucky entered his living space as Loki twirled his knives. He swiped at Bucky like a viper, slicing the shoulder of his t shirt. Bucky hissed. He could feel blood oozing out of his shoulder now as well as his nose.  
"How are you supposed to protect her if you cant protect yourself." Loki taunted.  
  
Bucky back tracked towards his kitchen, avoiding Loki who swiped again, looming lower, trying to knick his ribs and chest. Bucky kept his eyes trained on Loki as he reached his knife block sat on his kitchen side. He picked up two of his own, twirling them out the way. Bucky didn't want to fight. Not here, not like this. But he could defend.  
"I don’t want to fight you." Bucky stated calmly.  
"Not even for your Omega?" Loki was smirking as he swiped again, both men’s knifes caught the other with a steely slicing sound.  
  
Loki was faster than the average man. Bucky struggled to keep up, even with his own intense training and expert knife skills. As they parried, both men were grunting with effort. Loki slipped under Bucky’s defence and swiped at his left side ribs. Bucky grunted again as he bit down on his lip, dropping his right-hand knife in surprise. It had been a while since he had been in a serious hand to hand combat. He had forgotten how irritating a knife wound could be.  
  
"Perhaps you don’t deserve Poppin as a mate." Loki grinned  
Bucky’s breath hitched in shock at Loki’s accusation. He did deserve Poppin didn’t he? Well, honestly, this week he didn’t seem up to standard, but not because he didn’t want to be. This was a test, and he was failing spectacularly. Loki had managed to manoeuvre Bucky back towards his bedroom. He sprang forward pinning Bucky back against his wall, his arms held above his head still holding his kitchen knife. Loki’s blade laid flat in his throat, Bucky could feel the pinch of the edge under his jaw. Both men stood in stale mate, straining against the other.  
  
"Perhaps you've yet to earn her."  
Loki smirked, panting a little he began leaning forward as he pushed gently. Bucky strained against him, a low growl emanating from his throat. Loki lowered his voice as he leaned closer.  
"Perhaps," he spat "I'll go and bond with her instead."  
  
Bucky saw red. Fury pulsed through his muscles as he heard himself roar back at Loki, throwing him back into the centre of the living room Bucky swiped back. A highly trained human man would not have the reflexes to block Bucky’s advances as he aimed for ribs, neck, and face, but Loki wasn’t a human man. Smirking, he blocked every attack Bucky was able to throw at him. Loki chuckled darkly as Bucky tucked a leg underneath him, tripping him to the ground against the couch. Bucky aimed to plunge a knife into Loki’s throat, but Loki had raised his forearm to block him in the nick of time.  
"I will kill you before you touch her." Bucky grunted pushing harder.  
"That's the spirit." Loki grinned as he disappeared.  
Bucky was thrown forward his knife impaling his couch.  
  
Where had Loki gone? Where was Poppin? Was she safe? Was he bonding with her right now? Bucky jumped up, grabbing his key from the dish next to his front door he ran to Poppins apartment, pummelling the door with his fist.  
"FRIDAY where is Poppin?" Bucky asked the ceiling.  
" _I am unable to disclose personal whereabouts_." came the automated reply.  
Bucky swore. Poppin wasn’t opening her door. He had to know. How had Steve got around finding Katie? There had to be a loophole to know where a person was.  
"FRIDAY, where is Poppins key card?" He asked again  
" _Poppins key card can be located in the communal resident’s kitchen."_ FRIDAY replied.  
  
The kitchen? Would Loki bond with her in the kitchen? Perhaps, it was the place they met. perhaps he wished to desecrate all over it. Bucky ran as fast as his legs would allow, imagining Loki sinking his teeth into her perfect gland. Taking the stairs three at a time he wrenched open the door to the kitchen to find Poppin sat at the table with Nat.  
  
Both women turned to him in shock as he ran up to Poppin. He looked her over as delicately as his panic would allow. Signs of hurt. Signs of Loki.  
"Are you okay?" He asked, Poppin was looking at him in terror. "Are you hurt?"  
"Are _you_ okay? What happened to you?" She asked holding him at arm’s length as she took in the state of him.  
  
Oh. Bucky looked down to see blood splattered over the chest of his t-shirt. On his left side was blood splattered on his ribs, on his right side was blood splattered on his shoulder. Loki had cut efficiently.  
  
"Did he hurt you?" Bucky asked returning to search Poppins eyes for any sign of discomfort.  
"Did who hurt me?" Poppin asked.  
"Loki." Bucky asked watching Poppins eyes widen in surprise.  
"Why would Loki hurt me?" She asked  
"Barnes, when did you see Loki?" Nat asked sceptically  
"Loki was in my apartment. Just now." Bucky answered as he tried to gently pull down the collar of her top to see her mating gland. Clean. Unbonded. He sighed loudly in relief. Poppin raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
"Are you sure? Loki isn’t cleared to enter the compound." Nat replied "Actually, Loki isn’t cleared to enter the United States without express permission."  
"He was in my apartment. He wanted to fight for Poppin." Bucky explained as Poppin guided him to sit down on one of the stools.  
"Is he as covered in blood as you are?" Nat asked  
"No." Bucky admitted.  
"So he won Poppin?" Nat smirked.  
"No." Bucky barked back a little too abruptly  
"He disappeared."  
  
Poppin looked irritated as she turned towards the other sideboard. Bucky didn’t want her to step away from him. He wanted her nearby. He shot out a hand to hold onto hers.  
"Pops, I'm so sorry. For everything this week." Bucky looked down at their hands. "For Katie, for not looking after you properly, and... after. I'm sorry I upset you. I'm sorry I said I couldn’t bond with you."  
  
Poppin squeezed his hand with her own as she stretched behind her to open a draw of clean flannels and tea towels. Taking out a flannel she placed it on the side. Next, she extracted a bowl from the cupboard above her head and stretched again to place it under the hot water dispenser. She half filled it with boiling water before topping it up with cold water from the tap. After dipping her finger in to check the temperature she let the flannel soak.  
  
"I'm sorry too." She smiled sadly as she brought the bowl over to the kitchen table. Holding his chin with one hand, she began to dab away the dried blood spread under his nose. The warm flannel was soothing as she tried to clean up his beard.  
  
Bucky watched her closely as she concentrated. Her eyes blazed with irritation as she kept glancing up at him. Whether her frustration was towards him or for him, Bucky wasn't sure. She looked pretty tonight. Her bruises around her throat and around her eye were blossoming into a mottled reddy purple colour but she looked comfortable in one of her favourite jumpers, leggings and slippers. Her hair was bunched up away from her face again. He remembered how cute she looked on Thanksgiving, tonight was just the same, but tonight she was keeping her guard up. A wall he had earnt.  
  
A wall with a hole in it, Bucky considered. He had held her hand and she hadn’t rejected him. She held him now as she cleaned him up, all of her own accord. Perhaps he would be able to regain her trust. Earn her back. Perhaps Loki wasn’t going to bond with her yet, perhaps he would have enough time to win her heart back. Bucky wasn’t sure if he deserved to have Poppins heart right now, but he was feeling the familiar pull of fondness for her. He wanted her closer. Pressed against him. Embracing him. He felt like everything was right when he was near her. She was leaning on his knees now. A little more than before. She must be feeling the pull too, like magnets attracted to one another.  
  
Bucky opened his legs for Poppin to stand closer, she didn’t acknowledge as she obliged, filling the space he had created as she wiped the warm flannel over his jawline. She exhaled.  
"Show me your ribs." She directed as she pulled up at his t-shirt. Bucky winced as the t-shirt stuck to his wound, but he lifted to her instructions. He watched her grimace as she began to wash his side. He had learnt early in during film nights she was squeamish, hiding behind her hands during blood and gore scenes.  
"Bucky I think you need stitches." Poppin admitted looking closer, her eyebrows knotted together in concern. "This is still bleeding,"  
"It’ll be fine," he replied, thinking about the medical bay and how much he _didn’t_ want someone poking him with a needle and thread. "I'll heal up quick enough."  
"I wouldn't be so sure; this looks pretty awkward." Poppin analysed "Every time you move it’ll pop open again."  
  
Bucky tucked a finger into the pocket of Poppins jumper, pulling her closer against him. Stumbling a little she steadied herself by placing a hand high on his thigh. Bucky smiled as he leaned in to inhale the scent of her neck. Peppermint cooled his senses, calming him. She was so close to him. They were practically cheek to cheek. Poppin studied him a moment. He watched her pupils dilate as he slowly leaned forward. He let slip a light purr as his nose neared her gland. Her hand still placed on his thigh was comforting, warming him underneath her touch. She gave him a squeeze.  
  
Nat cleared her throat.  
  
Bucky flinched; he had completely forgotten she was there.  
"I'll bid you two a goodnight. Don’t do anything I wouldn't do." She smirked as she slid off her stool and entered the elevator.  
  
Bucky swallowed hard. Unsure as to what to do now. What would his instinct do? His instinct would tell Poppin the truth. Lay it all down on the table. Win her back.  
"Pops..."  
"Let me see this shoulder." Poppin redirected him to his right side. She hummed in contentment as she wiped away blood to see a healed scar.  
"This side is better. I think you should head to Medical Bay for your ribs though." She studied his shoulder, running a finger along the pink scar tissue.  
"He said he would bond with you." Bucky mumbled. Poppin snorted as she plopped the flannel back into the bowl.  
"He also said he would go straight home without anyone knowing he was here." She rolled her eyes with a small smile. "Don’t take everything Loki says to heart. He’s been messing with you."  
"I want to bond with you." Bucky blurted. Poppins smile disappeared. "I'm sorry I've upset you Pops; I've made you feel like you weren’t the right Omega for me. You are."  
Poppin sighed, as she stepped away from him. No evidence of her usual friendliness on her features. She looked tired. Burnt out. And it was all his fault. Bucky slipped off his seat, taking a step towards her, he held her hand lightly. If she wished to pull it away, she could.  
  
"Bucky, I can't go through the rejection of..."  
"Omega." He interrupted as sank down onto one knee "I wish to be your Alpha."  
She didn’t move a muscle. He took that as a good sign to continue.  
  
"I wish to protect you, I wish to care for you, I wish to support you." He recited the words, holding her hand up to his lips. It was a traditional custom for an Alpha to dominate as they presented to their mate, the traditional words were "I will." Bucky didn’t feel right taking that angle, not many modern Alphas did, knowing with the correct command Poppin would be unable to say No to his proposition. Bucky was submitting on purpose. He wanted Poppin to choose her path. He hoped she could appreciate his deviation for how unorthodox it was.  
  
Aside from blinking she still didn’t move. Bucky swallowed hard, his stomach-turning somersaults.  
"Poppin. I have an overwhelming amount to learn, about being an Alpha. About living in this compound. About being Bucky Barnes."  
He heaved a deep breath.  
"But I promise, I will always keep trying to learn it all. Especially for you. And I will do everything I can to protect you from harm. Especially when I’ve caused it."  
He looked back up at her, her eyes had become glossy.  
"I am, so _proud_ to have you as my Omega. You must never believe that I'm not. I have hoped for a True Mate, since I was a pup. And now, honestly? I am completely unprepared for you to be mine."  
Poppin smiled as she wiped her cheeks with a tissue, she had hidden up her sleeve.  
"Alpha, I hear you." She replied quietly. Bucky hadn’t realised he had been holding his breath, but he felt his shoulders slumped as he let it go.  
  
She heard him. It was acceptance. Not the full consent to bond with her right now, but acceptance than she wasn’t against the idea completely. "I Hear You" was the acknowledgement that there was still work to do, but they were on the right path to the right direction.  
Poppin slowly took the half step towards him and ducked down, gently she placed a hand on his shoulder as she nuzzled her nose against his own unmarked scent gland. Bucky's nerves exploded just as they had when he cuddled up against her. He felt a chill run through him. He could feel her hurt ebbing away as she kept close to him.  
  


"I want to take back everything I said yesterday morning." Bucky stood up and watched her hand lower to his chest as he towered over her. He covered her hand with his own, just as he had on that first morning they met.  
Poppin looked sad as she looked up at him. Slowly she stepped closer to wrap her arms around his waist, not too tight, just right. Bucky felt himself melting to her as he relaxed. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and rested his cheek on the top of her head. This. This was where he wanted to be. Holding her. How could he have thought he could handle being apart from her.

"You can’t." She answered simply as she pulled away slightly to look back at him. "But you can begin making things right by going to get those ribs stitched up."  
Bucky huffed. Then nodded.  
"Bucky, if you ever have another wobble, and don’t want to be my Alpha again. I won’t take you back." Poppin warned gently as she took his hand, intertwining their fingers firmly. Bucky smiled. Pride filled his chest as his Omega began to pull him towards the elevator.  
  
If you had told him in his youth, he would be submissive to his mate, he would have laughed. Young Alpha arrogance, ignorance or just obliviousness had him thinking he would be the dominating balance in the relationship. Now? Now Poppin could tell him to jump off a roof and he would ask her how high. Bucky lifted their hands to nuzzle against the back of Poppins as they waited for the elevator to take him down to medical. She gave a shy smile, and his hand a squeeze as he replied.  
  
"Omega, I hear you."


	26. 6th January

Swimming lengths before her shift was Poppins way of setting herself up for a day of productivity.   
  
A dose of exercise with a chance to think through what you needed to get on with. Today was your first day back at work since Katie had infiltrated the resident’s wing. Your bruises were still a blueish purple, but you could see more of a green yellow shade beginning to blend them out. This morning you had decided it made sense to get up early enough for a swim beforehand. You were relaxed, calm and ready to begin your day.

Turning round at the end of the pool a figure had appeared at the door to the changing rooms, turned back to leave the poolside Bucky Barnes looked tense. The muscles in his back flexed, you tried not to swoon at the expanse of skin as he wore just swimming trunks.   
"Hey!" You called as you swam the length towards him, he turned, an apprehensive expression written over his face. He had removed his prosthetic arm for the first time, leaving just a nub of black vibranium rounding his shoulder.   
  
Last night Bucky had got down on one knee and presented his intention to be your Alpha. Inside you had been screaming in elation, but the memories of this week had been too fresh. He had so much to concentrate on, so much healing to work towards. You felt like a distraction. Sure, he wanted you on his plate, but you were also the first to fall off when he was overwhelmed. He needed more time concentrating in himself. He didn’t need an Omega in the mix. There was no rush. If you were True Mates now, you would also be True Mates later down the line.   
  
You had tried to talk about this as you accompanied him down to the medical bay for stitches on his side. He had nodded and agreed, but he had also had a glazed look in his eyes as he breathed in your scent when he needed calming down in the absence of effective pain relief. You had accompanied him back to his room before retiring to your own with a smile on your face but lots to think about.   
  


Finally, you reached the end of the pool, leaning up against the side you smiled at him.  
"Good Morning, what brings you down here?" you commented pleasantly.  
"I'm meant to be meeting Sam. He said the pool wouldn’t be used this early in the day." Bucky answered, not moving from the spot near the exit.   
"That’s usually true. Do you realise Sam always underestimates how long it takes to walk down here? You've got at least a 10-minute wait." You smiled.  
Bucky rolled his eyes as his shoulders visibly relaxed  
"Figures." He muttered  
"I’ve done my lengths, but would you like me to sit with you whilst you wait?" You tried your luck, patting the poolside next to you. He pursed his lips for a minute in thought before walking forward to sit on the edge of the pool. He was graceful in his actions despite his missing arm, you’d have expected him to miss the weight of it.   
Facing the water, you placed both palms behind you and lifted yourself up to match him, both legs swirling in the water.   
  
"Should you be swimming with fresh stitches?" You asked curiously. Bucky blushed.  
"Actually I cut them out this morning. I woke up all healed up." He swivelled a little for you to see the fresh pink scar where the wound had been yesterday. "I'll admit, without you making me get the stitches it probably would have kept opening."  
"I bet that accelerated healing has saved your arse a few times." You replied in awe.  
"More than I dare count." He smiled.   
  
Silence sat between you comfortably.  
"I'll be honest, I didn’t have you down as a swimmer?" You asked, he let out a huff of amusement   
"It’s been a while since I tried it," he admitted "not since summers in Brooklyn."  
"I guess Siberia isn’t known for its summertime leisure facilities." You agreed blandly.  
"Yeah, water is your kryptonite when you have a metal arm."   
You turned to him, he was looking at you sideways with a small smile.   
"Did you not take the old one off?" You asked  
"Not the old one. It wasn’t very... user friendly." He gave a large sigh. "Honestly, I wasn’t expecting anyone to catch me without it today."  
"I didn’t realise it could be removed... Do you take it off often?" You asked   
"Not really. I guess I probably could have kept it on for this swim... I just figured it’ll last longer if I don’t wear and tear it. Not sure how to ask Shuri for another if it breaks." He looked back at you; his blue eyes were a crisp summer sky tone.   
"You don’t think it looks..." he paused as he tried to find a word he wanted.  
"No." You interrupted whatever he was aiming for. "I don’t."

A blush crept up his cheeks as a banging on the window behind you both broke the conversation, Sam was stood with 2 fingers up gesturing to the minutes he would be as he ran into the changing room.   
"Huh, he was almost on time, " you commented watching your best friend disappear from sight again. Bucky looked back to you.   
"I don’t think he was expecting me to turn up," he admitted. He cleared his throat, "Um, Poppin? I've been thinking about what you said yesterday about taking this one day at a time. I should have been doing that anyway. Maybe then we would still be together. I'm disappointed in how I handled everything this week."   
"I'm disappointed too." you commented gently. "But I also think things work out as they should, when they should." He gave you a shy smile.   
  
You felt victorious that you had managed to tell him the truth of how you felt without getting emotional.   
"Do you think..." Bucky paused, he looked like he was assembling his words. "Do you think we are still True Mates?"  
"I don’t know." You watched your feet breach the top of the water before submerging again. "Even if we are, does it mean we shouldn't consider external factors? Tuesday reminded me that you are in the middle of a massive transition Bucky. You have a lot on your plate. Perhaps I was just one item too many. There are more important things demanding your attention as you heal."  
"I'd say you're important." He mumbled.   
  
You gave him a small smile back before you checked the time on the clock behind his head.  
"I better make a move, I've got work to get on with."  
You pulled yourself up almost gracefully and stood next to Bucky  
"I'm looking forward to our next Grub Club meeting." You gave him a big smile before leaving, making sure to move before he felt he had to give an answer.

Walking through to the changing rooms you past a flustered Sam, high-fiveing in the air as you both continued to your destination.  
"Breakfast?" He paused in the entrance to the pool  
"Of course, save me a seat!" You called behind you.  
  
  
  
  
As the elevator doors parted to the living area you were surprised to see Clint Barton stood opening and shutting the kitchen cupboards. He smiled excitedly as you strode towards him, embracing him in a tight hug.  
"And what do we owe the pleasure?" You asked delightedly.  
"Cap called last night, got us a mission to stake out. Wondered if I could have a room for a few nights?" He asked   
"Of course! Your usual?" He nodded as he perched on a kitchen stool. "Can I get you a tea? Coffee?"  
"Coffee, please. Where is everyone? Sleeping in?" Clint watched you potter around making the two of you a drink.  
"Clint its only half 7. Everyone’s probably training." You placed down his mug and sat beside him. "How’s Laura and the pups?"   
  
"All good, Nathaniel’s at school now. It's taken pressure off" Clint replied.   
"Wow already? Time flies when you're having fun." You replied thinking back to the little pup toddling around when you arrived at the compound.  
"How’s everything with you? Ignoring the state of your bruises. Nat told me everything. She said you’ve met an Alpha." Clint smirked into his coffee.   
  
As heat rose into your cheeks the elevator dinged the arrival of Sam and a two-armed Bucky.  
"You didn’t tell me Bucky presented!" Sam exclaimed as he strode out the elevator.  
You turned to Clint.  
"Good news travels fast." You answered before turning back to Sam. "You've been rutting, when did you expect me to tell you?"  
"You could have called." Sam grumbled  
"No. I know what you do during a rut I'm not having you keep on whilst I'm having a conversation with you." You scolded   
Bucky smirked at Sam.  
"An Omega in heat. Who let that loose?" Clint asked  
"Bucky did." Sam grumbled "5 damn minutes with her set me off. She’s not even my type."  
"Buck, you've been busy this week. Don’t worry Wilson happens to the best of us." Clint gave a long drink of coffee as everyone turned to watch him elaborate. "I mean it never happened to me. I'm just trying to help you feel better."   
  
Breakfast this morning was a tag team of you and Bucky cooking up Bacon, Eggs and Protein Pancakes for you all. You tried not to get in his way, whilst he simultaneously tried to stand next to you at all times. You wanted to give him a push, get annoyed that he was in your personal space but instead you found yourself scenting his pine fragrance and melting all over again. When he bumped his hip against yours with a cheeky grin you couldn’t help smiling, encouraging him to wrap an arm around your shoulders and kiss your hair quickly. His touched warmed you as the butterflies in your stomach started up again.  
  
"So how did he do Pops?" Sam asked from behind you. "You haven’t torn his throat out so he must had done a good presentation."  
Bucky let out a low growl. You watched his reaction without replying to Sam.  
"Did he use his commanding voice to get you to accept?" Sam asked grinning widely   
"Sam. I told you to stop asking about it." Bucky grumbled as he placed a loan pancake on a plate  
"Did he get on one knee?" Sam persisted   
" _Sam_." Bucky turned to face him slowly.  
"I bet he did, super traditional." Sam's grin was wiped off as his plate of a singular dry pancake was skidded across the table to him with a glare.  
"Enough." Bucky barked across the table. "Stop asking."   
  
The table fell into silence.  
"Pops did you say _No_ to his presentation?" Sam whispered as loud as possible. Bucky turned around to Sam growling openly.   
You reached over for Sam's plated pancake to swap it with a proper plate heaped in food.   
"Sam, drop it." You stated bluntly. If Bucky didn’t want to talk about his presentation, then as his accepting Omega you would follow his lead  
  
Bucky smiled as he handed you your breakfast before turning to dish up his own. He joined you at the table, sitting down next to your left.

This was good. Not quite how you both had been before, but this was on track to getting back in that direction. Bucky smiled sweetly as you cut up your pancake, he had syrup at the ready.  
“Say when.” He advised looping the syrup around your plate. You watched it reach your ideal amount.  
“When.” You replied with a grin. “Thank you.”  
“Urgh. You two.” Sam grumbled from across the table as he smirked into his eggs.

As the plates of food emptied one by one the elevator doors dinged open with the arrival of Steve and Nat. Both stood at the end of the kitchen table looking down at the debris of breakfast.  
"I'm glad you're all here," Steve began "We have a mission to discuss off the books. Now seems as good a time as any."   
  
Steve leant over the table to distribute the small folders he had brought to the table with him. He kept one for himself, then passed one to Nat, one to Clint, one to Sam and one to Bucky.  
Bucky dropped his fork as Steve held it out for him.  
"But I'm not cleared for missions." He mumbled staring at the plastic packaging.

"You are for this one." Steve replied.


	27. 6th January #2

Bucky stared at the plastic folder like it might explode as his stomach tumbled around in knots.   
  
"Should I go?" Poppin asked politely, she wasn’t usually included in mission meetings. Neither was Bucky for that matter.   
"Stay." Bucky blurted, he looked to Poppin as he began chewing his cheek. She nodded in reply, giving him an encouraging smile.

He needed her here. He needed her to calm him. He needed her to hear what he couldn’t focus on right now. Why was this folder for him? Why was he included? He wasn’t cleared. He shouldn't be part of this conversation.  
"Please finish your breakfast Pops," Steve smiled gently, darting a glance towards Bucky before looking back to her.   
  
Nat had taken a seat next to Clint. Steve cleared his throat as he continued to stand at the head of the table.  
"We have gathered intelligence on a derelict HYDRA cell. Left alone for approximately 30 years, it hasn’t been on any recent Intel, but we think it may hold information we could use. On previous cells, and potentially current cells, which in turn can lead us to future cells." Steve explained looking at each person at the table in turn.   
  
A 30-year-old HYDRA cell was the last place Bucky wanted to be going. Would he have been to this one before? He had been to most before. He hated them. Stores of information usually manned by the worst of the worst. The men no one else wanted to work with. Nasty men.   
  
"Why is this off the books?" Clint asked.  
"It was never on the books. Nat and I have been painstakingly nit picking through historical files to find locations of HYDRA previously unknown. This is one of them." Steve replied taking a sip of his coffee.   
  
Fragments of memories were all that were available to Bucky from the days of being The Winter Soldier. Nothing made sense. Everything would appear in a flash. Just enough to grab his attention but not long enough to dissect and analyse. These memories were what he worked on during therapy. How harshly they would infiltrate his mind, leaving him scared and unsure, only to disappear into the dark once again as if they were a figment of his imagination.   
  
"So, what's the plan?" Sam asked as he read his folder.  
"We go in, gather information from its servers, get out." Steve explained. "We don’t know of it is still manned, but it's important we leave no evidence. That means no witnesses. Shoot to kill."   
  
Steve was never in favour of shoot to kill. This must really be important. To be off the books as well. There must be a reason Steve was in such a hurry to go. They'd be in the air by the end of the day. If not by lunchtime. It wasn't long to prepare. It wasn’t long to get his thoughts in order. It wasn’t long to get his confidence up. What would happen if he felt anxious in the middle of it? He felt anxious now. He wasn’t cleared for this.   
  
The table was quiet. Steve continued.  
"Myself and Bucky will be on the offense. Clearing the path for Nat to access the servers. Once inside the main control room we will be keeping her defence." Steve spares Bucky a glance. "Clint and Sam, you will be keeping watch of the exit. No witnesses."   
  
Bucky wasn’t cleared for this. He wasn’t ready for this. This safe compound. It has become a weighted blanket for him. He liked it here. Poppin was here. His therapy was here. He was home. Steve was asking him to go back to the worst place he could almost remember. To walk into a building where enemies wanted to keep him from everyone he loved. Then break him. Again. The nightmares, they would return. He had almost got control of them again, especially when Poppin had shared his bed. But now, they would be refreshed. They would return.   
  
Bucky’s hand was shaking as he tried to take a gulp of water. Was it extra hot in here? It felt hot. He felt dizzy as his head swam. There wasn't enough air. The glass felt slippy in his fingers. Poppin placed her hand on his knee.   
"Are you okay?" She leaned in to ask subtly. Thoughtful. Soothing. Could he cuddle up to her now? Placing the glass of water down as gently as possible Bucky grasped her hand in his, allowing her to intertwine their fingers together. Bucky shook his head looking down to his lap trying to ground himself.  
  
"Where is this Cell?" Clint asked  
"Russia. Outside Moscow." Steve replied.  
"So what's that, an 8-hour flight?" Clint raised an eyebrow.  
"Closer to 9 hours," Nat replied.   
  
"Steve," Poppin turned to Steve. His brows were furrowed as he watched Bucky’s panic. He worked his way round the table.  
"You okay Buck?" Bucky shook his head. He felt like he was about to wretch.  
"What're you thinking?" Steve asked.  
"I'm not cleared for missions Steve. I don’t... I can’t..." Bucky stumbled as he squeezed Poppins hand. It felt warm in his. Comforting. He didn’t want to let it go.   
  
"Breathe Buck. We need you to calm down. You're cleared for this mission, because you're qualified for this mission. You're our golden ticket into this place, if anyone can do it. You can." Steve leant on the table on Bucky’s other side.  
"I don’t remember clearance codes." Bucky mumbled feeling pathetic.  
"You may not think you do, but I suspect the part of you that speaks Russian still does." Steve smiled "When we are in there, it’ll be like old times. You know the routine."  
"Can’t we just take Nat to translate Russian?" Sam piped up, he was also watching Bucky with a concerned expression  
"We need to get in and out as quick as possible. We need Nat to concentrate on getting to the servers."  
"Why not get Sam to get to the servers, I'll join you on the offense? Or yet bring Sam into the offense and Clint can handle the exit solo. " Nat replied "Steve, if Bucky’s not ready, he’s not ready."  
Steve looked from Bucky to around the table, then back to Bucky. His shoulders dipped as he sighed.  
"Okay." He sounded defeated.   
  
Steve shouldn’t sound defeated. Steve was never defeated. Bucky was making this difficult. It didn’t need to be. This was a fight he would remember. A push back. A little piece of Bucky’s sanity would be able to get revenge for all those years. Above all his discomfort, his panic and frustration a bell began to ring in his ears. If he didn’t do this, they may not succeed. They needed to succeed.   
  
"Just... wait." Bucky choked out. He worked on what words would leave his mouth in order. "What if we meet resistance. What if they want to take me back."  
Bucky’s eyes were fearful as he looked to Steve.  
"Impossible Buck. I'll be right next to you the entire way." Steve smiled confidently as he placed a hand on his shoulder.  
"Oh we ain't letting anyone take you back," Sam added. "As tempting as it is..."  
"No witnesses, Barnes." Clint smirked as he leant back in his chair.  
"We will keep you safe Buck. You'll be back with Poppin in no time." Nat smiled.  
Bucky swallowed hard. Squeezing Poppins hand again.   
"When do we leave?" He asked.  
  
  
  
Bucky was chewing his cheek as he arrived at Poppin's office not an hour later. Dressed in a new tactical suit, he fondled a bundle of material in his hands. He scrunched it into his left hand as he cleared his throat, knocking on her open door.

She looked up from her desk, her mouth falling in surprise.

“You look all ready to go.” she praised as she stood to meet him.  
"I'm scared." He admitted, staring at his feet.   
"You have every right to be scared." She soothed wrapping her arms around his middle and resting her cheek against his chest. "But you're surrounded by the best team we know,"   
  
"What if... What if they try to take me again." He murmured quietly. Poppin took a half step back to look up at him. Slowly she reached up to place his long hair behind his ear.  
"They can try. But they won’t succeed." She gave him a small smile. "You're not the same man that left them. You've worked so hard on yourself Bucky. You can’t be manipulated anymore."  
"No." He agreed. Her smile grew.  
"Good. Remember that." She turned towards her desk drawers. "Besides, if you don’t come back, I'll be stuck with Sam."   
  
"I heard that." Sam grumbled, leaning up against the door frame. "You ready to go?"  
"Yeah. As I'll ever be." Bucky replied quietly.  
"Hold on, one moment." Poppins voice was right in his ear as she began gathering up his hair, she twirled it around quickly and secured the low bun with one of her hair ties. "There, keeps your hair out your eyes."   
"You'll be fine Buck. We all got you." Sam smiled sincerely before disappearing towards the kitchen.   
  
"3 days." Poppin rest her hand on his chest as he turned back to her. "It’s not long."  
Bucky smiled. Was she reminding him or herself? 3 days. No, it wasn’t long, but it was the longest they had been apart since Christmas. 3 days. A lot could happen in 3 days. He could make so much progress with her in 3 days. If done well, they could be back on track in 3 days given the little touches she was still giving him with her warm hands. Hands he wanted to hold. Hands he wanted to hold him.   
  
Bucky stepped closer to Poppin. He could feel her warmth radiating out towards him.

“I brought you... I don’t know if you’ll want it... but just in case.” Bucky held out his worn jumper to her, Poppins eyes dilated as she eyed up the material.  
“Just in case I want it,” she repeated, gently accepting his gift. She lifted the jumper straight to her nose, breathing in his scent deeply before lowering it again, holding it close to her chest. “Thank you.”  
"I'll miss you." He admitted as he leant in.  
Kissing Poppin hadn’t been the plan, but he didn’t need a plan when he asked his instincts. Brushing his lips against hers, she reciprocated immediately. Leaning into him he felt her melt completely. Bucky pulled back to nuzzle her nose.   
  
"Come on Barnes, we're leaving in 10." Sam was back to ruin their moment. Poppin huffed, glaring over his shoulder. Bucky heard Sam cackling as he disappeared towards the kitchen again.  
"I'll miss you," Poppin blushed as she took his hand to follow Sam.   
  
A pile of 5 small foil packages were collected onto the side next to 5 water bottles freshly refilled. Poppin leaned over to pass him his share as the others took theirs.  
"Take this. Keep safe. Come home." She smiled   
"What is this?" Bucky asked squeezing the foil.  
"Don’t squeeze it! You'll squash it! It's a packed lunch for your flight." She scolded, softening her expression as she caught his eye. "I hope it's okay, I didn’t have much notice."   
Bucky ducked down to kiss her cheek.  
"Thank you Pops.”   
"Ready to go?" Steve smiled from across the table.  
Bucky nodded, looking back at Poppin. He smiled as he ducked down to kiss her cheek one last time.  
"You can open it on the jet." She replied as she watched them walk towards the elevator. "not before."   
  
Bucky stored his kit away in the back of the jet, making sure it was clipped in secure before entering the seating area. He sat down next to Sam who was taking a huge bite out of his foil.  
"You know, for someone who had less than half hours’ notice," Sam paused to chew slowly. Bucky frowned as he opened up his own foil, until he recognised the ingredients all lined up in colourful rows between two slices of bread. A smirk came over his features as Sam finally swallowed.   
  
"Your girl makes a mean New York Deli Sandwich."


	28. 14th January

3 days. Get to Russia. Get into the information. Get out, Get home. It was supposed to be a simple trip.  
  
On the 3rd day, you still hadn't yet received an update on the packs progress. Normally Nat would text you, tell you they were safe and due back at a certain time. You supposed if this was off the books perhaps, they wouldn't have their phones on. They'd be back when they could be. It worried you, having all 5 of them cut off from the compound. Surely, they would be okay. They were together. No news was good news. Right? It meant they were still hidden. They were busy. Perhaps something had come up, but it was something they could handle, otherwise they'd blow their cover.

How bad could it be if Nat couldn’t text? It must be bad. Nat didn’t want to worry her. What could have delayed them from the 3-day plan? What if someone had been intercepted. What if someone was seriously hurt? What if someone hasn’t come back? What if Bucky had been caught. Was he okay? What price would he have paid for this time back in Russia? You shuddered a breath as you began to panic.  
  
3 days turned into a week.  
  
Any misleading ideas that you could keep a distance from your Alpha going forward had long since dissipated into the air. Every thought was consumed by him. The moment Bucky’s feet touched down in this compound you would be there, wrapping yourself around him. Refusing to let him go again. Your Alpha. You worried about him the most. How he was coping with the mission. The distance. The memories. The night-time.  
  
You wanted to be nearby. To calm him. To breathe his scent to calm yourself. You hadn’t let go of his jumper since he left. Carrying it around room to room with you, always scenting his presence around you. Till the 4th day when you had burst into tears in front of Bruce. Realising just how worried and lonely you had become you put his jumper on to calm you. It worked to soothe your nerves but was no match for the real thing.

  
  
On the 8th morning you had got up for work at your usual time of 5.30am. You had looked out to the darkness from your window in the hope of seeing lights approaching, but no such luck. Admittedly without residents your work had dwindled down to reorganising and replenishing your stores of the food cupboard and utility room, it didn’t make sense to be up this early only to sit next to the post boxes taunting you, reminding you they hadn’t been collected, but it was better than sitting alone in your room scenting Bucky’s jumper.  
  
A gentle knocking at your front door interrupted your train of thought. Striding across the room, you wrenched it open before your brain had a moment to catch up to the consequences of who was on the other side.  
  
"Pops." Bucky was stood in front of you in his tactical suit. He looked tired, unwashed, with bloodshot eyes, but he was here. Smiling. Smiling at you as you burst into tears. Throwing your arms around his neck he reacted in time to pick you up, encouraging you to wrap your legs around his waist as he entered your apartment, slamming the door behind him.  
  
"My girl," he soothed, walking you both towards your sofa. He cocooned you in his arms as he laid you both down nestling between your legs. His big arms crowded you in against the fabric as he held himself above you. Nuzzling into his cheek you laid soft kisses against him, tasting his salty tears.  
"You're okay." You sobbed cupping his face in your hands as he peppered kisses across your own cheeks.  
  
"I'm okay. We're all okay." He answered nuzzling into your jawline. You felt him sob against you as you began to stroke his hair.  
"Bucky." You soothed. "What can I do?"  
His breath shuddered near your ear.  
"Just... hold me. Please." He answered cuddling you closer.  
  
You waited patiently, holding him closely as he breathed in your scent in gulps until he calmed. You rubbed his back above you in large circular motions. When he had consoled himself, he lifted to kiss your cheek delicately.  
"Would it help to talk about it?" You asked quietly, nuzzling your nose against his.  
"The mission went well. For the most part." Bucky croaked as he closed his eyes.  
"Why only for the most part?" You asked.  
"We got stuck. A blizzard meant we couldn’t fly out. We've spent nearly a week in a safe house waiting for the winds to die down."  
You sighed gently in relief.  
"You've been safe this whole week?" You repeated.  
"Mhmm. We got straight in there and out again." He landed a kiss on the end of your nose.  
"No witnesses?" You repeated the mission statement.  
"No one there to witness us." He answered turning to nuzzle your other cheek. His nose must have felt wet from the tears he was smearing around. "We got out and back to the safe house to sleep off the day, but when we got there the snowstorm was beginning. We nearly got stranded in the jet."  
  
Bucky pulled back, using both his thumbs to wipe your cheeks as he peppered kisses under your eyes. When you were able to open your own to gaze at him, you had a better view of the thick tears dribbled down his cheeks from his bloodshot eyes. His eyelids swollen and puffy.  
"How long have you been crying?" You acknowledged cupping his face in your hands.  
"I wanted to contact you. Hear your voice. But I couldn't give away our location. If they found us. If they found you. I couldn’t live with myself." He sniffed as he ducked his head down burying back into your shoulder.  
  
"Bucky, you did right." You held his head gently, waiting for him to console himself.  
"I thought, I thought they'd find us. They would know what we did. Where we had gone. It's been the longest week of my life. Waiting. For them to show up. Waiting to fight. Waiting for the snow to stop. Waiting to return to you."  
  
Your Alpha would have been sitting in that safe house with no contact, and no way of knowing if he was safe or not. For a week. A week of anxiety. Fear. Just the thought of it broke your heart. For all the hours you had spent fretting this week at least you had been at home. Comfortable. Safe. His week sounded like hell.  
You felt your Omega instincts to care and support bubble up to the surface before all others as you held him close to you.  
  
"I don’t... I don’t know if I can do this. Active duty. I sit inside all day, and crave fresh air... But when we left the jet, it was too much... Overwhelming. All I wanted was to be back in the compound. I don’t know if I can keep up with the team the way they expect of me." He admitted hiding from your reaction.  
  
"You know if Steve didn’t think you were ready, he wouldn't have you on the roster," you replied "but you know if you're ready or not. If you're not then take more time, there isn’t a guideline for your healing."  
Bucky sniffed in response.  
  
You bit your lip in thought as you continued to rub his back.  
"I think we need to have a sit down with Steve about your options here," you admitted "No one should return from work feeling the way you have. You don’t need to do anything you don’t want too. That’s not why you're here."  
Bucky lifted himself from your shoulder as he let tears streak down his cheeks. He nodded slowly.  
"If I'm of no use here... where do I go?" He asked breaking your heart for him in the process  
"You will always be of use here Bucky, I can guarantee that." You reassured him giving his hand a gentle squeeze  
  
"I should have given you my jumper to scent." You soothed as you wiped his cheeks for him. "I've been sleeping in your jumper. It kept me calm."  
"Mhmm. I can tell." He admitted as he looked down at you, his eyes all soft and glossy. With a little smile teasing his lips he lowered to nuzzle his nose against yours. He purred with contentment as he brushed his lips against yours delicately. "I missed you Pops."  
"I missed you." You replied wiping his cheeks more efficiently with your jumper sleeve. "You must be tired."

Bucky shook his head.  
"Hungry?" You offered, he shook his head.  
"Thirsty?" You tried, he smiled and nodded.  
"I could do with a hot drink."  
Sitting back on his heels and plopping down to sit on the other end of the couch, he held out a hand to help you sit up, you legs still draped around his waist.  
"Surely after sitting on a jet for 9 hours you must be tired," You narrowed your eyes in suspicion.  
"I've just sat in a safe house with the blinds closed for a week. I am done with resting." Bucky was stroking your hair behind your ears affectionately.  
"When did you last eat a proper meal? Not safe house rations." You asked, watching closely as Bucky looked sheepish.  
"I thought so." You smirked at his lack of response. "In that case, I propose oats for breakfast, Hot tea to calm you down and some fresh air for good measure." You smiled encouragingly, he hesitated as he wiped his cheeks again. "We can catch the sunrise and come back for a nap."  
"It would be nice to watch a sunrise with you." Bucky mumbled; a shy smile crossed his features as you leant over to lay a kiss on his cheek before making your way to your kitchen.  
  
You began breakfast by measuring out two portions of oats into a saucepan with almond milk and allowing it to heat up. Next you set the kettle to boil before fishing your thermos out of the cupboard. You took 2 mugs from your counter and passed them to Bucky to hold as he sat awkwardly on your sofa watching you place teabags in your thermos before you filled it up with the boiling water, pausing only to stir the oats mixing in your saucepan. You topped up the tea with milk before removing the teabags and screwing on the cap of the thermos. You also passed this to Bucky.  
  
Slipping on some shoes and balancing two bowls of oats drizzled with blueberries and honey, you indicated Bucky to follow you. He leaned forward to open your front door for you but held back as you led him towards the elevators  
"I'm not sure I'm allowed to leave the compound without clearance," Bucky admitted as you waited for the doors to open.  
"We won’t be leaving the compound, I'm taking you to see Upstairs." You smiled warmly at him.  
  
Taking the elevator up to the floor before the roof you jumped out, pulling Bucky along behind you with the mugs clinking together in his other hand, taking a hard right to the stairwell you pulled him up the final flight of stairs.  
  
As you crested the top step huffing and puffing you looked back to the Soldier who had barely cracked a sweat. To the left of the door onto the roof was a coat rack affixed to the wall, holding 2 thermal coats and a blanket. You placed down your bowls and handed Bucky a coat as you got your own on.  
  
"What is this?" He asked, placing down the mugs and thermos to get the coat round his shoulders. He gave an excited wiggle as it zipped up with extra room over his tactical suit.  
“Some extra layers, wouldn’t want to catch a chill, would we?” You replied with a smirk. Turning your phones flashlight on, you took hold of the thermos and blanket in the crook of your arm whilst Bucky had acquired both bowls and the two mugs hanging from a finger. You opened the door to the roof and was sure to set it on the latch.  
  
Before you was the unlit helipad, and a sky slowly lightening as day broke. To the left was the entrance to the roof by elevator, turning an abrupt right again you led Bucky towards a set of metal stairs onto another level. Bucky followed and chuckled in disbelief when he saw the sturdy garden furniture sitting atop the roof. You smiled as you placed down your breakfast onto a small table in front of a set of benches and your chiminea, recently placed up here thanks to Loki.  
  
"Is that? What Stark got you?" Bucky pointed at the Chiminea as you lit a lantern sat on the table before settling onto a bench.  
"It is. I haven't bought wood to actually use it yet, but I'll add it to this week’s groceries if you and I want to come back up here." You replied, organising the blanket as you patted the space next to you. Bucky sat down sheepishly.  
"How have I never seen this when I've flown in?" He asked, you shrugged.  
"I'm not sure you were looking for it." You answered.  
  
"Welcome to Upstairs. The best view in the house when you need a little space." You beamed, looking from your Alpha towards the lightening morning sky.


	29. 14th January #2

Bucky gazed towards the lightening horizon as Poppin placed the blankets over their knees, making sure they were tucked in.  
  
"Nothing like a little sky gazing to make your problems feel a bit smaller overall," she commented her nose pointing to the sky with him.  
"I used to enjoy watching the sky in Wakanda when I wasn’t able to sleep, I didn’t realise this was an option here. What is this place?" Bucky asked in delight. A light wind was whipping around, biting at his nose, but felt so fresh he couldn't help but breathe deep.  
  
Poppin smiled as she pulled up his hood around his ears.  
"Welcome to Upstairs. I wouldn’t mention this to Health and Safety... I don’t think many people know it’s up here... just me, Loki, Stark, and now yourself." Poppin answered happily "I suppose I should bring Sam up here soon, but he’s not yet deserved to earn its discovery,"  
Bucky let out a little chuckle, it felt nice to have somewhere in the compound that Sam and even Steve didn’t yet.  
  
"How did you set up this space?" He asked looking down at his housekeeper, she was smiling at him warmly, it was enough to forget the chill biting his nose.  
"I began coming up here with Loki on nights when he struggled being on house arrest. He also struggled with the confinement of the compound." Poppin explained pouring them both a cup of tea from the thermos. "When Stark found out where we were going, he changed the wattage and angle of all the lights on the compound, so we had as little light pollution as possible to star gaze. Now the compound is lit by motion detectors or turned on for arrivals."  
"You two used to come here often?" Bucky asked delicately, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know this answer but as the Asgardian had come back up in conversation it made sense to approach this now. He didn’t want to be sat in their private date space.  
  
"Depending how he felt we could be here a few times a week, but it varied on his mental health. And the weather. It’ll be more comfortable come spring. We began on camping seats, but he kept falling through them... I still don’t know where he got hold of this bench." Poppin laughed into her mug as she blew some of the heat away. The sound of her laugh lifted the weight in his chest slightly.  
"You must miss him," Bucky commented carefully, Poppin looked over at him and smiled sadly  
"I do, he was my closest friend in here for a long time... before Sam wiggled his way in of course," she replied looking back to the sky. "Have you two talked since your scuffle?"  
  
Bucky blushed with embarrassment. No. He hadn’t. Admittedly since Loki attacked him in his apartment, he hadn’t even considered talking to the guy and making amends. Perhaps he should have, Loki had overstepped a boundary but he had also got Bucky talking to Poppin again. He pushed him into presenting and now it was thanks to him that Bucky was currently sat sharing a blanket with his Omega in Loki's personal space. Loki deserved an apology, but most of all he also deserved a Thank You.  
  
"Um. Honestly, no. But I'll change that today." He glanced at Poppin to gauge her reaction. She was smirking into her oats. "I've not yet spoken to him properly."  
"He would be interested in talking to you, I'm sure of it." she replied.  
"I wouldn't know what to say to him. When he’s here, he talks about bonding with you and I don’t know how to react."  
Poppin lowered her spoon.  
"Didn’t you react with a knife fight?" She asked raising an eyebrow. Bucky snorted accidentally at her cynicism. She wasn’t fooled with his shoddy explanation.  
"Okay. Yes. I did. But the time before that, the last time I saw him here before he left. You two were talking about bonding together then too. In the kitchen." Bucky let slip his train of thought, immediately regretting prying into her relationship with him. Poppin unexpectedly chuckled again.  
"Ahh the first time you made me a cup of tea."  
  
Bucky felt his insides lurch as she acknowledged a memory of theirs, a positive memory no less. Those first few days at the compound had been such a blur at the time and now they were a little spec in a growing number of memories with his Omega.  
"Bonding came up many times between Loki and I over the years. I'm surprised you couldn't smell him in my room, he used to share my apartment with me," she admitted. "I guess I've had the windows open since he left to get his scent out of my space."  
  
Bucky went quiet in surprise; he hadn’t scented an Alpha in her space. The idea of her sharing her apartment, possibly nesting with another alpha made his skin crawl. He was glad she had been sleeping alone since he had joined the compound.  
"What happened?" He blurted out before he could check himself "to make you both not bond?"  
Poppin turned to look at him closely.  
"You happened."  
  
Bucky threw his mouthful of tea back into his cup in surprise, earning another giggle from Poppin.  
"I mean, you were a deciding factor Bucky. Loki always had reservations, he worried if we were a bonded pair, we would manage to conceive a pup." Poppin explained.  
"And you don’t agree you would?" Bucky asked  
"I was told in my teens I can’t have pups, around the time my scent disappeared." She replied simply.  
"And you believe that, still?" Bucky blurted. Poppin blinked.  
"Why wouldn’t I?" She countered.  
"Well your scent came back. What if you could have Pups now?" Bucky asked.

Poppin was frowning. This has been a bad conversation to attempt.  
"My scent came back when I met you, but my heats didn’t. If I can’t make you rut, I won’t be able to make a pup." She replied curtly. "It doesn’t matter anyway; I don’t believe Loki and I would have managed to make a Pup even with if he had managed to make my scent and heats return."  
Bucky chewed in his cheek as he blurted "why?" Poppin sighed.  
  
"Loki’s bloodline struggle to conceive. If you think our reproductions are largely controlled by the solstice and equinoxes, they are mostly fertile during the winter solstice, so the chances were minimal anyway. Loki was terrified if we managed to conceive against all odds, I wouldn't be able to carry the pup to term."  
"Because he’s Asgardian?" Bucky asked  
"Loki is only Asgardian by nationality, ethnically he’s a Jotun, sometimes known as a Frost Giant," Poppin explained  
"Loki is a giant?" Bucky repeated.  
"He’s small for a giant, but yes. I was relieved you two battled with knives, serious or not, he would be stronger than you." Poppin smiled. "After everything we’ve learnt of the universe the past few years does it surprise you to know a giant?"  
  
Bucky was quiet for a moment, thinking through everything he had seen in Wakanda. The alien beings he had met; Thanos, Thor and the Guardians.  
"No, I guess it doesn’t," he admitted. "Go back to the part where you didn’t bond because of me?"  
Poppin raised an eyebrow as she continued.  
"We were talking it all through again, now that he is based in Norway, then you arrived and the kitchen incident happened," she smirked as she looked at him "It put things into perspective for us. We would have made a good bonding pair, but you and me? We would be better."  
  
Bucky felt his breath constrict in his chest as she spoke, this was unbelievable, everything he had wanted, and it was spilling out her mouth like music to his ears. Poppin had reached below the blanket and was holding his metal hand in hers again, their fingers intertwined.  
  
"I don’t mean to scare you with this conversation, and I don’t want you to feel pressure to bond with me." she admitted "I just want to explain, Loki left to give us a chance at getting to know each other in our own time and at our own pace. Admittedly he goes about things in a roundabout way... he was very apologetic to me about turning up in your apartment. He only ever does something if he cares about it. He cares about us being together, and we weren’t... so he changed it. You arriving at this compound secured our own relationship. We won’t be bonding because he wants me to be with you."  
  
"So what happened in the kitchen... Bonding with me... Even after Katie... It could be back on the table?" Bucky asked hopefully  
  
Poppin turned to look him with a warm smile. "Bucky, we may not yet be the perfect partnership, but you were never off the table."


	30. 14th January #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've been working on Poppins communication over the weekend x

Poppin watched Bucky gazing over the compound grounds. Chewing his cheek, eyebrows furrowed with a tense jaw. He was deep in thought.   
  
"What're you thinking?" You asked gently. Bucky swallowed hard before turning to you.  
"Did you and Loki share your bed?" He asked  
"Yes." You answered simply. Bucky frowned as he looked down to his knees.  
"I don't want to know about that." He grumbled.  
"If you don't like the answers then ask better questions." You countered.  
Bucky frowned at you.  
"Were you two... intimate?" He asked  
"No. I thought you…"  
"Did you want it to be?" He interrupted.  
"No." You answered bluntly. "We shared a bed but it wasn't like that. It wasn't sexual."  
"But if you had bonded it might have been." Bucky replied "Bonded couples instincts are heightened too..."  
"No. Bucky, don't do this to yourself." You interrupted him. Bucky frowned as he looked back to the sky. "That's not the point of me discussing him with you. I'm not answering your questions for you to feel more insecure. I'm talking to you about Loki so you know where you stand. What you mean to me."   
  
Bucky turned back to you.  
"You don't talk about bonding with me." He mumbled sadly.  
"I know." You answered, placing a hand on his.  
"You're not talking about it on purpose?" He asked.  
"Consider it a superstitious thing. No one I've ever discussed bonding with has ever worked out long enough to bond." You admitted. "I don't want to jinx us."   
Bucky nodded as he gazed at your hand on his. Slowly, he turned his palm upright, inviting your fingers to wrap around his own.  
"You do think of bonding then. With me?" He asked  
"Bucky, bonding with you is _all_ I think about," You smiled  
"Not Loki." He countered, making you chuckle as you squeezed his hand.   
  
"No. I don't think of bonding with Loki. Our relationship is built on companionship. Not much different to Me and Sam." You explained.  
"But you've never talked to Sam about bonding."  
You bit your lip as you took a deep breath. Trying to get your words in order.  
"I wanted to bond with Loki, before I met you, because he was by far the closest Alpha to me. I'm a woman in my 30s. I don't want to feel alone forever. I'm already pupless and reminded of it every day. My parents are gone. I wanted someone to share my life with, and he was a great Alpha for the role." You sighed and sat back into the bench. "Settling down with him, it didn't feel like I was settling."  
You spared a glance for Bucky who was back to chewing his cheek as he usually did when he was uncomfortable.  
"Not until the day you arrived. You really fucked up my plans, do you know that Bucky?"   
  
Bucky flinched back in shock, at your admittance or your language, you weren't completely sure.  
"What?" He blurted.  
"You heard." You responded bluntly. "I had my plans. Then you turned up here and interrupted my breakfast with your delicious scent and your perfect protective build and my god if we had been given just 2 more minutes you could have bonded with me right there on the kitchen floor. I've never felt instinct like it."  
You spared him another glance. Bucky was watching you closely.  
"I couldn't think straight for _days_ after meeting you _._ My mating gland throbbed for a week. I had to get Loki a new room because I couldn't handle his scent in my apartment. It's another reason why he left. He knew I couldn't be near him whilst you were in the compound."   
  
You wiped your cheeks, tears had spilt as you got emotional and the cold air was making them burn your skin.  
"I was practically clawing up my door to see you again, but I couldn't force you to interact if you weren't ready. So I waited. I got it, your need for distance. The compound takes some getting used too, and there was the kitchen incident to unpack. Steve told me you went on suppressants to be in the same room with me so I went on them too. But even then, I thought I could scent you sometimes. Like you'd been near my office door, but when I would run out to look you'd never be there."   
  
Bucky had swivelled on the bench to face you, dropping your hand, his left arm draped over the back, behind you.  
"You're on suppressants." He repeated. You nodded.  
"I thought, if you had done it, it made sense for me to do it too."   
"But I can still scent you." He replied.  
"I know, imagine how bad we would scent each other without the suppressants." You smiled sadly. "Suppressants aren't strong enough to keep you and I apart. Bucky, I would bond with you on this rooftop. If I could give you a pack of pups, I would."  
Bucky brushed your cheek with a thumb, he remained in silence as his eyes became glossy.   
  
"I don't know how to say the right words to make you not care about Loki. You don't need to care about him because all I care about is being with you." You stifled a sob, feeling a burn in your sinuses.   
"What I said, after you presented, about taking this a day at a time. It was a mistake. I don't want to take this a day at a time. I just want to be with you. I missed you so much this week. I couldn't focus without you. Not knowing where you were, if you were safe. I just, I get scared to admit my feelings in case you would turn me away."   
  
"Come here Pops." Bucky shuffled closer, gently lifting you up into his lap. He held you close as you sobbed, resting your head on Bucky's shoulder as you watched the sunrise to a crisp blue daylight.  
"I'll never turn you away. I think we are already too late for that possibility."  
He nuzzled against your hairline as you both looked out onto the compound   
  
"I was by your office. In the beginning. I used to come watch you unpack the post bag because it was when you were most distracted. I kept having to hide in the toilet if you looked like you could scent me before sneaking back up the stairs. Sam caught me once." Bucky admitted "He told me if he caught me doing that again he would hide my suppressants and lock us into your office."  
You giggled as you wiped your cheeks dry.   
  
"I think about bonding with you all the time too Pops." He laid a kiss on your forehead. "If I could give you a pack of pups, I would. I wont bond with you on this roof though. Not without your chimney on. It's far too cold."  
You smiled into his chest as a warm feeling blossomed in your heart. So long you had carried around these feelings, with no one to give them too. No one deserving of them. But here he was, holding you close. Listening and accepting you.   
  
"I didn't think I'd have the opportunity for this." Bucky mumbled.   
You lifted your head to look at him.  
"Bonding during the sunrise?" You asked trying to connect the dots.  
"A future." He replied, sparing you a glance before turning back to the sun. "Choosing it. Planning it. Living it. I spent so long without a choice. Without the opportunity to consider what I wanted. And then Steve found me on that bridge. He didn't think twice about getting to Wakanda for rehabilitation. He didn't think twice about having me brought here for a second chance. I thought a life changing moment meant clearing my name, or successfully attending therapy. Instead, I met you. A True Mate, after all these decades."   
  
"You were waiting for me. You know that right? That's why your scent stopped. You were meant for me." He smiled as he laid a soft kiss on you lips.  
"I am yours, Alpha." You spoke softly as you returned the presentation words back to him.   
Bucky held you tighter.  
"I am yours, Omega." He smiled back at you. "You are my future. Together we can make of it what we want."   
  
You felt your breath stutter in your chest as butterflies erupted in your stomach at his words. What did you want in your future? It always felt so far away, and out of your hands. Bucky. Yes, but what else? You wanted to be secure. You wanted to be surrounded by a pack who cared for you. You still wanted some spontaneity, but honestly the compound had provided all these things and more. If nothing changed for another 30 years you would be happy.   
  
"I used to have lots of plans, and something out of my control always changed them. I wanted a family and my scent stopped. I wanted a career and I became my parent’s carers till I was 30. I think now, I'd like to be contented. But I'd like to spend it with you." You smiled shyly. "What would you like from your future?"   
  
Bucky had taken a deep breath as he considered his options.   
"Retirement." He replied with a chuckle. "Our own little place to grow old in. Somewhere quiet. With lots of sky. Guest rooms, for the pack to visit. An entire wall of bookshelves in our reading room and a garden I could grow vegetables in."  
"Can I have a bookshelf of recipes in the kitchen?" You asked, smiling fondly.  
"You can have whatever you like My Love." Bucky replied, a look of surprise washed over his features at his familiarity. He settled a kiss upon your forehead.   
  
"Will you come back to my apartment? Stay for the day?" You asked looking up to him. "I'll check the others don't need me but I could stay, with you. We could just be together."  
Bucky held you closer as he swivelled you round to stand in the chilly morning air.  
"Pops, you're cute, but you know the moment I enter your apartment I'll be burning your mattress." He chucked as he stood, gathering up your bowls and mugs. "Come to my apartment Omega, I have a surprise for you, it's time you received it." He grinned.  
  
  
  
  
  
Entering Bucky’s apartment for the first time since your fallout made you nervous. You weren’t one to hold on to negative energy but it felt awkward as he opened the door, holding it open for you to follow behind him, over his threshold.   
  
The first thing you noticed was a large heavy dark grey curtain swept over the archway to his bedroom, hiding it from view.  
"When did you install a curtain?" You asked in awe as you stood awkwardly in his living room, Bucky's eyes darted to it briefly.   
"Oh, I felt like this place needed a little more privacy." He answered bustling to the kitchen to place the bowls and mugs into the sink to wash up. You watched him. He was flustered.   
"Privacy? In a one bed apartment?" You questioned as he held out his hand for the thermos. Bucky’s eyes darted to the curtain once more as he frowned.  
"Well. You don’t know who could walk in. You've got Level 1 access to all rooms but so does Steve." He explained, adding the thermos into the sink pile.  
"We could change your apartment, to one with more of a door, not just a partition. If you'd prefer." You offered as you kicked off your shoes.   
  
"No, that's not necessary. I like the view from here, I've got the curtain, it works for me." He smiled as he took your hands, leading you towards his bedroom. He paused in front of the curtain, looking between you and the covering.  
"Wait, just a minute. No peeking." He dropped your hands as he ducked behind the heavy material. You heard him shuffling around his bedroom and a click before he reappeared with a nervous smile plastered over his features.  
"Are you ready?" He asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet.   
  
You laughed as you looked him up and down.  
"Are _you_ ready? I've never seen you so flustered."  
He took your hand, giving it a squeeze.   
"I just. I hope you like it. Close your eyes Pops." Bucky ducked down to kiss your cheek as you closed your eyes.   
  
You heard the curtain scrape across its rail, you stepped forwards with Bucky's guidance before the curtain scraped back behind you.  
"When you're ready, open your eyes."   
  
You felt your jaw drop at the scene before you.   
  
Bucky's bed frame, whose headboard had previously been pushed against his ceiling to floor window was gone. His mattress, though still in the same position, was not only larger now, but enclosed within a large structure of translucent white netted curtains. Domed like the big top tent of a circus at its peak it looked like a princess should sleep underneath the netting fanned out down the perimeter of the mattress.   
  
Pointing towards the structure but unable to articulate any thoughts you turned back to Bucky who was blushing profusely under your scrutiny.  
"I built it in the afternoons, now I don’t have history lessons. Get closer, have a look." He encouraged as he darted forward, pulling a section of netted curtain aside for you to see within the dome. You dare not enter, but you knelt down to look closer.   
  
Inside, were Bucky’s bedsheets and duvet placed on his mattress as usual. Bordering the mattress were 4 walls of long thick rectangular cushion. You turned to the right to see the corners buckled together to strengthen their integrity, creating a squishy but sturdy frame. To the right, your usual side of the bed, within arms reach were layers upon layers of various blankets of different sizes, textures and shades of grey to black.   
  
To the left of the bed, on Bucky’s usual side instead of blankets were a collection of long pillows of various lengths and softness. You looked above your head to see a cluster of string lights illuminating the nest in a golden glow, twirled around the structure fanning out much like the underside of an umbrella. Some strings were draped down the sides of the frame, twirling to the ground.   
  
You stood on shaky legs as the fluttering in your chest and stomach complicated your train of thought.   
  
A nest. Bucky had built a nest. For you, for the two of you to share. Shutting your eyes you took a deep breath of his scent permeated around the room. Oh how you wanted to roll around in those sheets. With him preferably, but oh. Yes. You needed this nest. You needed his company. You didn't want to sleep in your apartment anymore. Would it be possible to move in here now? Just burrow in and never leave.   
  
You realised you were gulping down deep breaths when Bucky approached from behind. He placed both hands on your hips, gently grounding you back into the room. You turned to him, opening your eyes as you placed you palms upon his chest. Warm. comfortable. Dependable. Just like that first morning in the kitchen.  
"What do you think?" Bucky asked tentatively.   
Your brain felt like it was short circulating as you managed to blurt out the words.  
"I think I am completely in love you."


	31. 14th january #4

Bucky closed the miniscule gap between him and his Omega, scooping Poppin up into his arms as she threw her limbs around him.  
  
"I am completely in love you Pops." He nuzzled into her jaw as he stepped towards the nest, pulling aside the netting to enter.  
Carefully he crouched down, making sure to pull the curtain back into place behind them as he placed Poppin down into his sheets.  
Safe. Secure. His Omega was in his safe space, breathing deep with delight as he nuzzled back into her neck.  
  
_Consistency. Strong bond. Security. Companionship._  
  
Immeasurable pride filled Bucky’s chest when Poppin held him closer. She purred loudly in his ear, landing kisses on his temple till he pulled back to gaze into her eyes.  
"You built a nest." She beamed, running his hands through the sides of his hair. Her eyes a little glossy. Bucky ducked down to nuzzle his nose against hers, trying to soothe her from being overwhelmed.  
"I built _you_ a nest. Somewhere you know you are always safe."  
Poppin chuckled lightly.  
"Alpha, I am always safe when I'm with you."  
  
Bucky ghost his lips against hers, trailing down to her jaw, to the soft spot below her ear, and down further to her mating gland. Not meant to be teasing, just delicate. Soft. Soothing. Little jolts of excitement in his belly each time his lips dusted against her skin. He could scent her excitement. Her contentment. Her arousal.  
Poppin reacted by arching her back into his touch. Snaking his arms around her waist to hold her closer, her hands held him firmly. Secure. Safe. Unable to pull away if he wanted. He never would, of course. Never let her go. Never turn away. Never reject her. Not again. Bucky leant to place himself above her. Poppin smiled up at him, her usual eye colour turning to black as her pupils enlarged, Bucky had no doubt his were matching hers.  
  
Both melted into one another instantly as their lips played together, working up a rhythm before he felt her tongue tease his mouth a little wider. He dropped his hips down to rest his body weight against her as they danced together, pouring each other’s affection into another.  
  
Crowded in against his bedsheets Bucky was suddenly painfully aware of how close the two of them were to each other, Poppin must have noticed too, because she pushed him away to lean back against his pillows whilst pulling herself up to straddle his lap. She leant down, presenting her neck the way she usually did when he needed to scent her closely.  
  
Bucky nuzzled in, rubbing his nose against her scent gland, leaving little kisses upon it, making her shudder against his chest. Her palms rest on his shoulders, grounding herself. Enjoying the sensation of his right hand roaming from her thigh, up, under her warm jumper and t shirt to her back, rubbing wide round circles on her smooth skin, keeping her locked against him. Bucky hummed as the nerves in his palm tingled. It felt good. It felt as good as the kitchen incident good.  
"Alpha," she breathed into his hairline, she edged her hips closer to him, causing friction between the two of them. Bucky hummed in reply, he felt his voice vibrate across her collarbone. Another shudder from his Omega above him as she rolled her hips against his, causing a stronger friction against a familiar tenting of his tactical suit.  
  
Bucky’s breath staggered. This felt different to the past times he and Poppin had canoodled on each other’s beds. An urgency was taking hold of the two of them. The instinct felt stronger. His mind felt clouded. Not in a way he had been subjected too before. Could it be the effects of a nest? Or the presentation words? The two of them hadn’t reached this far before. This was a feeling of absolute surety and composure. An inevitable dance. Would he remember what to do? Wait. Yes. He _had_ felt this cloudy before. That day in the kitchen. The first morning he entered the compound. He had known what to do then. He knew now. Taking a deep breath Bucky allowed his instincts to take over. His left hand helped Poppin to roll her hips against him.  
  
"Again." Poppin whispered,  
Bucky ground her against him again, then again. Her groan filled the netted space, escaping from deep in her throat. He ground her again. Repeating his hip roll and pulling her down against him. It felt so good. So right. So close. Gasping down her peppermint scent, Bucky felt more cloudy instead of clearer.  
  
With a flinch Poppin froze, trying to pull away far enough to catch his eye. He let her, leaning back so he could view her pretty face. All flushed. Just how he enjoyed her the most. Poppin cupped his cheek as they laid panting, nose to nose.  
"Wait, do you want this?" She choked.  
Nodding as he struggled to get his words in order. Bucky held her tightly.  
"Omega. Don’t stop." He urged, fisting her hair.

She smirked as she maneuvered herself to present to him once more, running a hand into his hair. Bucky purred as his tongue lapped at her mating gland like a cat with cream. Each time Poppin ground down on him, a jolt of energy would run through his navel. A pressure was building within him making the undersides of his feet tingle sensitively. His breathing had picked up. Her movements began to stutter above him. The friction relaxing her down onto him over and over.  
  
Poppin moaned low into his ear. Removing her hand from his hair she didn’t give him a chance to stop her rotating down to suck on his own gland. Bucky jerked up into her as he groaned loudly into the nest. Both his hands holding her tightly on the hips as the pressure released and the two of them both came to completion.  
Absolute pleasure flowed through his veins to his toes as his muscles spasmed underneath his Omega.

Bucky hadn’t realised he had held his breath as Poppin let go of his mating gland, she licked him in submission as he slowed his grinding movements.  
Both breaths matched up as they slowed back to normal. The cloud began to evaporate from the space. Fuzzy thoughts swam around Bucky’s brain as he tried to make sense of what had happened.

He had managed to make Poppin orgasm without touching her intimately. He attempted to organise the jumble of feelings, she stirred within him. The loudest acknowledgement running through his brain right now was that he wasn't sorry. He didn’t regret this. This felt right. He wanted to do it again. Was she sorry? Did she regret this? It didn’t sound like she had regret this. She had made noises he had never heard before though. Noises he had made her make.  
  
"Omega." He lent back. "Are you, you're okay?" His brows knotted together in concern as he stroked Poppins hair.  
She let out an undignified snort.  
"Yes Alpha. I'm..." She giggled, nuzzling into his cheek. "better."  
"I didn’t mean too... I wasn’t expecting..." Bucky rambled "I haven’t... It’s been a while since I... Are you sure you're okay?"  
Poppin chuckled running her hands through his hair before pressing her lips to his, he felt her melt into him with sincerity as he wrapped his arms around her to roll her onto her side.  
  
Sure to keep her leg latched onto his hip he leant forward to her side of the bed in order to pull a blanket across the two of them before shuffling himself down to be face to face with his Omega.  
Bucky sighed gently as he closed his eyes, enjoying the throbbing of his mating gland. He felt a familiar nose nuzzle against his own before a gentle kiss was landed on his forehead.  
  
Opening his eyes to his beautiful Omega, Poppin was practically glowing as she laid in his nest. Eyes bright and a blush in her cheeks. Her lips a plump pinky shade for colliding with his stubble. Limbs intertwined with his own. Cocooned within his arms. Protected by one of his blankets. She looked as contented as he had ever seen her.  
"I love you Pops." Bucky whispered.  
"I love you Bucky." Poppin returned his whisper with a giggle. "And I love your nest."  
"You do?" He asked, a smile spreading across his face as his chest fluttered in excitement.  
"I do." Poppin confirmed, running a hand through his hair.  
  
Bucky purred as her nails scratched lightly at his scalp.  
"Enough to move in with me?" Bucky asked timidly "I built it for you."  
Poppins jaw dropped in surprise as her eyebrows flew up.  
"You want me to move in here?" She clarified propping herself up upon an elbow.  
"Or I could move into your apartment. Whichever you feel most comfortable with Omega." Bucky smiled as Poppin leant down to nuzzle his cheek with her nose. “Wherever we are, I want to share.”  
"I would love to move into here with you Alpha." She smiled, kissing his cheek. "Are you sure?"  
Bucky chuckled.  
"Pops, I haven’t been more sure of anything in my life."

  
  
Watching his Omega reassemble the nest he had built to her taste may be a new contender on Bucky’s list of favourite things.  
Instructed to shower and change into his comfy clothes, Bucky returned to the nest to find Poppin becoming acquainted to the space he had made for her, he was quiet and patient as she analysed the different blankets and pillows, he had collected, making a pile of which items would need for tonight's sleep and which could be better for different seasons. Bucky followed her instructions in regard to placement and plumping, earning a loud purr when she returned from her own shower.  
  
Wrapped together under the blankets with his Omega, Bucky nuzzled his scent across Poppins hairline before pulling the blankets up towards her ears, the fatigue of the past week catching up to him. He fell asleep before Poppin could reach over to turn off the string lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest, writing the chapter was scary and stressful and NOT my comfort zone, but if only one person finds it satisfactory than i'll be happy 😊


	32. 15th January

"So?" Nat was smirking on your doorstep. "Where have _you_ been all morning?"  
"Mostly downstairs, doing yesterday’s work." You chuckled shutting your front door behind her.  
"Pops, what happened in here?" Nat was looking around the mess that was your apartment.  
  
In fairness to her, your apartment hadn’t been in this much disarray even when you moved in the first time. Your bookshelf of books, trinkets & odd memory items was now transferred into a couple of boxes, whilst your wardrobe door was rolled open on one side. The rail of clothes half empty whilst the other half sat folded inside a black bin bag. You were currently sorting through pairs of shoes you had accumulated over the years, reconnecting them to their original boxes as you realised, they'd never been broken in and deserved to be donated with the clothes you’d never worn.  
  
"I'm having a declutter." You explained with a smile.  
"Are you decluttering your mattress?" She asked pointing at the mattress piled off your bed, vertically against the wall.  
"You could say that, I have a replacement. Shall we get the kettle on?" You asked as you crossed the apartment to the kitchen.  
"Get the kettle on, then we can open the wine." Nat suggested.  
You laughed as someone rapped on your front door.  
  
"Maybe once all this is organised, I've bit off more than I can chew." You replied as Nat opened the door to Sam.  
"Barnes won’t tell me why he’s so happy. Let me see your gland." Sam demanded as he bowled into your apartment.  
"Good afternoon to you too." You protested as Sam pulled down the neck of your jumper. "We've not bonded Sam."  
"Why is Barnes got a shit eating grin then?" He took in the state of the apartment. "And what happened in here? Pops. Your apartment is a pigsty."  
  
"I'm decluttering." You answered turning back to the kettle, you shook a mug at Nat and Sam. "Coffee?"  
"Why're you decluttering?" Sam replied as Nat nodded with a smile.  
"Because." You answered with a smirk, flicking your kettle on as you prepared the mugs.  
"Because why?" Sam answered crossing his arms and glaring.  
"Is Bucky not allowed to be happy?" You asked.  
"Not without good reason. Why you changing the subject?" Sam retorted.  
"You came in here talking about Bucky, not me." You countered feeling smug.  
"Sit down Wilson, Pops was just about to begin a story." Nat instructed. "Start at the beginning. How’s your week been?" she gestured for you to continue. You thought back to the past week.  
  
Hard. Lonely. Desperate. Then the relief of seeing Bucky at your front door. The overwhelming relief and love and adoration and the tears and his arms and the back of the couch and him holding you and his kisses and his cheeks. His cheeks were wet. Bucky sobbing into your shoulder.  
  
"It was really tough without you all." You admitted, turning to the two of them, sat at your breakfast bar. "It was hard to hear Bucky really struggled with this mission."  
"An understatement." Sam grumbled, looking grave. "We should have left him at home."  
"I’ve already discussed this with Steve." Nat commented looking between the both of you. "Bucky sat next to the door of the safe house for the week, barely eating or sleeping. It was too soon to take him into the field."  
"Am I allowed to suggest Steve talks to Bucky about it?" You asked  
"They're down in the gym right now." Sam replied, "Steve was planning to talk with him once they'd had a good night's sleep."  
  
Sam's phone began to buzz in his pocket, he smirked as he stared at the screen.  
"Talk of the devil. How can I help Cap?" He grinned as he accepted the call. "Where'd you think I am? I'm with your Omegas. I'm finding out what he’s so happy about. No, I checked. Her gland is still clean."  
You slid the steaming mug of coffee towards him.  
"He what? Sounds good. I'm up for a grocery shop. Yeah, it's up against her wall. She said she’s decluttering. Mhmm. Where shall I meet you? Okay, see you soon."  
Sam lowered his phone.  
  
"Why is Bucky asking where your mattress at?" He asked.  
"He’s the one who put it against the wall." You shrugged.  
"Why is Bucky Barnes putting your mattress against the wall?" Sam asked  
"Did you finally tell him Loki slept on it?" Nat grinned excitedly.  
"Yes. He wasn’t happy." You laughed  
"So he’s buying you a new one?" Nat asked  
"He already has." You smirked.  
  
"So, hold on, Bucky arrived here burnt out and overwhelmed. You then told him an Alpha shared your bed and he’s still got a smile on his face?" Sam frowned. "Catch me up."  
You sat down with your own mug of tea.  
"I told Bucky I wanted to bond with him." You smiled, watching the delight as both their jaws dropped in surprise.  
"And what he say?" Sam exclaimed; Nat swiped at his chest with the back of her hand.  
"He said he wanted to bond with me too." You frowned at Sam.  
"Of course he did." Nat rolled her eyes.  
"I accepted his presentation. Properly. With the words." You continued, looking down at your mug.  
"Oh my god. What did he do?" Nat gasped.  
"He must have accepted?" Sam asked excitedly as you nodded.  
  
"Did you tell him you love him?" Nat grinned. You felt heat rise in your cheeks as you blushed.  
"Mhmm." You replied, delighting in both Sam and Nat’s jaws dropped to the floor again.  
"Did he say it back?" Nat asked quietly.  
You grinned in reply making Sam and Nat squeal together.  
"He did." You admitted "but this isn’t the big bit."  
"How can this get bigger?!" Sam screeched "Nat, I take it back. Bring Bucky back on the next mission. It pushes him to progress."  
Nat chuckled as they both turned back to you.  
  
"So, we come back downstairs to nap the mission off, but he wouldn’t come stay in my bed." You gestured towards your upturned mattress.  
"Downstairs?" Nat asked  
"Oh, we were on the roof for fresh air." You explained.  
"Why wouldn’t he come stay in your bed?" Nat asked.  
"Loki’s bed." Sam grinned.  
"It's not Loki’s bed." You retorted in outrage.  
"It's kind of Loki’s bed." Nat agreed with a shrug.  
"It's my bed." You grumbled. "Anyway, he invites me to his apartment, he gets me to close my eyes and brings me to his bedroom."  
  
"Pops what did you do in his bedroom?" Sam asked with delight.  
"I'm getting to that part." You chuckled  
"Oh my. You did stuff." Nat gasped.  
"Hold on!" You protested as their faces lit up again.  
"You did stuff with Bucky?" Sam questioned  
"No! Well kind of..." You faltered.  
"Poppin!" Nat screeched  
"Bucky Barnes has defiled you!" Sam exclaimed  
"Not yet." You chuckled. "We kept our clothes on."  
"Poppin!" Nat screeched again as Sam's phone buzzed again.  
  
"Sorry Cap, I'm on my way." Sam chuckled down the phone. "Story time was worth it. Did he tell you?"  
He smirked as he stood, landing kisses on both your cheeks before placing his full mug of coffee down the sink. "Dry humping?!" He screeched turning to stare at your blushing face. "Poppin. I am shocked. Appalled. In awe. Get it girl. _Alright Steve,_ I'm in my way now. "  
He landed another quick peck in your heated cheek before running out the door, unable to hear Steve over Nat’s cackling.  
  
Nat turned back to you once she had consoled herself.  
"What else?" She asked with a knowing smile.  
"Bucky has made us a nest." You smiled proudly.  
"Bucky made a _nest_?" Nat repeated  
"Nat, it's beautiful." You beamed "He’s made a structure in his bedroom, and it’s his mattress sunken down and it holds its scent and I felt so much closer to him in it. Like it was a real mutual space for us."  
"He’s made you a den." Nat replied in surprise.  
"Don’t be silly, Dens are for families." You scoffed.  
"Pops, serious, a nest is a small space for a couple, that’s why we use closet space. If Bucky’s made a structure, big enough for a mattress inside then, it sounds like he’s expecting to fill a den." Nat had raised an eyebrow. "Have you discussed pups together?"  
  
"We discussed _not_ having pups together." You swirled your tea in the mug. "I wouldn’t read into it, I think he just got carried away."  
Nat watched you closely as she drained her own mug.  
"So all this mess," She gestured to the apartment. "This can’t be just a declutter."  
"No, he’s asked me to move in with him." You bit your lip as your smile faltered.  
  
“But something feels off.” Nat noticed, of course Nat noticed. “Is it his night terrors?”  
“No. They don’t bother me." You admitted "We’ve got a good routine on how to wake him up safely and he says they’re less frequent now.”  
“So talk to me Pops. What’s up?” Nat inclined her head.  
"Is it too quick?" You asked "I don’t, I've never come this far with an Alpha before. I don’t know if this is being rushed."  
"No no no." Nat shook her head. "You two can be described as anything but rushed. You're like teenagers who don’t know where to stick it."  
"We _are_ building up to that. I guess you could consider us a slow burn?" You swirled your cup of tea before taking a sip, smirking at your best friend who was staring at you looking exasperated.  
"A slow burn? I've been watching this love story slow burn since the autumn. Enough slow burning. Let's get your smoulder on."  
You snorted as you took both mugs to your sink.  
"Pops, you two _kill me_. I want action! I am sexually frustrated _for you._ " Nat smirked as you let slip a chuckle.  
  
"Does it feel right?" She asked bluntly.  
"Yes." You didn’t need to consider your reply.  
"Then don’t think twice Pops." Nat grinned "what can I help declutter?"  
You looked around the room, taking a deep breath.  
"Once I finished my shoes, I have that knick knack stationary drawer, my lotions and potions drawer, and then just the kitchen and bedding."  
  
A few hours of decluttering with Nat’s help, and you had a healthy pile of bin bags to donate to various places; a box of things to be gifted to the communal kitchen, a box of stationary to return to your office and finally the leftover boxes of what you were keeping to move into Bucky’s apartment.  
  
No, _your_ new apartment. Your Den? Would it jinx it to call it a Den as Nat had suggested? You weren't sure. Perhaps you would bring it up with Bucky and see what he thought.  
  
The two of you had made your way to the communal living space as the Alphas were still taking part in the grocery shop Sam had mentioned earlier. Nat had realised it was becoming an impromptu girl’s day and had cracked open the wine as Steve, Sam and Bucky arrived back laden with bags.  
  
"What on earth? Guys, I'll be doing a shop on Monday?" You exclaimed as they each laid a bag on the table.  
"We just got some celebration snacks." Sam shrugged.  
  
Bucky had crossed the kitchen to greet you sat on the opposite side of the table. He sighed happily as he held your waist closely, resting his cheek on your shoulder.  
"Omega, how have you been today?" He asked.  
"Good thank you Alpha, how was your grocery trip?" You replied, reaching back to stroke his hair. He hummed happily.  
"Bucky stayed in the van." Sam smirked from across the table. Bucky grunted in reply before letting you go to sit on the chair next to you.  
"I was wondering if I could cook your dinner tonight?" He asked taking your hand. He raised it to his lips where he lightly kissed your knuckles.  
"Oh. Yes please." You giggled melting at Bucky's attempt at throwing his moves around. "What're you cooking for us?"  
Bucky smirk faltered as he blinked a few times. He turned to Sam who had come to lean on the kitchen table, grinning like a Cheshire cat at the display.  
  
"How'd you like Pad Thai Pops?" Sam asked with a chuckle. "Don’t worry he'll be doing it, I'm just gonna guide him." He wiggled his eyebrows at you for good measure.  
"I'd love a Pad Thai" You smiled  
"I’d also love Pad Thai." Nat added from next to Sam.  
"We can do some extra for you Nat, what about you Steve?" Sam asked.  
"I'll have whatever's going, shall I get Bruce involved?" Steve began to pull out his phone.  
"Guys this isn’t really romantic if you're all joining us." Bucky grumbled.  
  
"What's more romantic that cooking for your pack Barnes? We got a celebration on our hands if the rumours of yesterday are true." Sam replied.  
Bucky blushed as he turned to you in surprise.  
"Celebration?" He whispered, leaning in closer. "Which part are we celebrating?"  
"The presentation and the moving in." You whispered back. He grinned back at you as he laid a kiss on your forehead, aware everyone was watching with various degrees of smirks on their faces.  
  
"So, we are all agreed on a pack dinner.” Nat grinned mischievously  
“what flavour Pad Thai are we having?" You asked Bucky trying to change the conversation.  
"Umm." He faltered for an answer, his brow furrowing at the question.  
"Chicken." Sam offered.  
"Chicken." Bucky repeated quick off the bat, a smile back on his face.  
"Can we have crunchy peanuts on top?" You asked, rubbing your finger tips in a show of sprinkling said peanuts.  
Bucky stood staring at you.  
Sam watched the two of you with a smirk on his face until he saw Bucky beginning to turn back.  
"Yes." Sam chuckled.  
"Yes. Of course, Pops. Yes." Bucky repeated squeezing your hand. "Anything you want on your... Pad... Thai?"  
  
You giggled as you pulled him into a hug, his limbs melted around you as he nuzzled into your hair.  
"It’s noodles with flavour and crunch." You explained. "I think you'll enjoy it."  
"Are you ready to move?" Bucky asked, leaning up to kiss your forehead.  
"All packed, Nat helped me declutter the excess, just wanted you to give the green light." You explained.  
  
"Consider the green light given." Bucky beamed.  
"If you want, Nat and I could go move your boxes now?" Steve offered, his cheeks a little flushed with pink.  
“Excuse me?” Nat stared at her alpha as she topped up her wine glass. “I’ve done my share of work, you’ve got the muscles.”  
"I can do it," You protested. "There’s only 6 or so in total, I'll move them in the morning."  
  
"How about, Nat and Steve help you move some boxes whilst Bucky gets dinner on? Then it's done!" Sam suggested with his head back in the fridge, laying ingredients up on his arms. Nat grunted.  
"I’d really like to begin tomorrow with you moved in." Bucky added as he looked down at you with such adoration you could almost feel a warmth spread through your chest.  
"I don't want to inconvenience you guys," You admitted.  
"No inconvenience. We want too." Steve replied simply. “even Nat.”  
"Earn your noodles, Romanoff." Sam chided.  
“Fine. Come on Pops.” Nat slid off her chair with a small smirk on her face.  
  
You turned back to Bucky. Nodding as you stood, peeling yourself away from him.  
"Go on, I'll have a glass of wine ready for you when you come back from _our_ apartment." He grinned proudly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your kind comments on the previous chapter, consider my confidence boosted :)  
> I really love you guys.
> 
> A cheeky midweek post to say thank you to all who have helped this little story reach 500 kudos, but also the 100 people who have bookmarked it. The milestone's blow my tiny mind.
> 
> I feel like this is one of those filler chapters that frustrates me, but I reworked it more times than I care to admit and this was the best option. Regular programming will be back at the weekend.
> 
> Thank you all, again, for just being really lovely and supportive through these crazy days. X


	33. 15th January #2

Entering the apartment; _Their_ apartment, hand in hand, filled Bucky with a calm he hadn’t felt for months.   
  
Poppin had shut their front door behind her and kicked off her slippers whilst holding onto him, only to duck down and begin unlacing his boots one handed.

Bucky smiled as he watched her struggle, but when he tried to pull his left hand out of her grasp, she held tighter.  
"What’re you doing?" She asked suspiciously.  
"What’re _you_ doing?" Bucky countered, giving her a squeeze to show his point.   
"I just enjoy holding your hand." She admitted, a light blush rising in her cheeks.  
"This hand?" He asked as he struggled to step out of his boots.  
"Especially this hand." She replied gently. She ducked down to hold onto his heel as he pulled his feet out of each boot.  
"Why this one?" Bucky asked in confusion.  
"I just feel you have an issue of favouritism towards your right hand." Poppin shrugged as she stood.  
"Of course I do. Its mine." Bucky replied bluntly.  
"So is this one." Poppin replied giving him a little squeeze. "I just don’t want it to feel unloved."   
  
Bucky chuckled as he pulled them towards the bedroom. He planned to while away the rest of the night in the nest. No, _their_ nest. Holding his Omega in their space. After what happened the night before, he was interested to see what could happen tonight.   
  
Poppin paused before the open curtain, wrapping her arms around his waist.  
"How about, I run a bath?" She asked with an odd expression.  
"Sure," Bucky replied, a little disappointed she wouldn't be in his company. How long did a bath take? Turning towards the nest to get it prepped for when Poppin was done, Bucky was pulled back by his Omega.  
"For the two of us," Poppin added.   
  
Bucky mind went blank. He wasn’t a bath kinda guy. Had he ever been? Perhaps he could begin being a bath kinda guy. A bath _with_ Poppin? How would that work? His arm. His scars. He hadn’t shown her yet. She hadn’t seen. Apart from that morning at the pool. She had seen, but she hadn’t acknowledged. Would she mind? Would she care?   
  
"The two of us?" He repeated, knowing confusion was etched over this features.  
"The two of us." She repeated with a smile. "If, you’d like to join me?"  
Bucky wasn't sure what to say, but he felt himself nod.  
Poppin pulled him into the bathroom where she plugged the tub and turned on the hot tap to begin filling up.   
  
Turning to a box of toiletries she had moved in, she finally let got of his hand as she dug around to find a little cream ball of pressed powder.  
"What's this?" Bucky asked bringing it to his nose to smell. Poppin looked stricken.  
"Its a bath bomb?" She replied. "You haven’t seen one yet?"  
"What does it do?" Bucky scrunched his nose up as he sniffed it again.  
"It smells nice, this one is full of oils to moisturise us too." She explained turning to the water, she tested the temperature before adding the cold water to the mix.   
  
She turned back to him.  
"Plop it in, watch it dissolve." She smiled.   
Tentatively Bucky help out the little ball above the water.  
"You sure?" He asked. Poppin nodded.   
Watching the ball fall into the water, only to spring back up foaming and hissing filled Bucky with some morbid delight as he watching it tumble and turn in the water.  
"If I'd realised you've never seen a bath bomb I wouldn’t have wasted your first time on a colourless one!" Poppin commented sadly as it dissolved to nothing.   
"You get coloured ones?" Bucky asked turning back to her as she turned off the taps, checking the water once more.  
"All the colours of the rainbow. I've heard Sam is partial to one once in a while." Poppin smiled.   
  
Bucky shifted on his feet as Poppin removed her jumper, then her t shirt. Stood in her bra and lounging bottoms she stopped to look at him. He swallowed hard. He hadn’t seen Poppin so bare yet. He was familiar with how her skin felt. But he had never seen. Her skin looked as soft as it was to touch. He felt a jolt in his stomach as she smiled at him.  
"You okay?" She asked gently. Bucky nodded.  
Poppin continued to undress, removing her bottoms and her bra. She stood in front of him in her underwear, watching him closely.   
  
"You sure?" She asked tucking her fingers underneath Bucky’s shirt, she didn’t miss him flinch a little, dropping her hands immediately.   
Bucky grunted in frustration, chewing his cheek.  
"Sorry." He mumbled.  
"Don’t be." Poppin replied gently. She lowered the lid of the toilet and guided him to sit down.  
"Would you prefer to go back to the nest?" She asked, holding his hand. She gave it a squeeze.  
"No." Bucky mumbled feeling embarrassed at his reaction. Poppin stood for a moment before sitting back on the edge of the bath.   
  
"We’ve never been naked before have we." She commented. Bucky shook his head. "Would you prefer the lights off?"   
The lights off? That would work. She wouldn’t see his arm, or the scars if the lights were off. Slowly he nodded. Poppin dug back into her toiletries box and pulled out a thick pillar candle and a lighter. She placed the lit candle on the edge of the sink before she flicked off the bathroom lights so they were drenched in darkness bar the small flame flickering between them.   
  
"Is it me?" Poppin asked gently.  
"No." Bucky looked down to his knees.  
"Is it my touching you?" She asked just as gentle.  
"No." Bucky replied before faltering. "Kind of. It's not. It's not you touching me. Its, you haven’t seen me."  
"Seen you? Naked, no. I've seen you in swim shorts though." She answered lightly. "I liked what I saw that day,"   
"You did?" Bucky asked, raising his head enough to catch her eye.  
"Bucky, you're my Alpha, of course I did." Poppin stood briefly as she stepped forward to kneel in front of him. "How about we go back to the nest?"  
"You saw me without my arm." Bucky sighed "and you still liked it?"  
"Yes Alpha." Poppin soothed as she ran a hand over his knee.  
"Even where it joins?" He asked quietly. Poppins expression softened.  
"Bucky, let's go back to the nest, we don’t have to do this." She soothed.   
  
Bucky grunted in frustration again. He didn’t went to be making a scene. He wanted to keep Poppin happy. If Poppin wanted a bath, he should want a bath. He should be able to undress and get in the damn bath without incident.   
Poppin had stood up extending her hand to him.   
  
"I’m sorry Pops, I don’t mean to ruin your night." Bucky sighed heavily as he accepted her hand in his. The warmth of her touch ran all the way up his arm and into his chest, calming him once again.  
"You cant ruin my night when I'm spending it with you." Poppin replied gently as she blew out the barely warm candle and led him to their bedroom.  
"You're not getting your bath." Bucky murmured looking back to the tub full of warm water.  
"I don’t want the bath, I want you." Poppin smiled.   
  
The nest stood in darkness as moonlight extended over the trees outside into their bedroom, illuminating the shapes just enough to see properly. In the corner was the stack of Poppins boxes ready to unpack tomorrow.  
Poppin had taken a step towards him, pressing her bare chest against his shirt as she pulled his face down to reach her for a kiss.  
Bucky melted immediately, curling his arms around her as his lips moulded against hers.   
  
Peppermint, Poppins primary scent filled the room, but tonight there was more. Rosemary? He had scent it once before on her. At Christmas, the night they spent together for the first time.  
Bucky nestled his nose into her gland with a sigh.  
"I didn’t realise I'd react like this." He murmured.  
"I didn’t either," Poppin replied gently. Her fingers rose to tickle at his scalp. "I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable."  
Bucky pulled back to cup her pretty face.  
"I'm not uncomfortable because of you. I just." He grunted again in frustration. "I know you need to see, you're my Mate. I just didn’t think this would be hard. After all these years."  
"I don’t need to see until you're ready for me to see Bucky. We can keep shirts on if you prefer." Poppin replied softly "There is no rush with this."   
  
Bucky sighed. Guilt and frustration filled his chest as he looked down at his Omega. She was understanding, but she didn’t know how to help him. _He_ didn’t know how to help him. No one did. The long journey his therapist called it. _You're never quite finished_ , she would say. He needed to heal. He needed Poppins support, but how could she support something she didn’t understand?   
  
That day at the pool, finding Poppin swimming her lengths, being caught without his arm. Bucky had been mortified. Not even the fact it was Poppin had soothed him. It had meant to be Sam. Sam would have seen it and said something supportive and broken the ice and _then_ he could show Poppin. He needed more confidence, but did he deserve it? That arm had hurt countless victims. It had hurt him. He had stopped being Bucky Barnes the day the arm was fitted. Attached in pain and confusion without his consent.   
  
And yet, his Omega always reached for it. She had acknowledged he was preferential to his natural arm and instead made efforts to shower the metal prosthetic with just as much affection. A bit like him, he supposed. An Alpha, but not a proper one. Not an Alpha an Omega of her calibre deserved. He didn’t have all his limbs, nor his mind. He went to therapy 5 days a week just to work through the mess of guilt and memories and to learn coping mechanisms. He couldn’t rut, nor give her the gift of a pack of pups. He couldn’t provide the basic functions for his Omega and yet, she showered him with affection. She loved him. She accepted him for what he could provide and didn’t think twice about what he couldn’t. Poppin radiated pride whenever he was near. If he could bottle it up he would.   
  
"Shall we lay down?" Poppin asked, gesturing to the awaiting nest.  
"Can you, take off my shirt?" Bucky asked timidly "Please?"   
Poppin faltered for a moment, checking his expression was serious before she nodded. Her fingers curled underneath his shirt, keeping eye contact for any sign of distress on his part. She was gentle as she lifted, pausing only for him to raise his arms in time. Bucky bent his knees to duck down when she ran out of height, allowing her to pull his shirt the rest of the way down his arms and off.  
"Are you okay?" She asked softly.  
"Better." Bucky almost smiled as he took the half step towards her.   
  
"Tell me what you want." Poppin smiled gently, placing her hands on his hips.  
"I want to be closer to you." Bucky admitted, placing her hair behind her ear.  
"I need you to guide me, to achieve that." Poppin chuckled with a raised eyebrow.  
Swallowing hard, Bucky unbuttoned his trousers, allowing them to fall to his ankles. He stepped out as he tried to get his words in the right order.  
"Hold me, please." Bucky smiled softly.  
Poppin squeezed his hips with a smile, before wrapping her arms around Bucky’s neck. He bent down, lifting her thighs to rest upon his hips as she wrapped her legs around his middle. She held him close as he ducked them both down underneath the netting of the nest.   
  
Nestled in the nest, with his arms wrapped around his Omega, Bucky breathed in her scent, peppering kisses against her cheek, making her giggle. Bucky could feel her concern ebb away from her muscles as she relaxed underneath him.  
They laid there, nuzzling noses affectionately.  
"Do you feel any better?" Poppin whispered.  
"Much better for holding you Pops." Bucky smiled.   
  
Slowly Poppin reached up with a fingertip, holding it just above where the flesh of his chest met the metal of his left arm. She checked back in with eye contact, waiting for Bucky to nod his consent. He watched her lower her fingers onto the scarring.  
"Does it hurt?" Poppin asked quietly.  
"No." Bucky answered simply. The nerves in that section of his chest, side, shoulder and back had long since been destroyed. Though, nothing prepared him for the pleasing jolt on his stomach from her touch.  
Bucky watched her run her hand down under his arm, and up the other side of his back. She pulled him down to lay closer, pressing her cool chest against his as his body weight settled on top of her.  
"Does this bother you?" Poppin asked.  
Bucky reached down to lay a kiss on her forehead.   
  
"No Pops." He smiled, nuzzling his nose as he navigated to her scent gland. Poppin turned her head to the side, presenting the gland to him with a purr as his tongue began to lap at the sensitive area.  
Poppins scent exploded within the small space. Peppermint, a hint of rosemary, twisting and turning into something else, a soft sweet honey like scent Bucky hadn’t caught before.  
"Do you like the way my thighs hold you close Alpha?" Poppin asked quietly, her voice dropped down a few octaves.  
Bucky growled in response, rolling his hips up and against her, making her puff out her chest into him.   
  
"I want to show you, how much I love you." Bucky stuttered. "I want to touch you Omega."  
Poppin turned to look at him, her eyes blown black in large disks.  
"Touch me," She repeated, slurring slightly.   
Bucky’s brain felt foggy, as he acknowledged Poppin slipping her thumbs under the waistband of her underwear. He shifted off to the side of the nest, watching her as she effortlessly pushed down the last item of her clothing to her ankles, before kicking them off out the perimeter of the netting.  
"I can touch you, Alpha." Poppin hesitated as she hooked a single finger under the waistband of his boxers. Even drunk from the scent of the nest, she waited until Bucky ducked down to lay his lips upon hers before she pulled down his boxers, allowing him to slip them down to his knees, and off each ankle.   
  
Bucky moved his left leg over a little, pushing it between her knees as he adapted to the new positioning. She had lifted both legs to wrap around his waist, locking the limbs together. He shuffled a little, pressing her further towards the base of the nest as he dragged a blanket over the two of them, aware that an instinct was telling him to keep his Omega comfortable and warm. The nest was feeling cloudy again. Warm. Cosy. Like the night before but, better. Feeling himself nuzzled against Poppin felt like the most important thing in the world. Something to be protected. Savoured.   
  
He nuzzled at her hairline causing her to look upwards, her eyes were soft as he watched her carefully.  
"Omega." He whispered, returning to lap at her gland.  
Poppin shuddered under him. She reached for his right hand, laying his palm against the heat between her legs.  
"Touch me," she repeated softly, taking his middle finger, and rubbing it against the bundle of nerves just below her mound.  
Flicking, rolling and rotating on the sensitive nub with Poppins guidance had her jerking her hips up into his hand with soft moans as his tongue played with her scent gland, each movement gaining with velocity like a battery being charged the longer it went on.   
  
"You like me taking care of you?" He murmured quietly, into her skin.  
"Yes." She replied feeling bolder as her hips bucked once more. "I need you, inside. Now."  
Navigating his hand south, Poppin guided a single finger inside her. Grinding against him in ecstasy, Bucky grinned. Whilst memories of past Omegas and Betas were long gone, the muscle memory was returning. He ground down his palm against her clitoris giving himself the right angle to enter a second finger into her heat. He angled upwards, hitting the right spot to make her groan louder within the nest.   
  
Moving her arms from underneath him, Poppin raised them to rest her hands gently onto the back of his neck, sliding into the back of his hair. His breathing stuttered as he began to nuzzle his nose against hers. Both of them purring, as he felt the instinct to began to grind against another.   
  
Damn this felt good. Just the right amount of pressure in the right places. Bucky took a deep breath of her scent, it engulfed his senses as he leaned in. He could feel the heat of her skin as his lips inched towards her. Just a bit more. A little closer.   
  
"Bucky," Poppins slurring was more pronounced now "I need _you_ ,"  
She shifted her hips, pushing at his wrist for him to remove his hand from her body.  
Bracing himself in the nest Bucky could feel heat running through every vein and nerve ending as he positioned himself on top of his Omega. He began to rock his hips, trying to connect the two of them together.  
Slowly, he was beginning to inch in within her, but there was resistance. She was too tight, he was too thick. Bucky growled before he could place his thoughts and instincts in order to understand. Poppin purred below him as she braced his chest, pushing gently.  
"Rollover Alpha." She purred into his ear.   
  
He obliged immediately rolling onto his back, trying to catch his breath as Poppin flipped herself over to straddle him. Sitting up on his hips she positioned him underneath her. She sat back. Bucky gasped as she held onto him tightly. Too tight. Too much resistance. Oh. Not too much. Just enough. Poppins nails raked across his shoulders as she slowly rocked and rolled her hips against him, sinking down a little further each time.   
  
"Omega." Bucky blurted with a shaky voice, he didn’t know what he wanted to say, so he returned to concentrate on his breathing.  
"Alpha," Poppin purred as she leant forward to lick his mating gland. "My Alpha. My Love."  
Bucky chuckled as the weight of the world softened from his shoulders. Tingling. His nerves tingled all over as Poppin ground against him, taking him deeper within her. She gave a sigh in relief and stilled as she successfully took his entire length. The constriction eased with each breath as she relaxed around him.   
  
Bucky wasn't sure if his heart could handle the sight of his Omega, flushed in her cheeks, holding herself up above him. Completely connected with mind, body and soul. Her chest rising and falling as she panted. A cheeky grin spread across her features as his fingers ran up her neck and into the back of her hair.  
"My Love," Bucky murmured.   
  
Enclosing her in his arms, Bucky rolled the pair back over into the original position. Poppin, with her back against the sheets raised her arms in submission as Bucky repositioned himself, sinking into her to the hilt slowly. Both panted as they got used to the positioning, Poppin purred in satisfaction as Bucky began to roll his hips against her. Slowly. Methodically. He wanted to feel every damn nerve of theirs bodies rub together.  
  
Yes. This was perfect, his arms raised to hold each of her hands above her head. fingers intertwined the way he liked it best. Bucky enjoyed the feeling of Poppin rolling her hips below him. Her groans echoed in his ears as he buried his nose to her scent gland and took deep breaths with every thrust of his hips.   
  
With deep breaths, he allowed Poppins scent to envelope his foggy thoughts. Happiness. Joy. Calm. They were all hidden within the scent, waiting for him. Guiding him to access. Plums. The soft sweet scent. He could smell plums. In an orchard in summer. Bucky could feel the breeze around him and a deep warmth of sunlight on his cheek as he leant towards the tree for a closer inspection.  
  
Bucky gave the nearest plum a lick, and another, it tasted delicious, so soft to touch. His tongue flattened, lapping greedily as the scent of its freshness engulfed his senses. He needed to taste. Taking a bite of the plum he could feel its juices explode in his mouth and run down his chin. So fresh. So sweet. A little sticky. Bucky purred in elation. He bit again, deeper, needing to taste more and more, he lapped up the juices efficiently as they ran over his cheeks and chin, not wanting to spill a drop.   
  
Beneath him, Poppin was grounding against him. And tightening, and tightening, till she held him so securely he couldn't help but marvel at their perfect fit. They felt so good. So _right_. He continue to lap at the plum juice at her neck as it dribbled down towards her shoulder. Wait. What?   
  
"I am yours, you are my Alpha." She breathed beneath him.  
"I am yours, you are my Omega." He recited back, the fog that had taken over him receded slightly, just enough to note the plum juice had an iron like taste to it.

Far away in the orchard, in the distance, Bucky felt a burning on his neck over his own scent gland before the fog over took him again. There was a faint smell of spiced apples and cinnamon in the air. Poppin was purring beneath him as she lapped at his throat tasting his own juices. _I am the apple._   
  
Poppins body dilated around him tightly as she came, taken by surprise Bucky continued to roll his hips, making her cry out into the nest as he met her with his own release. His body felt light as he slumped down deeper into the blankets. His Omega holding him closely as she nuzzled into his gland.   
  
The cloud of the nest slowly lifted as their breathing matched. The rise and fall of their chests calmed and they both blinked the last of the fog away to take in the sight of the angry bites on their partners glands, knowing they had one of their own dripping red juices to match. Bucky nuzzled his nose against hers as realisation of what had happened set in.   
  
He had bonded with Poppin. He had accepted and created a bond with his Omega. His True Mate. His Love.   
  
Her arms held high tightly as he sobbed with pride as elation overwhelmed him. He felt her nose nuzzle his hairline as her finger tips scratched at his scalp, soothing him back down.  
Poppins chest shuddered below him as she chuckled.  
"Cheer up Alpha, It wasn’t that bad."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are all as surprised as you are x


	34. 17th January

Breathing deep Poppin scented the familiar notes of pine, with a separate undertone of spiced apples with cinnamon.   
  
Bucky Barnes filled your lungs, causing your heart to beat a little quicker whilst the comfortable ache between your thighs had you smiling into your pillow. A consequence of your Alphas doing. He had been as gentle as possible, but it was taking some practise for you to take an Alpha of his size.   
  
Previously, before bonding with Bucky, living on the compound had made meeting partners a little more complicated than casually dating in the city, and though celibacy didn’t bother you, the ache currently residing in your hip joints alone were a reminder to take Nat up on that mobility yoga class next time she invited you.   
  
A shuddered breath vibrated against the nape of your neck causing you to open your eyes. Your hands were face down in the blankets, intertwined with Bucky’s in front of you. You gave them a squeeze in time with a drawn-out flex of his hips as he settled his weight comfortably above you.   
You sighed happily. This was where you wanted to begin every day; wrapped in the arms of your Alpha.  
A contented hum vibrated over the base of your neck.   
"Omega." Bucky breathed gently from behind. He gave a deep breath as he kissed your spine, making you shiver happily. "Am I still yours?"  
"Always Alpha," You replied easily. You wiggled your hips against him. He chuckled and thrust his hips forward slightly in retaliation before removing himself from above you. Rolling you down into the nest where he kept himself between your parted legs.   
  
Closing your eyes, you smiled when Bucky nuzzled against your nose, laying kisses upon your cheek and jaw, before nibbling lightly at your scent gland, currently encased in an angry ring of his own indentations.   
  
"I'm sad to be leaving our nest today." Bucky admitted as he trailed kisses towards your chest, then further to your sternum where he held onto your ribs lightly before hooking an arm under your leg.  
"I suppose we should get back to our day jobs at some point." You murmured, acknowledging an odd pulling sensation on your inner thigh.   
  
Opening an eye, you found Bucky’s head back between your legs licking away the dried on arousal.  
"Are you grooming me?" You asked suspiciously, a smile forming on your lips. Appreciation spread through your chest as he cared for you.  
“My mother used to tell me all the best Alphas keep their Mates clean.” He responded with a smile of his own.  
“You could just use a flannel.” You pointed out, “This is the 21st Century.”  
“No.” Bucky gave your inner thigh a little nibble in response, making you chuckle.   
  
"What are you thinking about?" Bucky asked snaking his way back up your body to lay by your side. You admired his bare muscles.  
"I'm thinking about everything that lead us here, and the coincidence of it all." You answered truthfully with a little smile. You watched his jaw clench as his metal hand came to gently lay on top of yours, his thumb rubbing a light circle round and round.  
"You still think this could be a coincidence?" he asked, an eyebrow raised in curiosity.  
"I'm starting to believe it isn’t." You grinned as your fingers intertwined with his.   
"I told you Pops; you were waiting for me." He returned your smile as he melted down into the nest, laying down on his back.   
  
Pulling you over to lay stomach to stomach with him, he positioned your hips to straddle him whilst your nose nuzzled his own mated scent gland, breathing in your Alpha soothed your soul.  
A rampant knocking on the door of the apartment interrupted the moment.   
  
Bucky groaned, rolling the two of you to the right to check his phone for the time.  
"It’s 7am." He cursed. "That'll be..."  
"Buck, open up man, you okay?" Sam called from outside the apartment, he sounded worried.  
"I forgot I agreed to get straight back into training." Bucky groaned.  
"Go, I need to begin work downstairs." You agreed escaping the nest to collect clothes from your side of the wardrobe.  
You both began to throw on clothes as Sam slammed on the door again.   
  
"I’ll hold him off till you're dressed," Bucky grinned, throwing a hoodie over his head before ducking down to place a kiss on your forehead. He removed himself from the bedroom, making sure the curtain was closed securely behind him.   
  
Listening closely, you heard Bucky open his front door, Sam was immediately inside the room.  
"You okay Buck? You didn't answer my calls or texts."  
"Yeah I'm good, sorry I overslept." Bucky explained sounding sheepish "You still want to train?"   
Sam was uncharacteristically quiet for a moment.  
"You overslept?" He repeated  
"Yeah, I'm sorry I missed training," Bucky’s voice was further away now, you heard the sound of a water bottle being filled. "Shall we go to the gym?"  
"Why'd you sleep so well?" Sam asked suspiciously.   
  
Bucky faltered for an answer on the other side of the curtain. You sighed. Having finished putting your clothes on, there was little else to do but open the curtain with your jumper in hand. New bonded mark on full display.  
Sam's eyes practically popped out his head as his suspicions were confirmed.  
"I CALLED IT." He pointed between you. "You two... and you Pops? You got his gland?"  
"Sam, calm down." You answered, pulling on your jumper as Bucky pulled down his hoodie to show Sam your bite pattern.  
"I want to know everything." Sam buzzed excitedly.  
"No. You don’t." Bucky grumbled.  
Sam was tittering with joy.  
"Ah Buck, don’t be like that. I'm happy for you." Sam winked at you with a smirk on his face "Just be sure to name a pup after me yeah?"   
You snorted at Sam, pointedly kissing Bucky on the cheek before crossing the room to the front door.  
"Enjoy your training session gentlemen," You smiled at Bucky.  
"Oh we haven’t got time to train now, we're skipping to breakfast and all the dirty details." Sam grinned as he followed you both out the apartment with a loud cackle.  
  
  
  
"Hey guys, I need to have a-" Steve was placing folders down on the kitchen table as the three of you arrived.  
He turned, spotting half of the sore scabby ring around your mating gland and stopped dead in his tracks, unable to say anything, just staring.  
"What the fuck is that." Nat blurted as the three of you approached the kitchen table. "Tell me that’s what I think it is."  
"It’s what you think it is." You grinned as you pulled her in for a celebratory cuddle.  
"Congratulations Pops, knew you’d both get there in the end." Nat pulled down the neck of your jumper for a closer look before wrapping her arms around you.   
  
You turned back to see Steve and Bucky, both holding each other, sharing a quiet moment together with their eyes closed.   
  
"So, how do you feel?" Nat asked as you sat down next to her.  
You replied with the smile. "I didn't realise, bonding would feel like that."  
"Wouldn’t have taken so long if you knew," She smirked. "How about Bucky, has it soothed him?"  
You turned to Nat with a slight frown of suspicion on your features.  
"Yes, how did you know?" You asked. Nat chuckled.  
"Alphas are all the same. Steve was like a lost ship in the sea. You offer them an anchor and suddenly they know they have a secure port to return too."   
  
As Sam began to make a breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon and pancakes for the pack, Bruce arrived from his lab, coaxing the Alphas to re-join the room.  
"Buck, I need to talk to you." Steve repeated glumly.  
Bucky raised an eyebrow before he saw the folders sat on the kitchen table.  
"Another mission?" He guessed, cross the kitchen to sit down on your other side. He held your hand under the table.  
"Yes." Steve admitted. "I wouldn't ask, I don’t want to ask, but Clint has had heavy snow on his farm, he’s stuck. Can’t get here, and we need someone to extract us at short notice."   
  
"Is that a given?" Sam asked from the stove.   
You gave Bucky’s hand a squeeze.  
"Sam, let's swap, sit down and listen." You jumped up from your seat, taking over the sizzling breakfast.  
Steve looked serious as he gave folders to Sam, Bucky, Nat and Bruce.  
"Pretty much. Thanks to the information gained at the last Hydra cell, we have information on another that's been long forgotten. It's looking like this one could lead us to active ones as it was abandoned for political reasons, not because its software was negligible." Steve explained.   
  
"So, are we going in like before?" Sam asked reading his folder.  
"Yes Sam, you and I will be on the offensive with Nat, Nat will be getting access to the servers again. Bruce, I want you to stay on the jet until there is a reason for you to join us."  
Bruce, Sam and Nat were all nodding.  
"Buck, I feel uncomfortable asking you to come, but if we need Bruce to get the other guy involved then we have no one on the jet ready to extract." Steve sighed.  
"You just need the extraction?" Bucky asked as he removed his hoodie. You passed him a glass of water as his cheeks flushed. "No fighting?"  
"No fighting. We need you to stay on the jet with Bruce, bring him in if required but otherwise just extract us when we are ready." Steve held up his hands. "Honestly if Clint were available, I wouldn't be asking."   
  
Bucky turned to you, his expression that of anguish as he weighed up the options. You smiled encouragingly, hoping he would know you thought either option he picked, to stay or go, was the right option. He chewed his cheek as he turned back to the table.  
"If I don’t come, you guys can't really do this mission can you." Bucky concluded.  
"The longer we leave to act on this information, the less reliable it is." Steve confirmed. "But honestly Buck, after last time, if you can’t do it we will wait until Clint is available."  
"How’s the weather in... Ukraine?" Sam asked looking back in his folder.  
"Clear skies, perhaps a bit of rain." Steve smiled "I took the liberty of double checking this time."   
  
Bucky sat back in his seat, taking a deep breath as you set plates in front of him and Sam.  
"I'll do it." He smiled at Steve before looking back to you, you leant down to place a kiss on his temple before turning back to place plates in front of Nat and Bruce.  
"What time do we depart?" Nat asked.  
"1200 hours." Steve replied as you sat down next to him with both your plates. "Does that give everyone time to eat, check arms inventory and suit up?"  
  
  
  
As you cleared up the kitchen table, allowing everyone else to get ready for the mission, you considered with hindsight that Sam's portion sizes may have been on the enthusiastic side.  
Whilst great for the super soldiers with an excessive metabolism, an uncomfortable fullness had taken you over before Bucky had pulled your plate towards him, finishing off your portion after his.   
  
You set a cup of tea to brew after you finished preparation of 5 chicken and crispy bacon sub rolls wrapped in foil for the team to take with them on the flight. They would take nutritional rations with them for their trip, but you always felt a packed lunch for the journey made for a positive start to any mission. Giving the table a wipe down, you sat down on one of the kitchen stools.   
  
It was probably the extra core exercise you and Bucky were participating in this weekend causing tiredness in your bones. You mentally considered your to do list today, with everyone gone it conveniently meant no rush to get anything done. Perhaps you could take this afternoon off to rest. Have that bath. Read a book. Eat chocolate.   
  
Bucky was the first to arrive back down, crossing the kitchen to pick you up and steal you away to your office. He held you close, sitting down on your sofa with you in his lap. He pulled you against his chest, wrapping his arms around you tightly.  
"Steve says we will be gone 3 days, but hopefully less." Bucky mumbled into your hair.  
"Hopefully." You replied, holding him tight.  
"Do you think it was right option for me to go?" Bucky asked, pulling away to place a kiss on your cheek.  
"I think whatever you choose is the right option." You smiled lifting your head to nuzzle his jaw. "Your choices will always be right if it's you that’s chosen it."   
  
Underneath you Bucky tensed; he gave a hint of a whine as he bought his hand away from you to clutch his stomach.  
"Everything okay?" You asked removing yourself from his embrace, holding yourself up you placed your hands on his shoulders.  
"I'm fine, it’s just a stomach ache." He admitted, his eyebrows knitting together in a frown as he gave it a rub.  
"A stomach ache?" You repeated. "You don’t normally get stomach aches,"  
"I don’t normally eat 25 pancakes in a single sitting," he replied with a smirk.   
"I guess Pancakes are not ideal for stress eating." You agreed wrapping your arms back around him to nuzzle your nose into his gland. His arms enclosed you in as he rest his cheek on your hair.   
"I'll miss you." He murmured as he began to sway the two of you side to side slightly.   
  
You were both interrupted by a harsh knock on your office door by one of the downstairs security guards arriving with a large bag of post.  
"’Scuse me ma'am, can I put this in here?" He asked already striding into your office to lean it against the wall ready for you to sort into each residents’ personal postal shelves. Before you could answer he was back out the door leaving a comfortable silence between the two of you.   
"I’ll miss you too." You soothed, kissing his cheek as you sat back up, holding his hands in front of you. "Perhaps you should discuss your stomach ache with Banner. He could keep an eye on you."  
"I don’t think a stomach ache is enough to get the doctor involved." He smiled, still staring at your hands intertwined. "What’re you going to do whilst we are away?"  
You gave his hands a squeeze.  
"I'll probably have a bath, take some time to relax." You smiled "it's been a busy weekend,"  
Bucky grinned, skirting himself to the edge of the couch, he assisted you to stand.   
  
"You've reminded me, I ordered something for you," He crossed the room to the post bag, where he placed packages on the floor until he found what he was looking for. He held out a box for you.  
"What is this?" You asked, ripping the cardboard box open.  
"I got you, some bath bombs to try." Bucky admitted "but I'd like to try them with you."  
"So you got you some bath bombs?" You corrected, looking over the 6 packaged lumps.  
"No, they're for you," he smiled.  
"So you got me bath bombs for when you go away but you want me to wait till your back to use them." You clarified. Bucky’s smiled dropped a little.  
"Oh, yeah. I see what you mean," He frowned, whatever he was going to say interrupted by a throat clearing in your doorway.   
Sam was leaning against your open door frame with his arms crossed over his chest "Hey Pops, are these New York Deli Subs I see?" He grinned.  
"Not this time, but when you get back, I'll have the ingredients in." You replied, as you and Bucky joined everyone else in the kitchen.   
  
A crate of food supplies had been collected by Bruce and Sam, the list of which was handed to you to add to your food shop list.  
"Barnes, 8 minutes till extraction, meet you on the roof. See you in a few days Pops." Sam acknowledged you with a wink as he left, wheeling the crate into the elevator. Bucky rolled his eyes.   
"You ready to go?" You asked  
"As I'll ever be." He explained taking a step towards you for one more tight cuddle. "Stay safe Omega. Keep our nest warm."  
"Stay safe Alpha, I love you." You smiled as he wrenched himself away, half-heartedly he entered the elevator, and disappeared from view.   
  
Turning back to your cup of tea, overly stewed on the side, you threw the liquid down the sink before finding yourself a bottle of water instead.  
Returning to your office, you sat back down in your seat with a flop. Sighing you kicked off your slippers, looked at the food shop list you had yet to order and the bag of post you had to organise onto the resident’s shelves. With efficiency you could be back in your room with a book and your blankets in the hour.


	35. 19th January

When Bucky Barnes felt his stomach ache, he should have told Bruce. He didn’t.  
When Bucky Barnes felt nausea, he should have told Bruce. He didn’t.  
When Bucky Barnes felt a tingle in his extremities, he should have told Bruce. He didn’t.  
  
Leaning back against the pilots seat, Bucky closed his eyes and tried to breathe deep.  
In discomfort and confusion, he had managed to manoeuvre the quinjet down to the ground and extract the others from the HYDRA cell. He tried to relax as he listened to 4 set of boots run up the ramp to safety.  
"Buck, what's happening?" Steve was at his side, grasping his shoulder firmly.  
Bucky blinked up at his friend.  
  
Feeling a flush run up his throat into his cheeks, his chest felt tight as his suit began to squeeze him.  
"Are we all in?" Bucky asked.  
"Were in, are you okay?" Steve's brow was knitted together in concern.  
"Yeah. Fine. Let's get back to the safe house." Bucky grunted. Ignoring the way his thoughts were becoming cloudy, he began to ready the jet to ascend.  
"Hold on Buck. First I need to know what's going on?" Steve asked  
Bucky blinked again as Steve ducked down, sitting on his heels next to him.  
"Its obvious isn’t it?" Sam was grinning behind Steve.  
  
Bucky repressed the urge to growl at Sam's smug face.  
"What's going on?" Bucky snapped. "Spit it out Steve."  
"Buck, your scent..." Steve faltered.  
"What about my scent?" Bucky grunted.  
"Its changed," Steve stated simply.  
"Buck, you’ve fumigated the damn jet. Stinks in here." Sam smirked. "You got something to tell us?"  
  
Irritation was coursing through Bucky’s veins, warming up his skin, making it harder to breathe. He needed to get to the safe house, get this damn suit off and cool down.  
"No." He growled "I just want to get out of here."  
"You don’t look well Buck," Steve sighed. "Let me get Bruce."  
"No. Steve. Its just a stomach ache." Bucky grunted, trying to flick more buttons on the quin jet.  
"That ain't just a stomach ache." Sam chuckled.  
"Sam, not now." Steve scolded.  
"How’d you feel when I say the word _Poppin_ , Buck? Make you feel sick?" Sam cackled as a new wave of nausea overwhelmed Bucky, causing him to retch in the pilots chair of the jet.  
"Sam." Steve snapped. "Go get Bruce."  
"Oh I'll _pop_ over to Bruce." Sam grinned delighting in another dry heave from Bucky.  
  
"Buck, you're burning up." Steve acknowledged, placing his palm onto Bucky’s forehead as Bruce arrived, Steve's eyes suddenly went wide. "Wait, should you be near him? You're an unbonded Omega."  
"Don’t worry Cap, I take enough suppressants to tranquilise the other guy." Bruce smiled as he also knelt next to Bucky.  
"What are you feeling Bucky?" Bruce gently. "Everything out of the ordinary, I want to know."  
  
Bucky felt emotion bubbling up to burn his sinuses as he thought about how ill he felt and how he wished Poppin was here to help soothe him.  
"I don’t, feel right." Bucky admitted.  
"He said he’s got a stomach ache." Steve added.  
Bucky had flash backs to the day he saw Bruce after meeting Poppin. Sat there with Steve trying to explain a problem he couldn’t communicate.  
"Anything else?" Bruce asked checking his pulse from his wrist. "Any other pain? nausea?"  
Bucky nodded with pursed lips.  
"Where is the pain?" Bruce asked, holding the back of his hand to Bucky’s forehead.  
"My fingers and toes." Bucky grunted.  
"Like when you go from cold to hot too quick?" Steve offered. Bucky nodded.  
  
"Bucky, you're not still on those suppressants are you?" Bruce asked. Bucky blinked as he tried to mentally organise his medication.  
"Yeah, why?" He grunted.  
"I think they're working overtime and its causing a reaction." Bruce concluded.  
"A reaction?" Steve repeated.  
"They're curdling in your tubes man. Like spoiled milk." Sam offered. Bucky shot him a glare.  
"Why?" Bucky asked.  
"Buck, I hate to say this, right now, on a jet in Europe, but I think you're in a rut." Bruce stated gravely.

Bucky actually chuckled, causing Steve, Sam and Bruce to look even more concerned  
"I don’t rut." Bucky stated confidently with a grin.  
"Evidence is pointing to you being in the further stages of Rut Bucky. I'm actually surprised you managed to make it this far without a severe reaction."  
"Bucky Barnes _is_ a severe reaction." Sam giggled.  
"Wilson, I'll give you a severe reaction." Bucky growled.  
  
"When did the symptoms begin? Your nausea and stomach ache." Bruce interrupted.  
"The morning after Poppin." Bucky dry heaved. "And I bonded." He coughed out.  
"He cant even say his Omegas name. You rutting bad Buck." Sam grinned.  
"Sam. I don’t _rut_." Bucky snapped through clenched teeth.  
"I'm inclined to disagree." Sam muttered.  
"We need to get back to the compound." Steve decided. "Bucky, go lay down in the back, get some rest. I'll fly us home."  
"Steve, I'm fine." Bucky grit. “Let me get us to the safe house to rest.”  
"You mean get us to the safe house so you can lock yourself in the bathroom." Sam smirked.  
Bucky found himself growling loudly in Sam's direction.  
"I. Do. Not. RUT." He bellowed, taken by surprise, Steve, Sam and Bruce all took a step back.  
  
"Barnes." Nat snapped him out of his anger. How long had she been stood there?  
"Get out of the pilots seat and in to the back." She demanded curtly.  
"Nat, I'm fine to fly this jet to the safe house." Bucky snapped.  
"You may well be _fine_ , but we need to get back to the compound." She argued. "Whilst you're in denial, Poppin is _alone_ at home. What if she has begun a heat?"  
  
  
  
Sitting in the back of the jet, with his head in his hands. Bucky was left alone with this thoughts, his pain and an additional pressure in his chest as he worried about his Omega.  
Stupid. James "Stupid" Barnes. Back again.  
  
 _How_ could he have not considered Poppin in this mess. He dry heaved again. Of course if he was showing symptoms, it meant she might be. They had bonded. Set off a string of hormonal consequences and in the mess he had been so preoccupied, no, _ignorant_ to the niggling voice in the back of his mind, trying to get him to _remember_ what these feelings and aches meant. By playing the fool he may have jeopardised his Omegas health.  
  
"Bucky." Nat had sat down in front of him. She rested a comforting hand on his arm as tears dribbled down his hands and dripped onto the floor.  
"What if she’s hurt." Bucky sobbed. "I didn’t even think of her hurting. I was so preoccupied with me I didn’t..."  
"Don’t do this." Nat interrupted him. Her tone gentle.  
"I should have realised." He sobbed.  
"Bucky, you're showing Rut symptoms for the first time in 80 years, you can be forgiven for not realising what was happening."  
"What if Poppin is," Bucky paused to dry heave.  
"Stop. Whatever is happening at the compound will be happening anyway. If she is well, then great. She can look after you. If she’s in heat, then as her mate you can look after her." Nat soothed.  
Bucky nodded, unable to meet her eye.  
  
Another presence sat down next to him.  
"Buck, we will be back at the compound in an hour. Try to get some rest." Sam gave Bucky’s shoulder a squeeze. "She’s gonna be fine."  
"You don't know." Bucky half whispered.  
"I do know, because if she’s not fine, you'll make her fine." Sam replied. "You're her Mate. You're the best Alpha to take care of her."  
Bucky spared a bloodshot glance in Sam's direction.  
  
"Have you considered the consequences of this?" Sam asked gently.  
"Consequences?" Bucky repeated.  
"Sam." Nat warned.  
"Bucky, if you can rut, there is a chance you can knot." Sam began.  
"Sam, I'm not sure this is appropriate." Nat sighed.  
"Nat, If _he’s_ in a rut, and _she_ is in heat," Sam leant closer to Nat " _if_ he can knot. This means one thing."  
"Stop it Sam." Nat warned.  
"Pups." Bucky breathed.  
"No. Sam. Bucky, do _not_ get your hope's up." Nat hissed.  
"Why not?" Sam pushed.  
"Because there are far too many variables we do not know yet." Nat snapped back. "We only know that Bucky is in rut. Nothing else."  
"But if I am, I might be able to knot." Bucky mumbled. "Pops might be in heat. We might,"  
"Bucky, don’t." Nat warned.  
"Make a pup." He concluded sitting up straight. "We might make a pup."  
"That's the spirit." Sam grinned, nudging his arm as Steve announced their descent over the jets tannoy.  
  
  
  
Arriving at the Compound, Steve had barely touched down on the helipad before Bucky was running off the jet side by side with Nat, they threw themselves into the waiting elevator.  
"I'll check the nest, you check her office." He planned. "If she’s fine, in theory, you'll find her, if she’s not, in theory, I'll find her."  
"Good theory." Nat agreed as he ran out the door on Floor 16.  
  
The corridor of the residents apartments held no clues as to Poppins whereabouts other than the sweetest, most beautiful scent of plums Bucky had ever scented. Calling to him like a siren he followed his nose down the corridor.  
Bucky barged into their apartment, to find it in total darkness. A faint scent of Poppins usual peppermint, perhaps a little scent of plum, but nothing so strong as the corridor. Bucky threw some blankets around the nest to be sure, before running into the bathroom. Nothing. Where was she?  
  
"Bucky," Natasha piped up in his ear piece, "Downstairs is clear but there are 3 bags of post in Pops office. She’s never let it pile up like that before."  
"She’s not in our apartment." Bucky sighed, making his way to the corridor.  
"She’s not?" Nat repeated as Bucky’s head snapped towards her old apartment door. Striding down the corridor he breathed in hard. The stench of perfectly ripe plum got stronger with each pace until he arrived at her old door. He pummelled his fists against it.  
"Poppin? Are you there?" He shouted before redirecting into his ear piece. "She’s in her old apartment. Steve, I need a key."  
"On my way." Steve replied.  
  
Ducking down to the hatch at the base of all apartment doors, meant for access to supplies when in a cycle, Bucky tried to see into Poppins apartment. It was also pitch black but the waft of scent hitting his face let him know he was in the right direction.  
Sweet sweet plum, and arousal, but also fear, and despair, and upset. Steve couldn't get to him quick enough.  
  
Slipping into Poppins old apartment as quickly as he could, Steve snapped the door shut behind him.  
A visual sweep of the room gave no insight to where Poppin could be, if not for the sweet siren of his favourite fruit he wouldn’t expect her to be in here at all.  
Her kitchen and living area were show home clean and empty, just as she had left it to move in with him. Sweeping right her mattress had kept its upright place upon her bed, empty of sheets it also gave an air of emptiness in the room.  
Bucky grunted in approval. It felt petty, but if she wasn’t in heat in his nest he didn't want her to seek comfort on a bed she shared with another Alpha.  
  
Edging towards the wardrobe, Bucky silently slid the doors to the left to find mostly a wall of sheet, with a small circular hole pinned up at the bottom with hair grips, just large enough for his Omega to crawl through. Ducking down to pop his head through the hole of a nest. A nest?! When had she felt the urge to create this?! Inside was dark, he noted a dull collection of scents on the small pile of blankets and pillows, but it wasn’t fresh, and this padding was certainly not up to her nesting standards. She wasn't there under the unlit fairy lights.  
  
Bucky got back to his feet, inhaling hard, trying to pinpoint the stench of despair permeating within the room, _there isn’t anywhere else to hide_ he thought as he manoeuvred round the door to the bathroom. He looked back to the naked mattress as his hearing picked up the faintest whimper from low to the ground. He scrambled to the floor and peered under the bed to see the glint of watery eyes amid a mass wrapped in a duvet, barely making the distance between floorboards and bed slats.  
  
“Pops," He sighed softly in relief, shuffling on his stomach to join her. "We’ve been so worried about you."  
She whimpered quietly through her nose like a pup.  
He eased closer to her, fear and arousal singed his nostrils, his instincts were screaming at him to touch her skin, pull her out from under the bed so he could rub himself against her gland, holding her until she were calmed down.  
  
Gently, slowly, he raised his hand to rest on her duvet, placing a grounding pressure on her back.  
"You're here." She blinked causing tears to fall on the floor, another irrepressible whimper rang through Bucky’s chest.  
"I'm here. Come with me Pops, back to the nest." He soothed. Poppin closed her eyes, but didn’t move.  
"Everything hurts," She whimpered.  
"I can help," he replied gently. "We just got to get you out of here."  
"No." She choked.  
"No?" Bucky repeated.  
"I'm safe here." She mumbled, hiding her face from him.  
  
"In this apartment?" Bucky asked "Don’t you want to go to our nest?"  
"Nest?" Poppin repeated, turning back to him.  
"Our nest Pops." Bucky soothed. Poppin blinked back.  
"I don’t make nests. I stay here." She mumbled.  
"Pops, you cant stay under here, you're in heat, we need to release it." Bucky edged closer.  
"No." Poppins eyes had screwed shut.  
"It's going to be okay," Bucky reasoned  
"No, Its not." She began to sob.  
"I'm here to look after you," Bucky continued, he began to rub circles upon her back.  
"No." She repeated.  
  
"You'll be okay Pops, we are going to figure this out together." He soothed.  
"I can’t heat," Poppin announced.  
Bucky paused his circle of her back  
"Pops, all this pain is a heat left to run out of control, we can soothe it." He explained softly "You and me. Together."  
"I can’t heat," She repeated. "I don't heat."  
Bucky watched her spasm in pain and he began his circles on her back again  
  
"I don’t have cycles. All these years, I cant. I don’t have..." She paused to sob "It can’t be heat."  
Bucky shuffled as close as he could whilst another whine left her lips, Bucky held back from rubbing his nose against her cheek.  
"Pops, you can... you have."  
"No." She argued "I can’t."  
Another spasm wracked her body as she let out a cry. Bucky took the plunge and rubbed his nose against hers delicately.  
“Oh Poppin.."  
"I don’t have enough scent, they said." She sobbed, Bucky settled a kiss on her wet cheek.  
"Who said?" He asked  
"My parents. Doctors. They had me checked when I couldn't attract a mate. I can’t bond."  
  
"Pops, you have bonded, you're bonded with me." Bucky tried to ignore the ice cold fear in his chest. This wasn’t his Poppin.  
"I don’t know." Poppin mumbled into the floor. "I don’t, I cant remember."  
"Poppin, do you know who I am?" Bucky asked, holding his breath. Poppin turned to look towards him, She nodded, her eyes drooping again.  
"You're my Bucky," She murmured.  
"I'm your Alpha, Pops, you're my Omega." Bucky faltered.  
  
The hatch at the bottom of the apartment front door slid open, causing Bucky to turn under the bed to try to see what was happening. He could just about make out Steve and Bruce, who must both be kneeling on the floor to have a look inside.  
"Buck, you got her?" Steve called into the room.  
"I got her," He called back.  
"How is she?" Bruce asked.  
Bucky turned back to his Omega.  
"Am I your Omega?" Poppin whispered as her eyes closed.  
  
"Bruce, she’s delirious." Bucky called back to the door. "She doesn’t believe she’s in heat."  
"Buck, she’s gonna be in denial after all these years, a bit of shock and a lot of pain. Does she know who you are?" Bruce replied calmly.  
"Yeah, but she doesn’t know we have bonded." Bucky’s panic was beginning to bubble up to the surface again. "She keeps closing her eyes, I’m worried. She’s burning up."  
"Buck, you've got to get some skin on skin with her to soothe her," Bruce called. "You've got to be quick, it’ll ease her pain and bring down her temperature."  
Bucky turned back to his Omega.  
  
"Once she’s coherent you can both deal with her heat. How’re you're own symptoms?" Bruce asked.  
"I'm fine, I just, she’s not my Poppin right now." Bucky answered.  
"Bucky, your symptoms will have lessened with Poppins turmoil, it's a classic Alpha instinct when his Omega needs to be cared for, but once she’s coherent and able to establish her heat demands, your symptoms will come back full force okay? It’ll be rough, just, keep an eye out for any changes." Bruce advised. "Nat and I will get you some blankets from your nest, slide them through the door with some supplies."  
"Can I bring her back to our nest?" Bucky asked.  
"I don’t think you'll have time Buck," Bruce replied "This isn’t going to be an easy cycle, both of you are far overdue. Make do with her closet, it's a neutral space."  
Bucky grunted in stubborn frustration.  
“Bruce, clear the corridors. I’m not spending our first cycle in an old closet. I’m bringing her home.” He demanded, turning back to his Omega.  
  
Kissing her lightly on the cheek, Poppin opened unfocused eyes.  
"Everything has changed My Love," He said softly cupping her cheek. “Your scent smells of peppermint, and rosemary on my mothers roasted lamb, of freshly picked plums in summer and I cant wait to find out what else."  
Poppin frowned in confusion as she flinched away another spasm of pain. Bucky continued.  
"I can scent you the moment you enter a room. I can scent when you're happy, and when you’re sad, and I can scent you’re scared and in shock right now."  
She blinked a few times at him  
"You can pick up my scent?" She asked gently, Bucky pulled away to look at her tear stained face, he peppered little kisses on her forehead and nuzzled noses again.  
"Pops, I am addicted to your scent." He replied with a little smile "Omega, My Love, let me look after you."


	36. 20th January

Poppin awoke slowly.  
  
Keeping your eyes closed, your head swam. You swallowed, trying to assess what felt wrong. Everything admittedly. Your head felt full of cotton wool, as if you were floating somewhere underwater without proper use of your ears. Your stomach was rolling around in knots, as if you had been thrown from height. And the rest of your muscles were too heavy to lift whilst aching down to the bone.  
  
Breathing deep, you scent pine. You sighed happily realising Bucky was near.  
  
Grounding down, you noticed your cheek was laid upon something firm and warm. Your body was secured in place, your right side felt warm whilst the left side felt a little chilly. Bucky, his arms were around you. The scent so strong, you opened your eyes to check, yes, you were laying against his chest, your cheek on his shoulder as your nose nuzzled his scent gland.  
  
Bucky’s breathing was low and calm, was he sleeping? Beyond him, you could see the edge of your bath, and beyond your bathroom tiles. You shifted, noticing a lapping sound of the warm water surrounding the two of you as your movements roused your partner from sleep.  
  
"Omega?" Bucky breathed in relief, he held you closer, tighter, resting his cheek against your forehead. His voice sounded tense and cloudy from sleep. "Are you okay?"  
You blinked slowly, trying to remember how you got here.  
"I think so," You noticed how dehydrated your throat felt. "Why are we in the bath?"  
"Pops, I need you to listen to me, but you won’t like what I have to say." You could hear the regret in Bucky’s voice.  
"What’s happened?" You asked. Bucky swallowed hard before he answered.  
"You are in heat." Bucky explained simply.  
  
Overwhelming Upset and outrage fill your chest at his words. The kind of confusion that made you want to scream before you’ve really listened. No. You don’t heat. It isn’t possible. After all these years of disappointment and doctors’ appointments. You would know. This wasn’t funny. You don’t joke about these things. You trusted him to never joke about this. But he’s being very serious. Solemn even. How did he get you into the bath? _When_ did he get you into the bath? You couldn’t remember the moment Bucky came home from the mission. Your muscles began to hurt as you tried and failed, not to cry, feeling overwhelmed by everything.  
  
You tried to sit up by pressing down on his chest, but Bucky held you firm.  
"No." You grunt, your patience snapped like an elastic band "Let me go Bucky!"  
"I can’t, Poppin, let me explain." Bucky held you tightly against his chest as you pushed as hard as you could.  
"No. _Alpha. Let go of me_." You command furiously as the tears begin.  
This didn’t make any sense.  
"Omega," Bucky cupped your cheeks as he sat up, allowing you to pull away to hold yourself up. Every muscle aching made you instantly regret this decision to move.  
  
Another surprise, Bucky also had tears in his eyes.  
"I need, I need you to listen to me," He stammered.  
"I don’t heat. I don’t understand why you would say that." You sobbed despite yourself.  
"Pops, I've began a rut." Bucky blurts out, his eyes wide with his own terror. "It’s my first rut since I was... since before the war. I've not felt right since we bonded, I've got nausea whenever I'm apart from you, my nerves are shot to hell and _everything's_ sensitive. I, I'm scared. And I've put you into heat. I'm so sorry, I didn’t realise until we were on mission. I know you don’t believe me, but you have all the symptoms."  
"Symptoms?" You repeated meekly.  
"Your temperature keeps fluctuating; you keep getting overwhelmed with cramps and your scent is... your scent has never been stronger or sweeter."  
  
Frowning at his words you felt like they were hitting your ears but falling straight out again instead of being absorbed.  
"I don’t heat Bucky," You mumble, no fight left already when you're this exhausted.  
"I know Pops, but that was before we bonded." He stroked your hair back from your face as tears drizzled down his cheeks. "We got back from the mission, you were in your old apartment, under the bed." Bucky sobbed along with you. "I was so scared. You were in shock, Bruce took one look and wanted you down to medical. You couldn’t remember we had bonded. You couldn’t remember the nest. You were crying. I brought us back here to see this out together."  
  
You knew you were shaking your head, but you were still struggling to understand why. Slowly Bucky’s words settled in. Rejection was shifting towards realisation. You remembered sitting in your office, taking off layers of clothes as your bones began to ache. Did you take blankets into your old apartment? Oh. You remembered crawling under your old bed frame for safety in the smallest space you could find. You remembered being in pain and being scared.  
  
"I don't want to go to medical." You admitted.  
"I didn’t think you would Pops," Bucky replied, a small knowing smile softening his features. You took a deep breath before melting back into Bucky’s hold.  
"Bucky, I don’t feel well," You mumbled, feeling ridiculous as Bucky curled his arms back around you to hold you securely.  
"I know Pops. This is rough." He admitted "I've got you though, I'm gonna help you through this, we can figure this out together."  
"Together." You repeated quietly.  
  
Heat. Really? Now? After all this time. All those years of wanting to heat more than _anything else_ in the world and here you were. Completely taken by surprise. Yourself in heat and Bucky in rut. Now. Together. You literally couldn’t make it up because it was so perfect. You should have considered a new bond could have managed this. It had seemed impossible but now? You sighed. It made sense that if it were ever supposed to happen it would be now. Why hadn’t you been paying attention to the signs? What had been the signs? Did you even know them anymore?  
  
For a while you focused on the rise and fall of Bucky’s chest, almost meditative in his consistency.  
"Bucky, I don’t remember how to heat." You cried against his shoulder. "It's been so long... I'm scared. "  
Bucky leant his cheek against you gently.  
"I'm scared too." He mumbled. "But we will know what to do when it's time to do it."  
"You think?" You asked, nuzzling in closer to him.  
"I know." You could hear a smile in his voice "At least, that's what the others told me when I said the same thing."  
  
The vibration within Bucky’s chest, together with his strong arms were causing a reaction from you. You shifted your hips against him, becoming aware he was fully erect underneath you.  
Bucky gave a low purr from deep in his throat.  
"How are you feeling Omega?" He asked.  
"I'm feeling, things." You admitted as butterflies ran amok in your stomach. You shifted your hips again, hoping for friction against him.  
"Are you ready to move to the nest?" He asked, his voice dropped a few octaves. His chest vibrated against yours causing your hips to grind forward.  
  
Feeling your mind fog, you held Bucky closer, lapping your tongue against his scent gland as the aches and pains in your muscles gained traction again.  
"Yes Alpha." You replied thickly.  
Bucky sat up effortlessly, straightening out his legs so you were able to sit up and carefully remove yourself from the bath. He shot out after you, grabbing a towel before your brain had a chance to realise your next need, and held it tightly around you as he curled himself to be an extra layer of protection from the cold.  
  
"How long have we been in the bath?" You asked noticing how wrinkled your finger pads had become.  
"A few hours," Bucky held you closer to kiss your temple "Bruce told me, to stay in the bath for as long as possible."  
"Why?" You asked.  
"He said once we get out the bath, it’ll be too difficult to get back in." Bucky smiled as he caught his own towel and dried off, securing it around his hips before sitting down on the closed toilet and holding out his hand to guide you back to cuddle up with him.  
  
Stroking your hair, Bucky pulled you close, a hand on the back of your head guiding you down onto his scent gland as he tended to drying you off with you towel.  
Distantly, you were aware that you were warm enough to not need the towel, that your skin was feeling clammy and his fluffy towel was unable to do anything to dry you off.  
"Omega, I'm going to get you settled into the nest, then I will get us something to eat, then we will try to get some sleep." Bucky commanded, his tone left no room for discussion.  
"Yes Alpha," You replied quietly, a contented smile on your face as you looked up to Bucky.  
  
Pride filled your chest as you softly rest your lips upon his cheek. The skin-on-skin contact soothed you. Your Alpha was not only embracing this turn of events far more smoothly than you felt you were, but he was stepping up into the role of protector and provider of you effortlessly. His taking such good care of you was soothing your anxiety about what was yet to come. What _was_ yet it come? Would you truly know what to do? To satisfy his needs. Would instincts be enough?  
"My Love, I can scent your stress." Bucky leaned back to smile before landing a little kiss upon the end of your nose.  
"I’m sorry, I'm nervous," You admitted quietly. Bucky gave you a squeeze before he guided you to your feet.  
  
"Hold me, Pops," he smiled, guiding your arms around his neck as he lifted you effortlessly to wrap around him. "Nuzzle in Omega, let's relax you before breakfast,"  
Resting your head against his shoulder as he led you into the bedroom, the sky was beginning to lighten in the distance. Bucky slowly swayed the two of you closer to the window, turning so you had a view of the trees.  
  
"Pops, are you feeling well enough to get our nest ready for our cycle." Bucky asked.  
"Yes, Love." You hummed against his gland causing him to fidget underneath you.  
"Is there anything I can get for you?" He asked.  
"I'd like some underwear," You replied, smiling against his gland.  
"You’re not going to mind me ripping them back off?" He replied with chuckle as he walked you both back towards the entrance of the nest.  
"Never Love," You giggled as he ducked down, placing you into your nest and smothering your cheeks with kisses before he pulled away with a smile.  
  
An organise of the nest included adding layers of blankets to strip off after soiling, introducing water bottles and energy snacks stocked to the side and a small bowl of clean flannels soaking in water, ready for your disposal. Neither of you would need to leave unless you wished too.  
A bowl of oatmeal with flaxseed, raisins and honey made its way towards you before Bucky turned on the fairly lights and closed the main blinds of the room.  
  
He re-entered the nest looking more worn than when you woke up together, which wasn’t really surprising given you had no idea how long you had both been awake. Placing you down on your side, Bucky arranged himself behind you. Left arm above your head, right arm around your waist, holding onto your stomach, right leg entangled over yours.  
You sighed happily, cramps and high temperature forgotten for the moment. Your eyes were heavy enough to close and keep closed.  
"Alpha, there isn’t anyone else I would want with me during this cycle." You intertwined your fingers with his own.

Against the nape of your neck, you felt Bucky smile as his breathing became slow and deep.  
"It’s a privilege to be sharing this cycle with you Omega. Here's to our first, hopefully not our last."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sense a double upload weekend approaching x


	37. 21st January

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, had to repost as i think these very important chapters got muddled :)

### 21st January

### Chapter Text

Bucky ground his hips. Biting down on his bottom lip, he tried not to howl as he focused on his Omegas freshly bitten scent gland.

Poppin was preening underneath him. Tightening around him. Bucky caught her thigh with the crook of his elbow, lifting her leg higher without faltering his pace. Trying to get deeper. Trying to make it catch. He needed this. He needed this to work. He needed his knot to catch his Omega. He growled into her ear, feeling her flutter around him.

The sound Poppin made in return, would have made him cum immediately on any given day, fortunately on this instance he was already thrust so deep within his Omega, he was confident it would take days for his juices to fall back out from between her legs.  
Panting, Bucky waited for his vision to refocus before ducking down to suck on Poppins gland. He relished the metallic taste of his own doing before acknowledging the pulsing of his member, still buried in his Omega. Nearly. Not quite. So close.

Poppin was breathing deep, the rise and fall of their chests at odds with each other as they both floated down from their orgasms.  
"Alpha." Poppin gasped.  
"My Omega," Bucky purred. "Are you still with me?"  
"Just." She giggled. "That was, my favourite, my favourite cycle yet."  
Bucky chuckled as she settled her breathing.

Shifting slightly, he lifted his hips to remove himself from her, but her thigh was still draped over his hip. She held him down.  
"No." She commanded. "Alpha, I want you to stay inside me."  
Nose to nose, Bucky nodded, settling back down between her thighs, keeping his seed plugged inside her. He purred, nuzzling his nose against hers, across her cheek and down to her gland where he laid kisses upon the broken skin.

Grasping Poppins hips, Bucky rolled the two of them over to land with him on his back, her laid against this chest. Their connection kept successfully intact he raised a knee, keeping her hooked against him as they both shifted into comfortable positions.

Bucky hid the frown spreading across his face from Poppin, he didn’t want her to see his disappointment. He had as of yet, been unable to knot her. Not guaranteed in anyway shape or form, if anything in all honesty he had been completely dumbfounded when he felt a small inflation, but after Sam had brought it up on the jet, Bucky’s heart had inflated with hope at the possibility of knotting his Omega as he should. The most intimate, unbreakable connection. He wanted it. He wanted her to want it. To feel it. He wanted his knot to consummate their bond as it should.

As of yet, Poppin hadn’t made any acknowledgement towards her feeling his cock inflating inside her, not that it would have changed anything. She had taken his already sizeable girth without question nor complaint throughout each cycle. Each time they would burn each other out, only for the urgency to mate to build between them once more, unable to be ignored.

Bucky neutralised his facial expressions as Poppin raised herself to pepper kisses upon his scent gland.  
"My Love," She purred, raising higher to gaze at him.  
Bucky couldn't help the proud smile upon his face as he took in her blushed features. Deepened cheeks, swollen lips grazed by his beard stubble. Glossy eyes as her heat kept control of her instincts. She was his, and he was hers. Bonded as life partners he would never allow anyone to take her from him.  
"Are you okay?" She asked, suspicion hardened her features as she concentrated on his own. He knew she could smell his sincerity a mile away, but still he smiled back.  
"I'm okay. Tired Love." He lied, cupping her cheek affectionately.  
"Don’t lie to me." Poppin raised an eyebrow.

Guilt dowsed his chest as she raised her body off him. Bucky’s cock flopped back down on to his thigh, glistening in the morning light. He watched Poppin reach over to the side of the nest to grab a wet flannel from a bowl. She cleaned away the cum covering his member before attempting to wipe away the mess dribbling down her thighs. She stood, leaving the nest to dispose of the flannel and returned shortly, dressed in a fresh pair of underwear with a bowl of sliced apple for the two to snack on.

Laying down next to him, Poppin draped a thigh over his hips as she snuggled up against him. She rest the bowl on his belly as she laid her head upon his shoulder. Offering him a slice of apple, Bucky took it straight from her hand with his teeth. Taking the time to get his words in a row as he chewed. Poppin was patient, as she always was. Feeding them apple until he was ready to talk.

"I'm disappointed." Bucky admitted, feeling a bubbling inside his chest.  
"And frustrated." Poppin added. "I can scent it."  
"And frustrated." He repeated.  
"Is it me?" Poppin asked, looking up at him from his shoulder.  
"No!" He exclaimed in outrage. "No Pops, it's never you."  
Poppin took a deep breath before offering him another slice of apple. She waited patiently for him to elaborate.

"I haven’t knot you." Bucky admitted, the back of his eyes aching as he acknowledged it out loud. It hurt his heart to hear the words, as if it made it truer.  
Poppin sighed.  
"It was never a given that you would." She replied gently.  
"It should be. I should be able to do it." Bucky flinched, hating how blunt his tone was.  
"No Bucky. You shouldn't." Poppin replied firmly. "You and I, we are exceptions. Not the rule."

"Exceptions?" He asked, refusing to look at his Omega as tears began for dribble down the sides of his temples.  
Poppin held him tighter as her nose nuzzled his jaw.  
"Bucky, we are in the middle of your first rut in 80 years, and my first heat in over 10 years, a month after the winter solstice. It’s not normal. The exception to the seasonal rule."  
"I want to be the rule. I want what everyone else gets for once." Bucky heard himself admit.

Poppin rose from his side, she held a sad smile as she wiped his tears into his hairline before smothering his cheeks with kisses  
"Let me hold you, Alpha." She kissed his forehead before rolling off him, onto her back where her arms invited him to nuzzle against her fresh scent gland.  
Bucky obliged, wrapping a leg and his arms around her as she stroked his hair away from his face. He purred quietly at the comfort she was always able to assure him.

"Bucky, you are no less an Alpha for not knotting," She soothed.  
"I just, hoped." He admitted, screwing his eyes shut. "If I could knot, perhaps I could give you a pup."  
Silence.  
Bucky could feel Poppin breathing stutter underneath him.  
"Bucky, It doesn’t work like that." She sniffed.  
"Why not? It should. I should be able to give you what you want." Bucky argued, anger appeared from nowhere, causing him to sit up.  
It was Poppins turn to get emotional. Her eyes already glossy, had become bloodshot. She sighed, sitting up next to him.

"Is this about what I said on the roof about giving you a pack?" She asked quietly.  
"No. Well... kind of. I didn’t think it was possible but on the jet home, Sam bought up again." Bucky admitted. He didn’t enjoy watching her wipe her own tears from her cheeks as they flushed with emotion.  
"What did Sam bring up?" Poppin asked sharply. Bucky swallowed nervously. He didn’t enjoy upsetting Poppin, especially when she became those angry so quickly. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings but something in his brain just wasn’t working. Knot head was the slang term, he was acting an Alpha in rut with no consideration for his Omega. The thought made him more frustrated with himself.  
"He said if you're in heat and I'm in rut, then all it takes is for me to knot for us to make a pup. Pops, it makes sense!" He exclaimed hoping she would understand.

Instead, her face fell. This really wasn’t the direction he wanted this to go.  
"Bucky, it doesn’t make sense. You're forgetting I didn’t have a scent 3 months ago; I haven’t had a fertile season in over a century. That’s got to have done damage. Even if you did knot, I don’t believe for a minute we could conceive."  
"I do. I want to give you a pup. I should be able too." Bucky grumbled stubbornly "I should rut, then knot, then you should grow us a pup, and we will live happy ever after."  
"We are happy ever after, aren’t we?" Poppin asked quietly.  
"Not yet." Bucky felt regret from the moment the words left his lips. He bit them shut to stop himself for saying any more.

He was aware he was being ridiculous now. Argumentative with his favourite person. But it was like his emotions were out of control, they had a mind of their own and then had overtaken his mouth.  
Poppin glared at him for a moment, he watched her nostrils flare as she took deep breaths.

It was very warm in the nest again; Bucky could feel himself beginning to perspire. He could feel his blood pumping in his ears, down to his cock. Oh. It was another cycle rising. He noticed Poppins skin was a holding a slight sheen of sweat, her face and neck flushed, perhaps not completely due to anger. Then again, he didn’t enjoy the way she was staring.  
He didn’t enjoy upsetting her. Not about this. It was like word vomit; he couldn’t help himself.

Poppin raised up to knees, her skin glistening with the most delectable scent as it began to run down her thighs. Could he touch her? No. Not now. Submit to his Omega first. Keep her happy. Stop staring. She’s furious. The last time she was this furious she stormed down the hall and slammed the door in his face. She wouldn’t do that, would she? No. They were bonded now. She loved him. Would she leave him? No. Not mid cycle. That would be excruciating for both of them. She didn’t look like she would care right now though. She’s frowning. Would she storm down the hall? She’s upset enough too. She wouldn’t dare return to that damn mattress, would she? No. She can’t. I need her to stay.

"I know this is your rut talking," She was stiff in her pronunciation. "So, listen to me good Alpha. You can want or hope for a pup as much as you like, but knot or no knot, it can’t happen because I can’t make them. I will discuss other options of building a family when we are done with our season but not before. Am I clear?"  
Poppin glared him down, unblinking.  
Bucky swallowed as butterflies jingled in his stomach, his cock twitched with excitement as she stared him down defiantly.  
"Yes Omega." He conceded to her, bowing his head.

Bucky chewed his cheek as he pulled Poppin back into his chest, he was more than relieved when she melted into his arms.  
He positioned them back into a proper nesting position. Her laid on his chest with access to his gland, her hips straddling him, caught into place by a raised leg of his own. Bucky wrapped his arms around her as he dragged a blanket from the edge of the nest to lay over them despite the sweating.  
"I don’t mean to upset you." Bucky mumbled against her hair.  
Poppin sighed, giving his waist a squeeze.

"We bonded because we couldn’t have seasons, and now we have, I don’t know what that means for us." She admitted quietly.  
"Poppin, we didn’t bond just because we both didn’t season." Bucky gave her a squeeze as he rolled them onto one side. "We bonded because you're the most beautiful Omega I'd ever seen,"  
Poppin snorted, a small smile appearing.  
"You were waiting for me Pops." Bucky grinned as he nuzzled her nose. "When Sam gets excited about us, I get excited. Sam is the reason I did all the right things to get you. If he thinks we can make pups, I feel like the right thing to do is believe him. Look at us! Were in a season!"

Poppin smiled sadly.  
"They say when Omegas are in heat, they know the moment they're pregnant. It's like a hind brain instinct." She laid a hand gently on his chest as her eyes became teary again. "We're days from the end of the season and I don’t feel it. I'm sorry Bucky, if I'd asked you about Pups properly before we bonded, I could have told you not to bond with me."  
"Pops, no." Bucky held her closer as she began to sob against his chest. "It’s you or no one. I want pups with you, and only you. If it's not possible than I'll accept it. Hell, with my history..."  
He tapered off that train of thought.  
"Maybe we could just get a lot of pets. Cats and Dogs." He suggested "for when we have our farm in the countryside."  
"Farm?" Poppin repeated  
Bucky hummed contentedly.  
"We could have chickens for eggs. Would you like chickens?"

"I don’t know how to look after chickens." She admitted.  
"Oh we can learn. I learnt to look after goats in Wakanda. Would you like a goat?" Bucky asked.  
Poppin looking up at him, her brow furrowed with confusion.  
"I've never really considered it before."  
"Let's stick to chickens first." Bucky purred in contentment against her hairline. "The cats can keep them in order."  
"And the dogs can keep the cats in order." Poppin supplied.

Bucky grinned into her hair.  
"That's the spirit."


	38. 23rd January

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sitting here wondering if 3 chapters in a weekend is too much, and then I thought, no such thing as too much!  
> You all know how I feel about writing smut, so I hope you enjoy x

Poppins heat broke the next night.   
  
You woke up in the night with a chill, shivering slightly at the loss of comfortable warmth that had settled within your bones for the past week.  
Opening your eyes, you noted you were in the same position you had fell asleep in. Bucky was still holding you securely propped up on a pile of pillows as his chest rose and fell slowly. You recognised with a jolt in your belly that Bucky’s long gone soft cock was still inside you from the last cycle.   
  
Bucky was a fan of the nesting position after mating. It was a traditional position for a mating couple where both had comfort and support of staying skin to skin placing your chest to chest and nose in gland, whilst traditionally the Alpha would stay inside the Omega to increase fertility attempts.   
  
You would miss this. The closeness. The intimacy. The quality time spent together.   
  
It had been beneficial for the two of you, with heightened emotions to let things slip you had previously been feeling. You had been able to direct Bucky in how to pleasure you best in the heat of the moment, without embarrassment. Bucky’s admission at his insecurity of being unable to knot, leading to an admission of a want for pups had been a surprise you hadn’t expected. It had hurt to command him down as the conversation had begun to escalate, but you panicked. This was a subject better suited for a calm discussion when emotions were neutral again.   
  
No, knotting would not end up with Pups for the two of you, but that was your side of things, not necessarily his. He deserved to be confident in his abilities as an Alpha. Falling asleep last night, you had begun to consider options. Adoption being the most obvious. Perhaps if Bucky were fertile, he could sire a pup whilst you carried a doners egg? You would like to be involved if you could.   
  
What Bucky didn’t realise, was that the issue wasn’t that he couldn’t knot, you had felt the tug when he inflated. It was that he wasn’t able to lock in utilising a ridge of cartilage all Omegas possessed that made it impossible for his knot to pull out whilst inflated. Locking in was something a lot of young Alphas struggled with when they were inexperienced or overthinking. Bucky was definitely over thinking, even after your discussion about pups you had been able to recognise his stress about knotting during the last 2 cycles.   
  
With a heat broken, this signalled the end. What most Alphas weren't taught was this meant there would be a build-up of excess pheromones for one more cycle, not as powerful as the others, but powerful enough compared to day-to-day mating. If there was a time to catch Bucky off guard and help him realise, he could lock in without the anxiety beforehand, it was now.   
  
"Omega," a gravelly voice interrupted your thoughts as Bucky woke. He ran a hand over your back, realising you were cold and promptly pulled a blanket over the two of you.  
You nuzzled into his gland, giving it a little lick as you wiggled your hips.  
"Alpha." You murmured against his skin, feeling him shiver underneath you.   
  
You shifted off him, allowing an already half hard erection to spring free. You rolled your hips against him, smearing your arousal over his appendage as he woke up.  
"Omega, hasn’t your heat broken?" He asked, rubbing his eyes.  
"It has, but I think I have one cycle left in me." You purred in his ear.  
Bucky purred loudly in response, as he opened his eyes properly.   
  
Bringing you close in against him he rolled you down onto your side, hooking a leg over his hip as a hand softly squeezed your thigh, up to your hip and back down. He landed a kiss on the tip of your nose.  
"One more?" He asked, laying a gentle kiss upon your lips. You instantly melted.  
"One more Alpha." You repeated. "Do you think we can make it count?"  
"Do we think I can make you cum?" Bucky teased "I think I can."   
  
"Bucky Barnes!" You exclaimed in mock outrage. His hand worked its way up from your thigh, back to your hip. Squeezing its way up to your waist, before fluttering behind you to your back. He pulled you closer, his tongue danced against yours and he deepened his kiss. Goosebumps erupted over your skin as his hand returned to cup a breast, his thumb dragged over your nipple causing it to pucker in excitement.  
"My beautiful Omega," He mumbled as he rolled your other nipple with his thumb and forefinger. "I love how you react to me."   
  
Pride filled your chest as you gazed at the man you loved.  
"My handsome Alpha.” You could feel your eyes gloss over with left over heat pheromones. You breathed in Bucky’s scent, allowing it to overwhelm your senses. Dragging his hand down your skin, back to between your spread legs, you gently guided a finger to tickle your exposed clit. "I love how you touch me."   
Bucky smirked when you spasmed a little at his touch. He increased the pressure, rolling his finger against your nub, he drank in every micro reaction as it crossed your features, watching with fascination.   
  
It was your turn, to dance your fingertips down from the nape of his neck, over his shoulders and down his chest before his abs. You jut your hips unapologetically before grasping his cock in your palm. You gave him a subtle twist as you lay your lips upon his. As your tongues battled you began to pump in a steady rhythm, making his own hips buck.   
  
"Fuck, Pops," Bucky grunted, breaking away from your face to roll you onto your back. His knee nestled between your legs allowed him access to slip a finger between your folds before you had realised what was to come. Feeling your walls clamp down on his digit gave you a cocky satisfaction as he groaned loudly in your ear.   
You resumed your massage of his member as he slipped a second finger inside you, you felt the stretch as he scissored inside, making space for the rest of him.   
  
Relinquishing control of the situation, you raised both arms above your head in submission, causing Bucky to grin as he kissed you again. Biting down on your bottom lip he gave it a tug and a growl before he removed his fingers. Raising them up, you watched with open mouthed wonder as he sucked the digits clean, his pupils blown black so wide you could barely see a rim of familiar blue.   
  
"I want you Alpha," You managed to stutter out, spreading your knees as wide as they would go.  
"How do you want me Omega?" Bucky asked quietly.  
"I want to present." You answered with a devilish grin. Bucky blushed as he sat back on his knees, biting his bottom lip.  
"Present." He repeated, nodding his head as you bounced up upon hands and knees in front of him.   
  
You presented to him as if you were a meal on a platter ready for the taking. Hips in the air, shoulders and chest to the ground, legs splayed apart showing him full view of your arousal. You gave a little wiggle for your scent to permeate the nest around him, though admittedly you knew he was too far taken under in his rut cycle to appreciate the gesture.   
  
He purred as he held you hip firmly with one hand, lining up his thick cock with the other. He rubbed the tip against your heat, spreading arousal onto his member before he realigned, pushing himself in, inch by inch. You flinched with the intrusion, never quite ready for his girth. He stretched your walls without warning, pausing to pant before pulling back a little and then delving in further.   
  
Feeling your heat lubricate his cock, it was easier to take him the deeper he went. As he reached the hilt of his shaft, he stilled. Both of you panting and purring as you focused on your connection. He took the time for both of you to adjust before he began the slow shift of his hips, back and forth in a sweeping motion.   
  
You were already fisting the blankets with a growl that spurred him on a little more. The rhythm was building perfectly. The tip of his cock massaging all the right points. He felt so snug inside you, you couldn’t remember if mating always feel so good or was it the last of his rut driving your arousal through the roof.

As you purred loudly you hoped this heat wouldn’t be your last. You wanted this again. Often. Seasonal heats were something you’d been denied for so long, to share them with the love of your life felt so precious. Four in a year felt too much to hope for, if you were given the gift of one a year you would take it willingly.   
  
"Closer." Bucky grunted from above.  
He pushed on your sternum, forcing you back flush against his chest. He hummed as his one arm held you close, the other twirling down to continue to rub, flick and roll your clit in a variety of directions, causing you to cry out at the overload of sensation.  
Bucky groaned obscenely as he nuzzled into your shoulder, edging towards your throat with every thrust of his groin.   
  
"Closer." He grunted.   
He pulled out, taking you by surprise. You let slip a whine in delayed response before he flipped your hips around.  
Your back hit the floor of the nest with a thud, before he crowded you in, stealing your lips with his own his tongue was massaging yours before you could pay attention to what was happening.   
  
Bucky was soon back between your legs, lifting one up with the crook of his elbow as he sunk his cock deep into your heat. Refusing to waver his eye contact he began to shift once again.  
"My Omega." He grunted, lifting both your wrists above your head he held them down. "Tell me you're mine." He commanded.  
"I'm yours Alpha." You obeyed. He looked pleased as you purred loudly. "Forever and always My Love."   
"My Love," He grunted with every thrust "Yes. I love you."   
  
You felt your eyes rolling into the back of your head every time his cock would rub against that spot inside you. His pelvis was rubbing up your clit so delightfully, you didn’t want this to end. A pressure was building up underneath your feet, getting stronger and stronger, you found yourself letting slip little mewls of pleasure as Bucky pounded into you without mercy.   
  
Rolling your hips up to meet his own, you felt a tug from a slight swelling in Bucky’s cock. As he rolled his hips he caught again. And again. This time was different. Better. Perhaps he didn’t need your help. You could feel the knot inflating with every grind of his hips. If he got much bigger, he would be unable to continue. You were tight for his thick girth on a usual day. He needed to lock in. With an uncomfortable pop his knot almost caught you but slid out. Enough.  
"Alpha," You purred, pulling him down towards you. Bearing his scent gland to you, Bucky growled as you latched on, sinking your teeth into his gland. Rolling your tongue to lap up his blood seeping down into your mouth, you squeezed your hips.   
  
His pace stuttered as he ground deeper into you, you felt another pop as his inflated knot pushed past your ridge, locking into place. He didn’t realise what was happening as he tried to pull back out, unable too he whimpered, stopping his lunges as he plunged his nose into your scent gland..  
"Alpha," You murmured as he panted against your skin.  
"Omega," He cried back.  
"Move with me," You breathed, slowly rolling your hips.   
  
You didn’t mean to let slip the guttural growl as your Alphas cock pressed against every sensitive area you possessed, but as he rolled with you, locked in tight you were completely overwhelmed with sensitivity as your skin tingled and vision blurred.  
He growled back, before purring louder than you’d ever heard.  
"My Love," Bucky raised his nose to nuzzle yours with a victorious smile.  
Running your hands through his hair as his lips melted against yours, every nerve was being set off like a firework.   
  
"I love you," You sobbed against his lips as he let slip a moan of his own as you came, your walls squeezing him close as you let go of all tension in your bones.  
You ground together, Bucky massaging that spot as he got closer to his own release. Together you rolled your hips. Connected in the most intimate way. Your bond consummated with his knot he held you close. You understood why it was labelled the unbreakable connection now. You didn’t want it to end. You felt the bond in mind, body, and soul. You understood him. He understood you. Together.   
  
"Pops, I can feel you're close again." Bucky chuckled against you as he nuzzled into your gland.  
"So close," You panted to the nest canopy.  
"Come for me." He commanded, his pace faltered as he bit down upon your scent gland, reinforcing his pattern upon your throat.  
Your vision blurred and muscles spasmed as he rode the two of you through another orgasm. You whimpered against his cheek as he continued to grind his hips against yours, prolonging your pleasure.   
  
Each time you came down from your high, his gyrating hips would build you up towards the next hurdle, and then the next. Two more orgasms passed your lips before he let up. No Alpha had provided that much pleasure to you before. How had it even been possible?   
You weren’t sure if you could talk, but you definitely wouldn’t be walking anytime soon.   
  
"My beautiful Pops," Bucky smiled affectionately as he peppered kisses over your cheeks. You felt him roll his hips experimentally against your overstimulated clit.  
"No no no, Buck. No more. No more." You stuttered, making him giggle.  
"Watching you cum on my cock is my favourite thing in the world Omega." He beamed, nuzzling his nose against yours.  
"I've been cumming on your _knot_ Alpha," You panted, a cheeky grin spread over your face as he closed his eyes and tensed up.   
  
You could tell he wanted nothing more than to roll his hips one more time. He groaned into your gland as he gave it a little nibble.  
"You're quite good at locking in, aren’t you Alpha," you chuckled.  
Bucky pulled back to run his hand through your hair.  
"Plugged you up good Omega, none of my seed can escape this time." He grinned.  
"Where did this potty mouth come from?' You asked, all this talk of cum, and seed and plugging? This hadn’t been the quiet, soft spoken Alpha you were used too.  
"I think I just fell back to the 1940s," He blinked back in confusion. "Before I had manners."   
  
"I think I like it." You admitted with a giggle.  
"Like I like you," Bucky replied holding you close as he peppered kisses over your gland.  
Whilst you were distracted, he rolled the two of you over back into the nesting position, arranging you to be comfortable and pulling the blanket back around you two.   
  
The gentleness and grace your Alpha possessed, despite his size and despite his past was always something that flared your attention. He made it all seem effortless after all those years of training despite his anxiety and distrust of himself. If you could bottle up confidence for your Alpha you would. His care and patience would make him the ideal father figure of Pups. You sighed as your eyes became heavier. You wondered what may have happened if he had never enlisted. Would he had met an Omega and raised a family? Would he have had the white picket fence? It seemed unfair after all his hurt and trauma to be based in a security compound with a barren Omega, but that just lent into the realisation of how lucky you were to be in the right place, at the right time to meet him. He was all you could ever hope for.   
  
His right hand was rubbing your lower back, warming round circles as his breathing became low and slow.   
Tomorrow, you would rest off the last cycle before going back to work.   
Your first task once you returned to office was to enquire a meeting with Bucky’s therapist before beginning to explore what you both needed to do to become parents.


	39. 25th January

"You knotted her?"  
Bucky nodded, a smile spreading over his face.  
"You know what this means right? You've made a pup." Sam grinned from the kitchen table.  
Bucky felt his face fall as he continued to chop his avocado.  
"Sam. Don’t start this again." Nat placed down her mug of coffee as she entered the conversation.  
"We haven’t." Bucky admitted.  
"You _must_ have!" Sam exclaimed.  
" _Sam_." Nat warned  
"Poppin doesn't think we did." Bucky shrugged.

Taking a deep breath, he squashed down the weight of disappointment sitting on his chest. He had really hoped with that last cycle… just maybe… but No. Poppin wasn’t with Pup. Bucky had tried to hide his disappointment on the matter as best he could, it wasn’t her fault, nor his. It was just the way it was.  
  
Sam's eyes narrowed.  
"Of course she won’t think you did." He scoffed.  
Bucky turned towards Sam sternly.  
"What’s that supposed to mean?"  
"I mean, when it comes to the miracle of fertility, Pops isn’t a reliable narrator. She doesn’t believe." Sam explained holding his hands up.  
"Poppin told me Omegas know the minute they're with pup and she doesn’t feel it." Bucky frowned.  
"She said what?!" Sam asked.  
"She said it's a hind brain thing," Bucky shrugged.  
"It’s true." Nat offered, taking another sip of coffee. "Omegas know when a pup is conceived, or basically conceived. Obviously, it takes time to catch."  
  
"That's a thing?" Sam's jaw hit the floor "Omegas might be the most efficient designation you know."  
Nat reached over to punch Sam square on the arm.  
"You know it, Wilson." She smirked  
"So Poppin is sure you didn’t make a pup?" Sam turned back to Bucky who had was smashing the avocado against the side of a bowl.  
"Yeah." Bucky grunted getting suspicious as to where this was going again.  
"But is she sure, sure?" Sam asked.  
  
"Sam. Don’t upset her by asking, okay? She’s already upset she had to go get her heat signed off down in medical before being allowed back up here."  
"She’s just scared of the possibilities." Sam muttered as Bucky placed down his bowl and turned towards his two friends sat at the kitchen table.  
"No. Sam, enough. Poppin has spent too many years being made to feel less for not having scent. You mean well but you're going to alienate her if you keep on." Bucky replied bluntly.  
"But everything's changed! Now you've knotted there’s every chance..."  
"I'm not with pup Sam." Poppins voice carried over the kitchen as she exited the elevator with Steve. Sam gulped as he had the sense to look sheepish.  
  
She headed straight towards Bucky as he raised an arm for her to snuggle underneath. Wrapping her arms around his waist she reached up to kiss his cheek before hiding herself close to his chest. Bucky wrapped his arms around her shoulders, hiding her from view, giving her privacy.  
"Are you okay?" Bucky ducked to nuzzle his nose against her hair. The scent of himself intertwined with hers made his heart flutter as he hid a smile from the room.  
"Fine. Nothing I haven’t heard before." She sighed.  
  
"I don’t mean to upset you Pops." Sam apologised.  
"It’s okay Sam. Medical didn't believe me either. They made me take a pregnancy test." She mumbled, pulling away from Bucky’s embrace.  
"What did it say?" Sam interrupted, forgetting himself.  
Bucky threw Sam a glare.  
"Negative, stupid." He growled. He turned back to give her a squeeze as he looked down, waiting to see if she would elaborate.  
"I know my body. No one is listening to me." She sniffed "I would know if we had made a pup."  
  
Bucky pulled Poppin close to envelope her into a full hug. Stroking her hair, he kissed the top of her head as she began to cry.  
"Medical are just following protocol Pops, they don’t mean to upset you. Neither does Sam." Nat soothed. "They want to be sure."  
" _I_ am sure." She sobbed.  
Bucky shook his head disapprovingly towards Sam who was looking ashamed of himself.  
  
"Pops you need cheering up." Nat smiled "how about we all take the rest of today off and we watch films this afternoon?"  
Poppin consoled herself, stepping away from Bucky who was able to brush her tears away with his thumbs.  
"I think that's a great idea." He smiled, taking in the shadows under her eyes accentuated by her paler than usual complexion.

  
"I really need to catch up with work." Poppin mumbled.  
"There shouldn't be too much to catch up on, Sam and I stepped in to cover laundry and the food shop." Nat admitted "took me ages to get into your computer, I was very impressed."  
"We found your shopping lists and thought it would be appropriate to order the party pack. We got the good snacks in," Sam added bashfully.  
"You did?" Poppin sighed in relief.  
  
Bucky smiled at their pack mates gratefully. The medical team had meant well making her sign off the end of her heat, but this subject was too sensitive for Poppin. She looked drained stood here in the kitchen. Taking today off wouldn’t hurt, if any thing she could do with some quality pack time, a good few meals and a nap.  
Poppin bit her lip as she turned back to Bucky.  
  


Smiling down to her, he laid a gentle kiss upon her forehead.  
"I’ve got your favourite smashed avocado and poached egg at the ready, go get comfy on the couch and I'll bring it over." He encouraged as Sam stood, extending his hand towards her.  
"Come on Pops, I've been holding back squidges such Bucky showed up. Now your bonded he can’t bite my head off." He smiled as he led her over to the couches. "Urgh Barnes scented you up too good this week, all I can scent of you is Christmas."  
  
Bucky smirked as he turned back to see his boiling water rolling around the saucepan perfectly.  
"I'm proud of you Buck." Steve was stood next to the saucepan, his eyes beaming with pride as he embraced his best friend.  
"Proud of what?" Bucky asked, holding Steve close as he felt him nuzzling his hairline. Bucky hummed with contentment.  
"You, for handling everything so smoothly. Honestly I thought you’d hole up in your den for 18 months, I would never had predicted you’d meet an Omega, especially one who would tempt you out into the world and get you bonded and rutting again." Steve smiled as he pulled back.  
"I think you need to be proud of Poppin then, it was all her." Bucky admitted.  
"I am proud of her, but mostly of you for meeting her halfway." Steve watched him crack eggs into the saucepan. "Did your rut go okay?"  
  
"Yeah," Bucky smiled.  
"Did you happen too..." Steve trailed off, he didn’t need to say 'knot' out loud for Bucky to understand.  
"Yes." Bucky felt heat rising in his cheeks.  
Steve beamed in response.  
"I'm impressed!" He chuckled "took me 4 seasons to get that back after the ice."  
Bucky chewed his cheek.  
"I've got a question." He lowered his voice for only Steve to hear. Steve leant down to lean in the kitchen side, closer, but casual if the others were to look over.  
"Do you still knot, even though Nat can’t have Pups?" Bucky half whispered.  
  
Steve nodded subtly.  
"Every season. Don’t listen to Sam. Knots aren’t just for procreating, they're a strengthening of your bond." Steve replied.  
Bucky couldn't help the sigh that escaped him. Steve's eyebrow shot up.  
"Talk to me Buck."  
"Pops has already told me she’s not with Pup but I just hoped maybe because I had, we might have..."  
"Maybe it would override." Steve smiled sadly.  
"Yeah." Bucky sighed.  
  
"I’m sorry it doesn’t work that way. Have you and Poppin talked about building a family?" Steve asked.  
Bucky nodded, removing two poached eggs, and letting them drain off excess water.  
“Only briefly, mid cycle. We need to have a conversation about it.” He explained.  
"There are plenty of options when it comes to assisted conception; donors and surrogates. Adoption." Steve continued "Nat and I have looked into it."  
Bucky’s jaw dropped with excitement.  
"Really? You're gonna have a little Stevie running around?" Bucky grinned  
"Not yet." Steve grinned, before it dropped back into serious mode. "It’s why I'm so focused on these HYDRA cells. I want them eradicated so I know this world is safer for our Pups."  
  
Bucky nodded as he cracked his own eggs into the boiling water.  
"You would make a great Sire Buck. You kept me alive when you were basically a pup yourself." Steve smiled fondly.  
"I'm not sure, with my history if building a family would be an option." Bucky admitted sadly.  
"Buck I will fight for your right to sire a pup anyway I can. You know that?" Steve asked gently.  
Bucky nodded to his eggs, not sure if he totally believed in it.  
  
"Is there anything else I can help with? I feel like we are due a catch up." Steve smiled as he stood up straight again.  
"Actually yes, I was wondering if you and Sam would mind escorting me off compound, I have an errand to run." Bucky smiled  
"Sure, we could do this afternoon?" Steve suggested "how about you and Poppin have your brunch and then we can leave the girls to catch up?"  
  
Bucky grinned as he plated up his and Poppins meals.  
Admittedly he had expected to wait for a few days for Steve to be available, but spontaneity appeared to be a reoccurring feature in the life of someone who was free to live as they wished.


	40. 25th January # 2

Poppin hadn’t realised she had fallen asleep against the couch cushions until Nat was gently shaking her awake.  
  
Rubbing your eyes to wake quicker, you noticed a blanket tucked around your shoulders. Your heart skipped a beat for your best friend and her thoughtfulness.  
  
You had expected a season to be tiring, physically at least, what you hadn’t remembered was just how emotionally draining it was. Feeling feelings ramped up to 100 percent with the person you felt them the most had almost been painful, but it was nothing compared to sitting in the medical bay this morning.  
  
The doctors had been satisfied your heat was over, but they hadn’t believed you when you explained you weren't with pup. They insisted on checking, standing with an arm outstretched with a pregnancy test repeating phrases like 'standard procedure' and 'your own benefit' until you had broken down in tears unable to talk.  
  
Someone had fetched Bruce at that point, who had wrapped himself around you until you had calmed yourself. He had explained because you were Bucky’s mate, there was an additional interest in your ability to conceive his pup, not for your health record, more for his and the study of the consequences of his time at HYDRA. You had begun to growl before Bruce explained Bucky had been forced to continue to be studied by SHIELD in order to live in the compound.  
  
If there had been a moment to resign and pack a bag, it was then.

You considered where you’d go, what you could do to provide for yourself and Bucky. You considered Bucky, explaining to him that the two of you were leaving. Breaking away from the pack, but more importantly from his therapist. No. You needed to stay. For Bucky.  
  
Wiping away your angry tears you took the pregnancy test from Bruce, handing it back to him before it developed. You didn’t want to see what you already knew. By the time you had filled out your discharge forms, Bruce was looking down at your test. He raised his head with an apologetic smile to you when he was asked for the result.  
"Negative. Just as Poppin predicted." He placed the test in his pocket. "Thank you for your time Pops, I'll see you upstairs soon."  
  
"Pops." Nat was tapping on the couch in front of you impatiently. "Look."  
You looked up to Nat, but she wasn’t paying any attention to you, she was staring behind you, her mouth hanging open in delightful surprise.  
Turning towards her line of sight you were greeted by the sturdy shoulders of Sam, Steve and...  
"Ma'am," a voice interrupted you from your shock.  
  
Before you stood a clean shaven, short haired Bucky Barnes dressed in a deep blue plaid shirt over a black t shirt, jeans, and his signature boots. It was your Alpha, but not as you’d ever seen him before.  
  
"Oh!" You exclaimed sitting up to admire the view "Sergeant Barnes, I love the new haircut!"  
You turned in your seat, leaning up on your knees towards Bucky as he blushed and ran a hand through his hair, off his ears and crisp round the edges. He had been styled on top for it to sweep up and back a little.  
"You think it looks okay?" He asked a small smile playing on his lips, he had definitely appreciated this reaction  
"I think it looks great! You don’t look a day over 38!" You giggled. "May I?"  
You raised your hand but paused until Bucky gave consent for you to run it through his hair, he didn’t take his eyes off you as he nodded and watched your appreciation.  
"I was worried Sam had told them to take it too short." He admitted.  
"Not at all, this suits you. I love it!" You smiled  
"More or less than the long hair?" Sam asked, his arms crossed in victory behind. "Tell me the truth Pops."  
  
You leaned back to take in Bucky’s new appearance with a fond smile. He was looking apprehensive.  
"I... I actually can’t decide what I like more." You answered honestly "I loved the long hair, but this. Bucky you look something special."  
Bucky beamed in response; his nose scrunched in sincerity. He looked adorable. Like the weight of the world had never been placed on his shoulders all those years ago.  
  
"This is the Bucky Barnes I remembered." Steve added quietly.  
Everyone turned to look at Steve, the only clue that he was finding this emotional was the tense muscle in his jaw and a pink tinge overtaking his ears.  
"How long has it been since you last looked like this?" You asked.  
Bucky shrugged.  
"80 years? Give or take a few?" He admitted running a hand through the hair at the nape of his neck as he checked in with Steve. "I wasn’t allowed... I don’t remember haircuts being high on my list of errands. Back in those days."  
  
Bucky’s face shadowed a little as he referenced HYDRA. Something he was seldom to do. Sam was watching him as close as you were. He strode forward, clapping a hand on his shoulder.  
"Well now you got an appointment every 3 weeks for the rest of your life. You better keep that collar neat Buck."  
"I'll try my best," Bucky smiled sheepishly as he turned towards you, holding out a hand to take hold of yours.  
  
Immediately you felt a calm wash up your arm and into your chest as your Alpha’s tense shoulders dropped down to their usual position. Bucky stepped forward to nuzzle your hairline.  
"How’re you feeling?" He asked gently  
"Better," You smiled.  
"You've got some colour back in your cheeks." He smiled as he laid a kiss upon your forehead.  
"How’re you doing? I was too preoccupied this morning to ask," You ran a hand through the side of his hair, enjoying how the shorter strands reacted to being pushed around.  
  
Bucky faltered, looking self-conscious despite everyone else congregating in the kitchen out of ear shot.  
"Ummm, could we talk? In your office?" He asked looking up to catch your worried expression "I'm okay, it's just something happened today,"  
He rushed the end with a half-smile trying to soothe you.  
"Sure," you hopped over the back of the sofa to join him.  
As you closed your office door behind the two of you, Steve was watching, he gave you a smile before he turned back to Sam and Nat’s conversation.  
  
Worried, you took a good look at your Alpha. His cheeks were slightly paler than usual, and whilst he didn’t have dark shadows under his eyes his shoulders slumped in a way they did when he was exhausted.  
You led him to the couch to sit down, not realising your nervousness was showing when you pulled your feet up under you. Bucky grunted before dragging your legs over his lap.  
"Steve and I had a firm word with Sam today," Bucky mumbled as he arranged the two of you to lay down,  
His head rested on your shoulder with his arm wrapped around your waist, holding you tight. You turned to nuzzle his hairline. He was playing the good news before bad news routine.  
"Is he going to stop talking about Pups?" You asked quietly,  
"He’s promised too," Bucky mumbled before taking a deep breath. "About that. Pops, I need to talk to you about pups too,"  
  
You kissed Bucky’s head as he held you closer, as if scared you’d throw him off and run away. A nervous nausea was making its home in your stomach as you wondered what he was about to say.  
"Sure, what do you want to talk about?" You scratched at his scalp to soothe Bucky’s anxiety as his scent exploded inside the enclosed space.  
  
"I’m not sure how to say it," he admitted, taking another deep breath. "Today, leaving the compound for my haircut, I struggled. Even with Steve and Sam there. We went to a barber Steve knew, but I had a panic attack leaving the car."  
You squeezed him a little harder, rubbing his back.  
"I'm not good in public, being a regular civilian, in crowds. I know I was the one who bought up pups but, I was wondering if you would mind if we waited." He sighed.  
You let slip a breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding.  
"Of course we can Alpha, there is no rush!" You chuckled in relief as you held him closer, burying your nose in his hair.  
  
Bucky sat up, only to throw himself on top of you, crowding you in to nuzzle his nose against yours. You reciprocated until he was ready to pull away, his cheeks streaked with tears. He looked down at you with a small smile of relief on his handsome features.  
"Thank you Omega. I realised; I want to be able to take our Pups to a mall without a meltdown." He admitted. "I can’t do that yet."  
"You will Bucky, I have no doubts about it," You smiled.  
"I think, and when I spoke to Steve and Sam, they agreed, I need to concentrate on reintegrating into society for a little longer. But I don’t want to take Pups off the table, and I don’t want to confuse you after how I felt during our season."  
  
You smiled, pulling him down for a kiss as a weight was lifted from your shoulders.  
"I agree. I realised after you left today, You and I, we only leave the compound to walk in the countryside. We don’t go out to mix in society. We should go out for coffee sometime, go on a date with strangers around."  
You felt Bucky chuckle against you as he nuzzled into your gland.  
"I would love that." He admitted.  
  
You cleared your throat.   
"I have a confession, I'm not sure if I am ready for pups yet either."  
"You're not ready?" Bucky repeated sitting up to look at you properly.  
"I would have pups now if that's what you wanted,” You blurted in a rush, his features softened.  
“But?” he prompted “What are you thinking Pops?”  
“But honestly, I'm relieved we had this conversation. I wasn’t expecting our season to drain me so much emotionally. Sat down in medical this morning. It reminded me of all those years... I don’t know I'm prepared for that kind of attention again. Not yet."  
"I should have gone with you." Bucky frowned with concern.  
"No, you shouldn't have. I'm glad I went alone. I feel braver for getting out my comfort zone." You forced a smile, trying not to imagine the circus Bucky would have been accosted with if he had been available for studying by the residents.  
  
You sighed as you scratched Bucky’s scalp, eliciting a purr as he nuzzled back to your gland.  
"So we are good, our action plan is holding off on Pups, working on ourselves and going on dates a little more this year?" You confirmed.  
"Yes Omega." He purred louder as he sat back up, nuzzling your jaw before your cheek. He laid a kiss before he smiled up at you. "I really hope we get a chance to join the Spring Equinox Season, my scent is so strong with yours right now, I don’t want it to fade."  
You chuckled as he navigated the two of you into a sitting position.  
"Do you think we have a chance?" You asked quietly.  
"As big a chance as anyone else." He grinned. “Come Pops, time for dinner.”  
  
"Are you hungry? Sam said they're making potatoes with coats on." Bucky scrunched up his nose as he stood, holding out a hand to help you up from your couch.  
"Potatoes with... do you mean jacket potatoes?" You asked with a giggle.  
"Maybe? I didn’t really understand him the first time round." He admitted as he opened the door your office.  
  
The pack had laid on a spread taking up most of the kitchen table. Large bowls of salads sat next to smaller bowls of cheese, fried bacon, chicken, and chilli littered around the table. A lone can of tuna was included for good measure. You chuckled.  
Sam was laying out 6 extra-large baked potatoes from the oven, Steve was lighting candles, Bruce was pouring glasses of water and Nat set the cutlery out at the 6 spaces.  
Sam beamed when they approached.  
"We weren’t sure what topping to go for, so we went for all of them. Even your nasty ass tuna." He smirked.  
You snorted.  
"The tuna can return to the cupboard; I wouldn’t want your delicate nose to suffer with the scent Sam."  
"Everything okay?" Steve asked gently, smiling when Bucky nodded, rubbing your back.  
  
Once everyone had got their drinks and places at the table, conversations quieted as Bruce rose, clinking a fork on the side of his glass.  
"I propose a toast, for our packmates and their first season together, may there be many more in their future." He paused as everyone raise their glasses. "To Bucky and Poppin."  
  
You looked to your Mate; Bucky was grinning back at you as the table repeated.  
  
"To Bucky and Poppin!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huzzah!!! 40/40!  
> A very corny end, I know. I've been struggling with how on earth to wrap this up for weeks!
> 
> I guess this is the best time i explain, as we have finished our strangers to lovers trope, it made sense to me to take an interval break for those who came for that genre and stayed. Part 1 is completed. 
> 
> For those who wish to continue, Part 2 is taking off where this ends,  
> I can already tell you we've got more of an established relationship dynamic, I want to explore the HYDRA cells, I want to get to know Steve and have Bucky make friends with Loki, all whilst including our usual formula of mostly fluff, some angst, a little smut and of course constant confidence issues from Bucky and Poppin 😊 
> 
> Before you go, I would love to ask 2 questions whilst you're here. 
> 
> 1\. What was your favourite chapter and why?  
> I swear if you all say the kitchen incident & this could have been a one shot, I'll riot at dawn 😂 
> 
> 2\. Do you have any questions for me? 
> 
> Once again, THANK YOU for reading along with me, finding this site has been a game changer in my day to day & returning to writing has been SO FUN. To have it supported as well, is just *chefs kiss* I hope I can give part 2 justice. 
> 
> X  
> Emily


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